AIBU to say no to grandparents taking children abroad?

[Melissax90]

Hi everyone
I am looking for some options on something.
I have a DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) and my in-laws have asked my opinion on letting them take them abroad on their own, specifically to Spain. I wholeheartedly trust them completely and know they would be completely safe but still for me it is a hard no. I don't like the idea of them being in a different country especially if they needed me and I couldn't get there quickly.
My partner has said its completely my decision but he seemed quite open to the idea and although he hasn't said it I think he might feel I am being unreasonable.
So just for piece of mind, what does everyone think?
My decision is no and won't change but I'm just intrigued to see others options
x

we did that happily. That’s different though. Leaving them in a house you know and a routine is one thing, but letting them go on a plane to a new environment without you is completely different. It is majorly disruptive to small children. I couldn’t have got comfortable not knowing where they were staying and things like pools as others have identified.

How much does your partner take care of your dcs? I’d be quite concerned if he thought this. I wouldn’t have let my mother take my dd so young either. Tweens, teens, fine as long as they’re sensible enough and listen to GPs.

If I completely trusted them, like you do, and children and GPs were in good health so it was unlikely there'd be a medical emergency, I'd let them go.

I haven't taken my grandchildren abroad, but I have taken them on holiday in the UK when they weren't much older than yours. It's hard work! Very rewarding, but still hard work.

Why not suggest that they take them on holiday somewhere fairly local so that they can see how it goes? They might find it too difficult. The children might get homesick, or they might all have a fabulous time bonding.

My grandchildren still talk about the holidays they had with us and the last one was about 4 years ago, before I was diagnosed with cancer, (I'm fine, by the way) but I was glad that I could get them home within less than 2 hours at short notice if needs be.

I'd be more worried about how the GPs would cope with two little kids for a week, more than how the kids would be!

YANBU I wouldn't agree to that. And the fact that it would cause you stress is enough reason to say no. The dcs might find it stressful anyway at those ages.

They should fully respect your decision, without any drama.
It sounds like a lovely idea for the future 😊

My Grandparents were taking myself and my brother away to all places at that age. I have such lovely memories of all my holidays with them both. Now they are unfortunately immobile and one has dementia and it makes me incredibly sad that my children won’t get to experience even a holiday with us and them.

Christ no! Too young.

My parents did this when I was six (for a week) and I was perfectly happy (awesome granny and granddad). But then nothing went wrong. When all's said and done, you're the boss.

Not at that age. My in laws have had my children regularly but we’re getting to the point where a full week feels a bit too much for everyone. I’d be wary of an abroad trip with children that young and I don’t think you’d be unusual for saying no.

Would be a hard no from me but everybody’s circumstances are different. For example if granny & grandad are very hands on already and have many domestic trips / stay overs under their belt. Plus experience of the place they’re going to then maybe.

But if not and they are getting on with health problems etc. then no chance. So much potential for it to go horribly wrong.

Not a chance! My ILs used to go out when abroad and leave their kids asleep in the hotel room … a ‘babysitter’ would pop in every hour or so … 😵
unless they were like me, where my kids go everywhere with me, never get left alone then I ‘may’ let them take them in the UK but abroad .. I worry too much about health care and being able to get to them quickly if necessary

Depends on the in-laws / grandparents involved and how involved they are usually . My mum took our eldest to Disneyland Paris when he was about 3 and I had no issue with that , she was brilliant with him .

I’d say no as well, much too young. Have they even looked after the two children for any length of tine in this country?

Thanks everyone for your opinions! I had a feeling most people would agree with me so it hasn't suprised me by the responses.
Its nice to hear some clarification 😊

Not everyone hates their in laws

I think they are a bit too young at the moment.

No to young.

Cant you all go. You and your partner could enjoy some free time on your own as they are clearly happy to take charge of the kids

I traveled with my grandparents as a child, at 9, 11 and 13 (and 26 if that counts)! They were some of the happiest times of my life and still my favourite memories and it was over 30 years ago! I think 5 and 3 is too young but hope you can make it happen one day.

I can't imagine why they would think you would want to be away from them for so long when they are so young. The dads are always more enthusiastic about this kind of separation in my experience

How does it benefit the kids? I find it weird. It's just for overbearing grandparents who want to play at parents again.

I see loads of threads with grandparents wanting overnights and one to one time these days.I just don't see how it benefits tiny children to be away from their parent. It's not what they'd choose.

I'm sure a family holiday might be fun for them (not necessarily you!) but no need to go without you at all.

My in laws never offered. They rarely went on holiday themselves and did not have a clue about how to interact with our DC.

But in any case, I think 5 and 3 is a bit young to be in a foreign country away from you... How long would it take you to get there if something happened? The three year old would miss you.. and parents are more used to the speed of a 3 year old and more aware of potential accidents.

It would be a hard no from me. Maybe when they were older.

No. I wouldn’t.