Thought on this? DS school situation..

[Miserablelittlesoul]

DS (9) lost 5 minutes off his break yesterday because he didn’t complete his work in time. He said his teacher wrote the questions on the board and he didn’t get to write them down in time before she had wiped them off. He didn’t tell her that he didn’t get the questions down in time. He eventually got the remaining questions from his friend and completed the work but still lost his break. He said the questions were difficult and he was stuck working them out. I should add I believe my son has adhd like me so I’m fully aware he may be struggling and not using his voice when he needs to be.

My concern is she didn’t ask him why he didn’t manage to complete it she just took his book away from him and didn’t ask no further questions.

Then the 5 minutes he lost in break she still didn’t address it with him?

this is the response I’ve had from her

Hi, no he did not tell me or the other adults in class that he was struggling. If he had, we would have given him the support he needed. I will pick this up with him today or tomorrow and find out which question he was struggling with. By the end of the lesson, he had actually completed the flashback which was the work I was talking about. Thanks for letting me know.

DH feels like she is fobbing us off, I hate confrontation but I’m fully aware I need to be supporting my son.

Thoughts please

Why do people always come up with this nonsense every time there's a mild issue around what a school does? Guess what, no-one is perfect, teachers can make mistakes, and if they can't cope with having that pointed out and leave the profession as a result, then they weren't in the right profession in the first place.

Jesus Christ 🤣🤣 Teachers - you have my sympathy …

Why do some people seem to think that it's insulting to teachers for parents to advocate for their children, if they think there is a problem at school?

It's a parent's job to advocate for their child.

Context is missing here.
How does he usually behave in class? Is he disruptive? Do you think he has ADHD because he gets hyper in class?
This reads like your DS can't do anything wrong and it's all the teacher's fault. You are taking his word at face value and excusing short comings with a neurological condition that hasn't been diagnosed with. He may be ND, but I'd love to hear the teacher's view on this incident. Either way, instead of fighting the teacher on a missed 5 min break (which by the way wasn't punishment, just a chance to finish his work) I would spend your energy getting him assessed if you truly think he is ND.

Imagine if you were constantly being micromanaged or having your professional judgment called into question by people who aren't even present in the room while you are at work.

Of course a serious issue or allegation should be escalated by parents but this issue is absolutely trivial.

You are being completely ridiculous. You are assuming he was working hard and trying his best but still couldn't get the work done, but I guarantee there will be more to it than that. The teacher will know what he is capable of, maybe not last September but certainly by now, and in my opinion she has written a good response to you. Teachers have very few sanctions at their disposal, and it won’t kill him to lose five minutes' playtime once in a while.

Of course you want to support your child but you are making a rod for your own back if you encourage him to expect you to complain and interfere every time a teacher does something he thinks is unfair.

Presumably OP has already been to the GP to arrange testing/diagnosis if she thinks her son has this, definitely by Y4? What did the GP say, OP, and have you given this information to the teacher?

To me it sounds like it’s finished, move on. The teacher spent valuable time politely replying to your email, your son will now learn from this. Five minutes is nothing but it’s been a good lesson to him. From your description of the task, should your son write all the questions down from the board first and then start to answer them?

I remember when a pupil threw an eraser and it hit my son’s forehead - he instinctively said “ouch” but the teacher hadn’t seen, there was meant to be silence and son got told off for talking! Had to stay behind and had discipline marks on his mark card which stayed with him for the term. C’est la vie - he’s 25 tomorrow and we laugh about it.

This

See this so often. Parent slaps a label on the child because that is a cop out for explaining their behaviour. Kid forgets things and is badly organised? Could it just be that mummy does absolutely everything for him so he never needs to use his brain? Lays out PE kit and uniform, fills water bottles, sorts school bag, tidies away behind him?
And kid prefers to gawp into space than put his hand up and say 'excuse me Mrs X can you let me have a copy of the questions as I haven't quite got the last 2?' Which most teachers would have no issue with.

When my DC was in primary, I asked several teachers if they thought he showed any signs of them having ADHD, all said no, just needs to focus. I also went to the GP (who referred back to school), which was secondary school by this time. They just said, too easily distracted and needs to concentrate. Moved to new college for 6th form and brought it up with them, they assessed him and said there were definite signs.

It doesn't take much for a teacher to ask why they didn't manage to get the work done in the allotted time, and any decent one should be asking those questions. Not handing out punishments.

Don't be fobbed off by a shitty teacher.

If there’s an ongoing problem, yes of course, but it is not a parent's job to lead their child to expect them to query and complain about every trivial thing a teacher (or anyone else) does that the child doesn’t like. It doesn’t do the child any favours.

She cares about your son’s education hence why she wanted him to finish the work. She’s doing her job! I’d be more annoyed if she allowed my son to do the minimal amount, let him fall behind, and let him think school was all about playtime.

Teachers do not need micro-managing by parents.

This. It's sorted. Move on.

Rather than looking for potential diagnosis, look for things that would support him

For example, a reasonable adjustment could be:

• Having the questions provided on paper in front of him

I don’t think breaks should be removed from children. They need that rest period and down time. I wouldn’t treat one of my team at work in that way and remove their break

Op I feel sorry for him and I think you need a diagnosis because there will always be teachers who don’t agree with you. I had years of my child being criticised and punished for this sort of thing.

The teacher already knows he might have adhd but chose to wipe the questions off the board without asking whether all the kids had written them down.

Kids with adhd may be 25% less mature than neurotypical so he shouldn’t be judged on the ‘typical’ child in has age group but one or two years younger.

Who would teach these days, no wonder they are leaving in droves, he is 9 and needs to speak up. Her response was completely fine.

Plus the ADHD is for you to seek a diagnosis which begins with speaking to a Dr either NHS or private. Just because people forget stuff doesn’t automatically make them need a diagnosis.Having to go on in at children all the time is the parents job and why it can be tiring and isn’t easy.

It’s 5 mins ! You’ve literally took the time to come on here about 5 mins of a lost break. Your son will be fine poor little darling. You’d best toughen up for the ride that is secondary school.

It is 5 mins of his break. It is completely normal for children to sometimes finish off their work for a few minutes before heading out to break. Some of them are told to quickly finish it off and some of them ask if they can stay and do it. It really isn't a big deal. Sometimes they get an extra 5mins of break and that isn't a big deal either.

He lost 5 minutes of break time. You've probably lost more time over this non-issue.
Forgetting books and homework is quite normal behaviour for young boys. I doubt he has ADHD but he has that parent.

If you believe he has ADHD, get him assessed and get a proper diagnosis so the school can put proper support in place. Imagine if every parent came in saying I think my child has XYZ without actually having a professional diagnosis and they expected special treatment. It’s just not reasonable.

This isn't why teachers are leaving ffs. Children need to ask for help but teachers also need to continue to understand that children can find that difficult to do. Its fundamental.

It was very common in my school if you hadn't finished something particularly a test you carried on into break or possibly got a detention to finish it if they thought you weren't working hard.

I agree with this. Putting the onus on a 9 year old to always be able to have the confidence to articulate they're struggling or don't understand something isn't appropriate. And losing your break for that is punitive on that context.

He didn't lose his break, he lost 5 mins!

Get a grip, perhaps next time he will raise the issue that he is struggling.

But his break is before lunch, he lost part of his break because he should have been doing the work and didn't complete it. He is 9, he knows how this works.

Completed it before lunch means that he possibly took time away from something else like reading as it is important to complete maths work. Maths is a building block subject, you need the foundations of what you are learning to build on it the next day. They need to finish the work before break as instructed as he will just fall behind.

The school day is really tight and this is why I never allowed my children do have music lessons in school as they miss core subject time. Mornings are core subjects so in the school I was in, maths, English and 30 minutes of reading.

Maybe your son has a history of messing around and cutting it fine for finishing work. To everyone saying shitty teachers, have you volunteered your time to work in a classroom? Until you have been in one, you don't know how difficult it can be to keep children on task.

I used to work with the low ability children, keep them on task, guide them where needed. They all tried really hard to do the work. Luckily I had a spare table that could accommodate them for a short time. Most classrooms do not have the extra room to separate children out and it is preferred that they work on mixed ability tables.

Your son has now learned that if he is struggling he needs to ask for help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, you can model this at home by asking for help with things and point it out when you do it.