AIBU to be furious after hearing my husband swear at our baby?

[andreae23]

My baby is 10 months old and isn’t a good sleeper at all. My husband usually does a few resettles in the first few hours when he is up anyway and then I’ll take over and be up multiple times a night every single nihht, baby is breastfed too.

anyway my husband was in there with him this evening, I was still in the living room where he has the monitor, usually I am upstairs. Baby was a little unsettled going back over in his arms, not hysterical or anything but I heard my husband say ‘would you just shut the f*ck up.’ To him. I’m absolutely raging. Livid. I can’t even look at him I stormed up there and took our baby and told him to not come near us. I’m so mad and I think it’s really messed up to say that?? He said he was frustrated and it wasn’t in an aggressive tone and the baby doesn’t understand so he doesn’t see the issue. I’m boiling over with rage at home rn!!!!! Would you be mad?

It is more than dramatic. Some people need to get a fucking grip.
A poster above said that she would kick the husband out over this!!
Who are these women?😀

So completely irrelevant to this then? What was the point mentioning it?

You rightly reported abuse. This isn’t abuse

I think most of us who have said that we had our similar moments, will have been talking more to ourselves than to the baby. We know the baby doesn't understand, so it's just a bit of a pressure valve.
I had a worse sleep deprived moment. When I put my baby back in the cot in despair, I did so more roughly than I should. As soon as I'd done it, I was shocked at myself, and tearful. And like a pp said, it gave me a split second's awareness of how someone can end up shaking a baby.

I'm not a dreadful person. I was a very good parent, and certainly wouldn't have deserved to have been thrown out by my DH. And of course it never happened again.

Yes you sound unhinged.
There was no mention of shouting. The baby will never know about the swearing. What harm has been done at this point? Not what may or may not happen in the future, today. What harm has been done?

If the OPs husband/partner is an otherwise loving, proactive engaged father then it seems a bit daft to separate over a single lapse on his part and make your life immeasurably more difficult.

People are not saying it is okay, they are recognising that early years parenting can be stressful and challenging and sometimes it can get a bit too much resulting in frustration and in this instance, swearing. Plenty of examples of parents on this thread recounting moments of sleep deprived exasperation with their infants. Good on you for being perfect.

I’d be livid

I’m understanding usually but I’d be absolutely livid over that.

He doesn’t sound like the best catch to be honest, what’s next? Hitting the baby?

I’m not perfect but i have standards which seem to be severely lacking

it’s disappointing that people do not recognise abusive behaviour

Yep, unhinged.