AIBU to find my husband's constant undressing at home annoying?

[saamantha19881]

My husband has asked me to post on here to guage opinions.
The minute he gets in the door he takes his top off, often- his trousers too and will just be wearing pants. He says it is more comfortable.

I'm starting to find it really annoying, once in a while if it's really hot it makes sense. But it is literally all summer and winter. It means he can't ever answer the door, just pop into the garden or grab something from the car. And to be honest, I just don't like it.

Apparently it is completely normal (his dad did it too) and he thinks I would be surprised because everyone does this in their own homes??

I dont think its a big deal. If he can't be comfy in his own house where can he comfy?
Maybe leave a paid of shorts close by so he can answer the door if he needs to.
You're reaction seems a little harsh to me.

I live with teens and this would make them feel uncomfortable especially as they have friends drop by

you live with people in their nineties…. They cool with you and / or partner wandering around in undies @CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone ? You have teens? Kids?

My dad had really bad eczema and hated wearing his work suit so after he retired he lived in the 'dressing gown of doom'! I think he may have been nude underneath but I don't recall him walking round with nothing on. I'd say topless for men at home (or women if they like tbh) is fine.

But just a pair of budgie smugglers or totally naked is not really great.

The dressing gown I think needs a gentle introduction.

Hah. I was thinking about sex-based differences.

If I told my husband I was going to walk around in just my pants all day, so he was responsible for getting stuff from the car, answering the door, cooking, etc., he wouldn't be able to say yes fast enough 😂

He looks pretty good in just his pants, which I obviously enjoy in the right circumstance, but I wouldn't find it appealing just watching him lounge around like that all day.

I think it’s grim. I wouldn’t want his body oils/sweat on the furniture, watch him eating dinner etc and being expected to be the person to answer the door/pop outside wouldn’t impress me.

DH runs hot and gets changed when he comes in. Usually into shorts/tee shirt or in winter tee shirt and light joggers.

A partner around in pants as an adult would give me the ick - it’s just really uncouth and disrespectful to the rest of the family and not something I’d want my children to think was acceptable/normal.

Do you wander round your house topless @whywonthelisten? What if you are downstairs and someone is at the front door? I never do and I live alone! I wouldn’t wander round the house shirtless if I was a man either.
shirts and T-shirt at a minimum.

Thank you for replying to me. When you said it’s normal for you and your family, I thought you were meaning that you and your family do what OPs dh is doing.

You cover up if your son is around, ops dh isnt. You expect your son not wear skin tight underwear around you for your comfort and he puts a towel round when he’s walking around. Ops dh does not. OPs dh is stripping to his tight underwear when he gets home and doesn’t show any consideration for his wife and children who have to share the family space with him.

Put a pair of shorts and tshirt downstairs ready for next time he does it!

I wouldn't like it either. There's no need to wander around half naked. Just wear a top.

That also goes for all the boys and men who feel the need to take their tops off as soon as there's a sliver of sunlight. So unnecessary (and they'd actually feel cooler with a top on that wicks away sweat).

Have you watched Friday Night Dinner - tv series? The husband spends most of his time in the house with no top on...its very funny.
I'd find your situation difficult tbf. Have you asked husband why he does this?

No. Both are fairly form fitting and pretty clearly show off the bits of both people.

What you seem to be arguing is that male bits = disgusting, female bits = attractive and that comes across as fairly sexist.

I've spent 50 years telling men they dont get to tell women what they can and cannot wear. The last 10 years we've told them not to stare at women as they have moved towards gym wear as street and leisure wear.

But you seem to be saying that men should hide their bits away and, if they don't, women (wife) can't just not look or ignore what they see.

I have always argued that feminism is about equality - you seem to think differently, no?

What’s your situation?

Wander around in undies? Who do you live with? You mentioned people in their 90s… Kids?

I dont know what that question means?

I’m not arguing anything

if everyone in the house cool with something… all good.

If one loved one I live with says they feel uncomfortable with something, then yeah- I’d probably pull a t shirt on.

and DEFINITELY this would be twatty behaviour with teens around but I’m going t take a punt you don’t have teens

how do you go around at home? And who do you live with and they do the same or happy with it?

Honestly, I'm on his side, sorry. Maybe some long thin loose fitting PJ bottoms i stead of pants is a good compromise if it bothers you though.

I don't wander round in undies but then I usually I keep my house at 16 degrees when the seniors aren't visiting. When they are i spend a lot of time outside and limit cooking.

However, since it's possible to dress warm (but not dress cold) if anyone here was hot I'd offer to drop the house temp and put more clothes on.

You may remember the office thermostat debate where women were cold because the heating was set for men.

Women, on average, have a lower metabolic rate and typically require a room temperature around 24deg C to feel comfortable, compared to men who prefer around 21deg C.

What do you suggest her DH should do if he's hot because the house is kept at a temperature the OP is comfortable with?

You seem concerned about how everyone feels except him, and his problem is physical not societal angst.

Ok so you don’t wander around in underwear
Got it

Nooooo naked is fine, pants is fine.

but when long trousers come off, so must socks!

It varies.

I dress according to what I'm doing and what the weather is.

My partner does not judge what I wear or how/whether I have make up on or hair perfectly arranged.

Sometimes if it's stupid hot I'll strip off.

If lying on a sunbed usually I'll be naked (on a towel).
Ditto DP

And no-one in this family gets odd about it.

We have no fear of seeing naked bodies nor, incidentally, of seeing dead ones.

We've all been brought up understanding what is natural.

Well that’s awesome. No one you live with minds or feels uncomfortable!

and no mention of teens around - phew!

It is definitely a thing in some places, but I would hate it. He could at least wear shorts over his pants.

I also think it’s sending a signal that he doesn’t expect to do any work around the house. Surely he’s not cooking dinner in just his pants? Or cleaning? Or mowing the lawn? Or, frankly, anything useful. Sod that.

Sorry.
Do you think you just won an argument?

The question was not what I do.
It was does anyone have the right to dictate what OPs DH does without making an accommodation for his overheating, and particularly if it's ok to say he cant wear certain clothes because of what you can see and your discomfort about that.

What is your obsession with teens?

Do you equate full/partial nudity with some sexual perversion?