AIBU to find my husband's constant undressing at home annoying?

[saamantha19881]

My husband has asked me to post on here to guage opinions.
The minute he gets in the door he takes his top off, often- his trousers too and will just be wearing pants. He says it is more comfortable.

I'm starting to find it really annoying, once in a while if it's really hot it makes sense. But it is literally all summer and winter. It means he can't ever answer the door, just pop into the garden or grab something from the car. And to be honest, I just don't like it.

Apparently it is completely normal (his dad did it too) and he thinks I would be surprised because everyone does this in their own homes??

Not in my house!

I can't be the only one thinking of THIS from Friends. 😆

So you wear shorts but no pants? @NotAnotherScarf ? Is that what you mean?

I appreciate this comment SO much! Your story about the bulk buying when something finally works is so real.

Until this thread I thought it was totally normal to be undressed at home unless you have guests - But, I have autism and ADHD and so does DH. And on top of the sensory issues, our neurodivergencies mean we don't "do" unexpected guests.

My sister is AuDHD too and has 2 autistic kids. She has to remind them a lot not to take their clothes off when visitors are around because they just want to be nude at all possible times. 2 days into my last visit my 5 y.o. niece said "I like it when you visit but I'm very sick of wearing clothes"!😂

What state of undress?

Honestly it’s been struggle, even with the tried and tested underwear she has to put them on and let them “calm down” before she can then put trousers or shorts on over them! Getting ready takes so long in the mornings lol.

I don’t know what we’ll do if they stop making them….

Do they ever stay overnight with friends? Or have friends for sleepovers? @Debtdolly

I imagine few men would be complaining if the roles were reversed!

I do get not fancying DP to be sat on the sofa in just pants, especially in summer when certain areas could get a bit sweaty! Naked bums on furniture is where I’d draw the line personally.

But other than that I don’t understand the outrage at all. Fine for a man to be sat on a beach with no top on but not the privacy of his own home? Bonkers.

DH and I are always fully nude at home unless it's absolutely freezing.

If someone knocks, do you grab a dressing gown? Do you get dressed to garden? Fry food?
do you have guests over? Do you dress then?
if you have kids and they say they aren’t comfortable with this, will you change?

Yes, and in those situations she would wear pjs - a shorts and tshirt/vest type so she doesn’t get too hot. We’ve discussed what is and isn’t appropriate in company, if she wants the sleepover she wears the PJs. I think she sees it as necessary evil not to miss out. She is a bit older though, I can imagine with younger kids it’s harder.

My DH has an incredible body but I would hate this, would absolutely give me the ick. Thin cotton shorts and t shirt won't cause overheating and are much more reasonable especially with kids around

Oh that’s positive. So when it’s something she wants…. A sleepover, she manages to put aside what she needs to do at home.

what about sport at school and changing?

Honestly? I find this very weird. Comfy clothes at home, like sweatpants, shorts, t-shirt - of course! But not just wandering around for hours in your underwear. I have lived in 5 different countries on 2 continents and that would have been considered strange everywhere.

I don't think it's common at all. We get changed into our home clothes when come home from work, for me yoga pants and sweatshirt. Hubby has lounge pants and tshirt.

I would hate anyone topless in the house, I would find it gross if he was sweating on the sofa 🤢

Why does it matter to you, unless I’ve missed a drip feed, that he can’t pop to the car or answer the door? If you’re expecting something/someone then you can answer the door, and if you’re not then the door goes unanswered and if your DH misses something then it’s on him.

If I wanted to kick about in my pants in my own home that I pay for, I would (DCs notwithstanding)

Can't he just put his pjs on or some shorts

Walking around in just your boxers is weird

Well there we go “DC not withstanding”

so you would adapt for someone you care about.

and I would suppose he doesn’t just pay for the house alone

Oh wow, how triggered am I! My ex would have lived life in his boxers. Changing into comfortable clothes when you get in is fine - some do pj’s, some do shorts and t-shirt and wasn’t this why ‘lounge wear’ was invented??
Feeling comfortable to be naked or almost naked in your own home is one thing, doing it all the time is another.
Who else is in the house? Are they comfortable with this? A lot of people do not want the accidental ‘bit’ dropping out.
Kids of a certain age would feel uncomfortable and yes, in this age, being almost naked around children is not a good thing.
Pool, beach can be exceptions and you can be proud of your body no matter how it looks but you don’t have to take your clothes off to prove it.
My bar was reached when both my ex and his step son (not my son) decided it was ok to come to the dinner table at Christmas like this - it was not ok. It was in fact very disrespectful as was this type of behaviour in the end. As you say they can’t even just nip to the car or answer the door.

We wear clothes in our home. Shoes off in the hall, slippers on. I think I’d find someone sitting around leaning on furniture with inevitably sweaty underarms / bottoms etc in summer a bit gross. But i guess the idea of my husband’s or my genital areas or breast bouncing around very clearly in front of our children and tween daughter just doesn’t sit well with me. We are teaching them that their bottoms etc are private. Mum and Dad’s bottoms should be private too. Anyway, it’s not “normal” in our home, in any of our families’ homes or in any of our friends’ homes 🤷🏻‍♀️
If it makes you uncomfortable I think he should wear a loose tee and shorts at least. He wouldn’t be “hot” but you’d feel comfortable in your own home.

What a weird take, comparing a wife to children. My DH would never dream of dictating to me what I did and didn’t wear in the house in the presence of my adult partner; likewise I would extend him the same courtesy because I’m an adult and don’t get the childish “ick” over someone in their pants in their own home, whom I’m married to. I do apologise if my lack of pearl clutching is problematic to you

Dictating? If my husband said something I was doing was making him feel uncomfortable at home, and that he was concerned about how the children will see this as they grow up and have friends over - I would adapt.

Same here. My reaction reading the OP was "ugh"

My ex used to undress to go to the toilet, it was weirdest thing ever.

Its in reference to Friday night dinner