Baby given chocolate!

[areandare]

I would like honest feedback / opinions on this please as I don’t know if I’m overreacting and am happy to be told that I am.

My baby is 9 months old. He started weaning at 6 months and I have taken it quite seriously to do it as best as I can. Weaning books, trying home made recipes, introducing veggies before fruits, etc.

My partners parents like to have him once a week for a couple of hours to spend time with him and to prepare for when I return to work as they will be minding him for one day. Last week when I picked him up, MIL smugly told me “he had some chocolate today”. I was a bit taken back as I thought she was joking.

It turns out that she had broken up chocolate in to little pieces and given it to him. He has never had chocolate before , he was gifted a few Easter eggs and we still hadn’t given any to him.

I have a few issues with this.

1. The chocolate could be a choking hazard, everything that I have read says to melt it
2. She knows how I feel about giving him chocolate, and she didn’t even ask she just took it upon herself to give him it
3. This one sounds petty - but I would have liked to have been the one to give him his first taste of chocolate when I felt ready 😔

What do others think? Should I say anything or just leave it? I might be overreacting but I feel quite hurt by it. I feel quite strongly about a 9 month old not needing chocolate right now (no disrespect to those who give it) but he’s so happy with yogurt, fruit, etc so really doesn’t need chocolate as a treat yet.

The look on her face will be exactly the same the next time she has chocolate, it’s not that deep

It's not an issue. It's not going to do any harm. You are a bit precious if you think giving your child their first chocolate is a "thing". It's not.

Gawd wait until they’re older! I just sent my DGS 4 a jar of sweeties for being a brave boy at A&E (I do usually ask permission/respect boundaries!)

Give him some broccoli 🥦 and celebrate the first time had some greens then. Oh is that not the same?

What about cake? My toddler nephew was salivating at some home made vanilla cake I made earlier in the year but when it came down to it he only had a few small mouthfuls!

Honest feedback is it's not going to work out with them with doing a day a week childcare. You need to pay someone else.

A day a week is absolutely loads, having issues like this is going to make it a nightmare. There will be lots and lots of things you would have done differently. If they are doing it you need to just let them do it or find an alternative. Unless you have been really clear you don't want yoyr baby having chocolate and they have deliberately gone against your wishes. In which case you are back to needing alternative childcare

Bet he loved it!

Doesn't surprise me. Poor Kids.

Oh yes mine had cake! My son didn't really like anything sweet though till he was older.

Hahahahaha 🤣 Peak fucking Mumsnet!

The things people get themselves in a state about on this website never cease to amaze me 🤣

I think you had better start looking for a nursery or childminder. You can't ask your PIL to look after him if you're going to be this easily upset by stuff.

Yes, they should have stuck to your rules, but no, it isn't a big deal and it isn't worth making a fuss about. However, you do now know a) that they won't necessarily follow all of your rules if they don't agree with them and b) you have a tendency to overreact to minor things, so the childminding arrangement is clearly not going to work. Find paid childcare for when you're working and take baby to visit grandparents at the weekend when you can stay around to enforce whatever rules you like.

Omg, you'll laugh at this in a couple of years OP.

Its a very minor issue and I personally think being blown out of proportion (speaking as a fairly crunchy mum whose own kids aren't allowed sweet treats at home!)

Veg before fruit lol

Did you take him to A&E to be checked out? 😃

Bloody hell some of these replies 😆

Right firstly, I am NOT expecting free childcare. I have not asked for childcare. They have INSISTED that they have him one day a week. I had full intentions in paying for childcare on that one day.

The main issue is that she has totally dismissed what me and my partner have told her. I don’t care if you agree or not, in my opinion a 9 month old does not need chocolate. He doesn’t know what it is, (had) never had it before so there was absolutely no need. I’m not going to deprive him of sweet treats, but would rather him not have stuff like that during his weaning journey. She knew this but still decided to go against our wishes and give it anyway!

Also, I have not made a big deal of this at all 😂 I’ve not mentioned it to anybody, or kicked up a fuss. I have not made an issue. I came on here for opinions and to see what people thought. I wasn’t sure if I should say we’re not giving him chocolate yet, or to leave it and let her carry on going against our preference.

Im laid back and don’t dictate what he does when there, but this is something that I feel strongly about.

I bet a lot of you replying are grandparents who insist on going against their children’s basic requests. God it’s not hard to not give a 9 month old chocolate, it’s not as if I’m asking for much lol

It’s not crack cocaine - calm down. Or poke your finger in your own eye and don’t allow them to have him.

"Weaning books" plural OP? Don't do this to yourself. It's a human child not an entirely different species that you need to study up on. You know what humans eat - just do mushy or mushed and chopped up versions and avoid common allergy foods for a bit longer.

Weaning journey 🤦‍♀️

Ahhhh the age old, AIBU?

Yes you are.

NO I'M NOT!!!

I agree with you. MIL is out of order.
My kid eats plenty of sweets now.
But at 9 months old? No chocolate…

It's your child, they don't get to insist on anything. Say thanks but no thanks and find someone else who will abide by your wishes.

@Scout2016said books state you should introduce allergens early, you should give them a read!

A bit of chocolate is not going to harm them, I’ve never melted it as it’s not a choking hazard - surely she’ll be feeding them everything they eat whilst there so you do need to trust that she’ll cut anything appropriately.
My mum gave my just turned 1yr old at the time a bowl of jelly tots at 8.30am once.. I would say that’s a choking hazard and totally unnecessary / not ideal, however I raised specifically the shape of them with her and said he sometimes doesn’t chew his food properly which she took onboard. But I’ve genuinely seen her put table spoons of sugar on strawberries or cereal for my DC, we’d never do anything like that at home (and she sure as hell didn’t do that for me) but my DC have a great relationship with her and with food, as well as being super active so I just let her get on with it and she feels like she’s giving them a little treat!

Ask her not to do that again, no sweet treats at all. Then put it behind you and move on.