Thought on this? DS school situation..

[Miserablelittlesoul]

DS (9) lost 5 minutes off his break yesterday because he didn’t complete his work in time. He said his teacher wrote the questions on the board and he didn’t get to write them down in time before she had wiped them off. He didn’t tell her that he didn’t get the questions down in time. He eventually got the remaining questions from his friend and completed the work but still lost his break. He said the questions were difficult and he was stuck working them out. I should add I believe my son has adhd like me so I’m fully aware he may be struggling and not using his voice when he needs to be.

My concern is she didn’t ask him why he didn’t manage to complete it she just took his book away from him and didn’t ask no further questions.

Then the 5 minutes he lost in break she still didn’t address it with him?

this is the response I’ve had from her

Hi, no he did not tell me or the other adults in class that he was struggling. If he had, we would have given him the support he needed. I will pick this up with him today or tomorrow and find out which question he was struggling with. By the end of the lesson, he had actually completed the flashback which was the work I was talking about. Thanks for letting me know.

DH feels like she is fobbing us off, I hate confrontation but I’m fully aware I need to be supporting my son.

Thoughts please

Can you perform ALL tasks at the same speed as everyone else? If I asked you to do what I do, build a wall, and as a trainee, you didn’t build it at the speed I think you should, shall I just take away your break bit by bit until you complete it? Serve you right for ‘messing about or procrastinating’.

Shocker - but not every single child you’ll ever come across will work at the same speed.

Surely the simple thing would be for teacher to check everyone had got the questions written down before she cleaned the board.

You weren't there, teacher was. Let it go, stop being a PITA and stop trying to tell the teacher how to do their job. Teacher has better things to do than deal with your moaning about 5 mins of break time FFS.

I think in the nicest way possible this isn't a big deal.
If your sons teacher doesn't think he has ADHD then it may be that he does not. Or it could be that he does , but I don't think this is so relevant.

If at all possible it would be best for you to concentrate your efforts on working with your child's teacher and your child as a team. That will instil confidence and an ability to listen and negotiate in different situations for your son.
I completely appreciate a need to be child focused , thats fair. But I do feel for teachers. Too much of their time and energy is now channelled into dealing with parents and that is just not constructive.

This post is EXACTLY why I would never return to teaching. The ridiculousness of it!

And doing absolutely no favours to the child at all.

Get a grip, that was a great response. Fobbed off! It was 5 minutes, followed by an appropriate teacher communication. I can only imagine that this is the start of you being an absolute nightmare.

Then it needs some discussion which is exactly what the teacher has offered.

What other ADHD symptoms does he have?

Then it's helpful that the break time allows for a bit of catching up time, isn't it?

if they got it wrong he would rub the board rubber over your face. If you got another wrong you had to stand in the bin in the corner. He’d throw a drawing pin at anyone who talked.

This did make me laugh!

I’m not sure that this is what I’d advocate but surely there is a happy medium between this and parents being up in arms because their little darling (who most likely has form for twatting about) has missed 5 MINUTES of break time, and the parent feels “fobbed off”, I assume because the school hasn’t started a full scale investigation/ referred themselves to Ofsted/ sacked the teacher without notice…

Honestly, parents who are like this do their kids no favours at all. Plus the kid has probably learnt a lesson and moved on whilst the parent is still up in arms.

Was he struggling or faffing about chatting, sharpening his pencils, looking out the window before getting on with his work?

I’m really shocked so many people support the teacher here. Whether he has ADHD or whether he’s just struggling with the work is irrelevant tbh. She’s punished him for not being as smart as the rest of the class (in this task). It’s totally unacceptable.

If he’d been messing about and that was the reason for the punishment, she would have said in the email. And “I’ll talk to him today…” really sounds like she’ll be telling him off for speaking to you about it.

If teachers are “leaving the profession in droves” because they’re unable to notice and support struggling pupils, then they are bad at their jobs and good riddance frankly.

Also the people on this thread saying “he doesn’t have ADHD so he deserves punishing” are probably the exact same people that moan “everyone wants a diagnosis”. No wonder people want official diagnoses for their kids if that is the only way kids actually get support.

OP - do your son a favour and teach him to respect the teacher and to get on with things. He shouldn't be complaining to you about every tiny incident, and you should keep out of this kind of thing. Don't get involved unless it appears to be something serious. This kind of everyday incident is just part of growing up and not always being under your mother's wing.
Can you imagine being a teacher if every parent got worked up and made a big fuss over every tiny little issue that arises during a school day? Let the poor woman do her job, for the benefit of your son and others.
If he's complained to you about this and expects you to do something about it, that suggests that you're teaching him to be an entitled complainer. That will do him no favours in life. You should be talking to him about his responsibility - eg to try to work a bit faster if he doesn't want to miss any break. Making everything someone else's fault will not help him.

Hmmm... I had a similar situation but my child is only 5 and in Year 1. I would be very concerned if my child didn't do his work or listen to the teacher at 9 years old. Being this age, he should raise his hand and tell the teacher if he struggled. Kids are being taught to do this in Early Years.

My ds was always forgetting stuff, not getting tasks completed on time etc. He is dyslexic, with a little adhd thrown in, and he was inclined to chat, faff, and daydream, so if he was told to stay behind for 5 mins I wouldn't have a problem with it, if that's what it takes thats what it takes. Now that he is finished school he manages to get to work on time and complete tasks and no longer forgets his jacket, keys or coat. I think the teachers response was very reasonable, and your son needs to be encouraged to ask for help or extra time when needed, and if he misses a few minutes of break to catch up so be it. If you think he has adhd, are you pursuing a diagnosis?

100% this.

Also, 95% of the time students don’t get an easy, straightforward task completed, it’s because they are chatting, distracting themselves and others, deliberately procrastinating or pissing about. Teachers can almost always tell the difference between a struggling student (SEN or non-SEN) and a student who’s just not doing it. So many children use the “I didn’t have enough time/I was struggling to understand” as a get out of free card because it absolves them of all responsibility.

So many children who are slow writers or take a disproportionately longer time to do tasks, don’t understand they don’t have the luxury of yapping before or during a task before in order to get it done because they are slower so can’t afford to waste time. Children who have fast processing speeds and fast writing skills do have this luxury. They can afford to yap. For slower or struggling SEND students, the yapping should come post-task, not pre. They need to understand this trade-off.

Also, this growing sentiment amongst some people that SEND students can’t be lazy, naturally low ability, nasty, a bully, misbehaved, make deliberately poor choices or do things wrong out of conscious choice so they should never be held accountable or reprimanded (however minor and insignificantly) for anything ever is utterly bizarre and baseless. Both neurodivergent and neurotypical people are capable of all the above!

Oh fgs. Please leave this go.

You'd end with nearly all parents requesting a diagnosis.

Well, this is it. I know schools used to be like that at one time, but thought the teaching profession may have moved on somewhat in 50 years. It seemed like they had, but then things have gone backwards in the last 15 years or so.

Is this is a one off then I would let it go, you’ve already spoken to your DS and the teacher. If it becomes a pattern then I would raise the concerns with the SENCo as it sounds like your son needs some support. Teacher are humans and managing 30 children so don’t always get it right, but this is fairly minor IMO.

Break. Time. Clues in the name.

Another reason he may be struggling is hearing and eyesight. Has he had a recent check on these.

Ask the teacher to provide him with the questions on a sheet of paper or a writing frame. She needs to differentiate for him rather than punish him.

Sadly for the teacher, I doubt this is just the start.