Thought on this? DS school situation..

[Miserablelittlesoul]

DS (9) lost 5 minutes off his break yesterday because he didn’t complete his work in time. He said his teacher wrote the questions on the board and he didn’t get to write them down in time before she had wiped them off. He didn’t tell her that he didn’t get the questions down in time. He eventually got the remaining questions from his friend and completed the work but still lost his break. He said the questions were difficult and he was stuck working them out. I should add I believe my son has adhd like me so I’m fully aware he may be struggling and not using his voice when he needs to be.

My concern is she didn’t ask him why he didn’t manage to complete it she just took his book away from him and didn’t ask no further questions.

Then the 5 minutes he lost in break she still didn’t address it with him?

this is the response I’ve had from her

Hi, no he did not tell me or the other adults in class that he was struggling. If he had, we would have given him the support he needed. I will pick this up with him today or tomorrow and find out which question he was struggling with. By the end of the lesson, he had actually completed the flashback which was the work I was talking about. Thanks for letting me know.

DH feels like she is fobbing us off, I hate confrontation but I’m fully aware I need to be supporting my son.

Thoughts please

Interventions for AdHD can be behavioural- some kids and adults never medicate and it is the first line response for many young children who are suspected adhd. Some parents may never have tried behavioural methods and that may be sufficient for their child’s needs. Equally there are still schools and teachers with poor SEN support. Nine is quite a critical age - you might expect
to be seeing the child develop out of some of the behaviours at this stage and if you are not, and there are a number of behaviours, if you choose to wait there is a real risk that that the education of your child will be severely impacted due to long waiting lists that @arethereanyleftatall mentions. @Miserablelittlesoul needs to ask for Senco input from the school now.

So agree. Not every child has ADHD. They have to learn to organise themselves and remember their stuff. DD in her fifties left brand new phone on the bus last night. She doesn’t have ADHD.

My son lost break time once for not completing work, I did complain. He's autistic and struggles to get started and stay on task but that wasn't really my problem with it, he really struggles with routine change and taking breaktime away. Which is what he relies on as a benchmark for timing out his day. Throws him off entirely and leads to so much upset at home he may not be able to sleep for ruminating. May have a violent meltdown. May schoolr excuse the next day which means it takes forever to get him back in the door. Thank God our school are supportive, the teacher agreed his table who were collectively kept in shouldn't have lost breaktime due to the impact that has and different strategies were put in place. It's so hard seeing your child struggle with something that seems like a non event, 5 minutes of a single breaktime? Sure that's nothing. But for some kids that routine is what's standing between them being able to attend or not.

How sure are you?

The day my son's teacher cancelled their break time she still wne to the staffroom and left them to it. Literally told them she wasn't missing her break over them.

Anyone waiting for education, either state or very expensive private, to meet all their individual child's needs is going to be very very disappointed. PARENTS most often have to take the lead in ensuring their child is being catered for. And even then, it will never meet all needs. It's impossible. It's why one parent and one child sitting at the table at home, doing homework is so valuable. YOU know your child's needs better than anyone.

I had tutoring as a child and my tutor mainly worked with private ed students. She said it was ironic. Those parents were paying 3 times for education. In their taxes. Private school fees. Private tutoring fees. And STILL not every need was met.

I’m a primary teacher and I actually really dislike the practice of taking break time away from children for not completing work. Breaks are vital for children’s concentration and mental wellbeing, particularly for ND pupils. They are also essential for social-emotional development, which is as important as the academic curriculum in my view.

I would continue to advocate for your child if I were you. You are being perfectly polite about it and there isn’t some crucial taboo about challenging teachers’ practice, although MN can sometimes imply as much.

This is one of the problems with education in 2026. The parents spend more time fighting the teachers than supporting the kids' education!

How is she ‘fobbing you off’? She replied within 24hrs; acknowledged that your son hadn’t said he was struggling so she wasn’t aware; has said she’ll talk to him personally; and has agreed to find the particular question he was struggling with so she can support him with this. I genuinely don’t understand what more you want? I hope for the sake of both the teacher and all the children in your child’s class that she isn’t having to deal with these kind of reactions to her perfectly reasonable and helpful response from all the other parents every day too…

That’s terrible and a big safeguarding concern

To leave a 9 year old in a classroom for 10 minutes? Seriously?

My daughter is 3 years into waiting for her autism assessment. They think another 3 to go… at which point she’ll be 16 so might age out first. Luckily I’m in Scotland so she has some adjustments at school without the need for a diagnosis, but it was a very difficult time in S1. Just for the OP, you need to start fighting and researching and seeing what is possible with money or time if you really are concerned about ADHD. You’re years away from any sort of therapy or medication no matter what so better to start as soon as possible.