AIBU to say no to grandparents taking children abroad?

[Melissax90]

Hi everyone
I am looking for some options on something.
I have a DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) and my in-laws have asked my opinion on letting them take them abroad on their own, specifically to Spain. I wholeheartedly trust them completely and know they would be completely safe but still for me it is a hard no. I don't like the idea of them being in a different country especially if they needed me and I couldn't get there quickly.
My partner has said its completely my decision but he seemed quite open to the idea and although he hasn't said it I think he might feel I am being unreasonable.
So just for piece of mind, what does everyone think?
My decision is no and won't change but I'm just intrigued to see others options
x

My children live with me and their Papa, they don’t live in another country with their Grandma.

Ok so none of you live in the UK.
grandma lives In Portugal
you and kids live in another European country
Grandma travels from Portugal to your country to collect your children to take them to the Uk to a caravan site
correct?

I think given your update about co sleeping etc they are maybe a bit young. Do they regularly stay with your inlaws? Maybe suggest start with an overnight at home then weekend uk break first and let your inlaws now how much you appreciate the thought.

Yes, we would usually fly them to her, but she’s going to be here seeing a friend, so it makes more sense for her to fly them out. We’ll likely pick them up and have a long weekend in the UK.

Phew got there in the end. I’d have thought Portugal caravan site would be much more pleasant and less effort!

but each to their own. Your 10 year old is not akin to a 5 year old. And you know it!

Developmentally he’s about average seven on a good day. Not really, she always goes to Lovat sites, they’re nice and quiet, plus she feels it isn’t a holiday for her if she’s at home.

but still not 5 and 3 which are practically babies!

Spain normally means pools and the sea and I just wouldn’t risk it. Even if they are young, fit and well you quickly forget just how vigilant you have to be. A moment’s inattention and a child can be out of sight and silently drowning.

I wouldn’t give that as a reason though. I’d just say they’re too young for you to feel happy with it but when they are older you’ll probably feel differently.

It’s also a risk in terms of one or both of them getting homesick. You can’t just drive and pick them up in a couple of hours.

I wouldn’t want to miss out on holidaying with my children!

From the other point of view, I have friends who now have grandchildren and I can think of a couple of cases where they have taken quite young GC (under 5) away without parents. What perhaps makes a difference is that in the cases I’m thinking of there is only one young child with more than one grandparent, or a grandparent plus another adult. Grandparents are 50s/early 60s.

ETA - this doesn’t mean that the children are missing out on a holiday with parents BTW, it’s an additional holiday.

Unless you all go, then no from me. They are too young.
Personally my reasoning is: the amount of ED attendances I triage where preventable accidents have happened when the child is in the care of grandparents is crazy. They just don’t have the same level of attentiveness that parents have. I wouldn’t risk it with mine, not in a foreign country, new environment, pools, just nope.

No way - you never know what could happen, eg war, flights cancelled, lockdowns etc. Very unlikely but as we know not impossible