Thought on this? DS school situation..

[Miserablelittlesoul]

DS (9) lost 5 minutes off his break yesterday because he didn’t complete his work in time. He said his teacher wrote the questions on the board and he didn’t get to write them down in time before she had wiped them off. He didn’t tell her that he didn’t get the questions down in time. He eventually got the remaining questions from his friend and completed the work but still lost his break. He said the questions were difficult and he was stuck working them out. I should add I believe my son has adhd like me so I’m fully aware he may be struggling and not using his voice when he needs to be.

My concern is she didn’t ask him why he didn’t manage to complete it she just took his book away from him and didn’t ask no further questions.

Then the 5 minutes he lost in break she still didn’t address it with him?

this is the response I’ve had from her

Hi, no he did not tell me or the other adults in class that he was struggling. If he had, we would have given him the support he needed. I will pick this up with him today or tomorrow and find out which question he was struggling with. By the end of the lesson, he had actually completed the flashback which was the work I was talking about. Thanks for letting me know.

DH feels like she is fobbing us off, I hate confrontation but I’m fully aware I need to be supporting my son.

Thoughts please

You are describing most 9 yo boys my son was and still is exactly the same. However, what 9yo doesn’t need to be told to do homework or to bring their reading books home. I would often send mine back in to retrieve forgotten items. They hated this so much as it meant they missed walking down the road with their mates.

as for missing the work assuming all the other 29 kids managed to finish it he must have not been doing what he was asked. He wouldn’t be the only child who has some neuro diverse traits. You can’t expect the teachers to treat him like he has something he hasn’t been diagnosed with especially when they can’t see it themselves. You think you’re being fobbed off but all I see is a witch hunt to get this teacher in trouble for doing her job. If she didn’t care then she wouldn’t spend 5 minutes of her own break trying to teach your son the importance of doing his work and she has had no thanks for it

So it was five minutes for not copying off the board in the time that presumably everyone else managed to? Because it wasn't for not completing his work as he did complete his work. So it's not about him needing help to complete work.

He presumably had the amaze time as his peers to copy the thing off the board. Not copying off the board in time is typically something that happens when a child is not listening to instructions or willfully ignoring them, daydreaming or talking. Some children do find it harder or are slower than others but the teacher knows this and will make accommodations for it. If the teacher had left him to copy for longer, the whole class would have been held back because she couldn't use the board to teach the next thing.

A 9-year-old without significant SEN needs to take basic accountability for his actions. One way to learn that is through a consequence. I prefer natural consequences when possible but for something like this, the natural consequence is not learning/working, so is not an option. Therefore the teacher gave him a 5 minute break time "detention". This seems reasonable and proportionate to me. He still had most of his breaktime.

Making a big deal over five minutes is a waste of everyone's energy.

I don't think that the punishment was reasonable. Not all children will copy the questions from the board at the same pace. Yes he does need to learn to speak up for himself. However not all 9 year olds are good at speaking up when they need help. I didn't speak up much when i was 9 as i was worried about drawing attention to myself. I grew in confidence at secondary school.

I have to assume you are either joking to prove how ridiculous this complaint is, or have misunderstood the acts of Nazis.

If I remember correctly, children were killed by the Nazis rather than given five fewer minutes of free play with their friends.

I half agree with you, yes I think parents should put things in place as a first step, but in my experience teachers really like to know about what's going on at home and any concerns so they can support from their side. We have had great results from working with the class teacher on impending issues, meaning that stress levels have been reduced, making the rest of the day go better.

It's 5minutes. WHAT is the matter with you?

I think you are effectively arguing that reasonable adjustments are somehow unreasonable!

Reasonable adjustments means something that is reasonable for the teacher, class and situation, so having a teacher follow one child around would be almost certainly not a reasonable adjustment. And an adjustment that unreasonably impacts other children would definitely be a no go.

Ideally all children would be able to learn effectively without a 1:1, but for some, they really do need someone constantly prompting them. , I would have thought a reasonable adjustment here could even be as simple as having a cue card sticky back plasticed to his desk reminding him what to pack, or a rhyme to sing in his head, and maybe a reminder 5 minutes before the end of class for the transition. But that's what people involved need to work out.

Flippin heck, this is why teaching is a nightmare. The teacher kept your son back to get something finished that he needed to finish. She then had to justify herself to you, which she did very politely. And you’re still griping about it.

Many "reasonable adjustments" are unreasonable on the teacher. They forget there is one teacher in the room. It's a huge problem in mainstream classrooms.

Ok fair enough I wasn't aware of that, that isn't how it works in my very limited experience, our school is very good at working out what's reasonable and they don't do things if they aren't

FIVE MINUTES to catch up with the work. Which he needed to do so as not to fall behind. Wtf is wrong with people?

Clearly you don’t have ADHD. It’s not drivel to the kids or the parents.

Get him formally assessed and (presumably) diagnosed so that his needs can be recognised. Lots of kids go under the radar and it affects their self esteem badly, making it hard for them to 'use their voice'. Even if you have to give up on a holiday to go private it's worth it if you have serious concerns. The longer you delay the longer these kids suffer at school. Trust me, I've been there.

This kid isn't even diagnosed or on a pathway 🙄

Doesn’t mean they don’t have it. The parent says she has it and suspects son has it. As someone who went through school with undiagnosed ADHD you do not want to draw attention to yourself taking longer to take something down from the whiteboard. You already feel like a failure.

Only 5 minutes break time lost? He’s a lucky boy.

You do realise lots of children (and adults) are diagnosed after the age of 9?

OP - trust your instincts & speak to the SENCO about concerns you have.

It's actually pretty standard,OP.

@Miserablelittlesoul sounds like this incident isn’t the issue, rather the issue is that you are concerned about adhd more broadly? How is the school at SEN generally? Could you ask the contact for a meeting if you are concerned? The sooner the better before secondary and as the waiting lists are long, and there are supply issues with medication adding to delays, it may take a couple of years.

I am not going to say previous posters are wrong as I know times changes and areas vary in policy but where I live the process is not through the GP, and it unwise to go private as the diagnosis won’t be recognised by school AND the GP’s won’t prescribe. In my area the route is via school
so You need to persist with school and contact the SEN support.

my child had a myriad of symptoms that were continuously mentioned year on year by school but when I queried whether they put my child outside normal parameters, I was fobbed off every time. A few things moved things on, one being the school being downgraded by Ofsted with one major factor being poor to non-existence SEN provision and the other being a supply teacher who stayed a term and said my child showed a range of behaviours she believed were indicative. Getting seen took 2 years plus a further wait for medication to become available, which took us into secondary school. The diagnosis and medication have been transformative. I was actually pretty relieved to make the move to secondary and get away from primary!

um. Mine is. It’s about 2 months to get an appointment with the initial doctors, then they refer you to paediatrician over one year wait, who does the first assessment, tthen they forward you on to step 2 which is 4 years. 6 years total and growing. It means that my dd won’t get hers as it wasn’t picked up till about 13 so she’ll be kicked off the list at 18.

Oh goodness, I’ve just seen @MyCottageGarden’s other stupid comment. I shouldn’t have bothered responding in good faith.

Yes, it is perfectly feasible to wait that long. There is a delay to get an initial appointment to go through the forms and see the child. Then there’s a further delay to get medication due to supply issues. In my area, you can’t pass to the stage of being considered for medication if there are insufficient supplies. Year 10 pupils are prioritised. We were lucky and benefited from 2 cancellations we got at short notice and were able to attend. Hopefully your DD will have something similar happen for her so she won’t age out of the list and can benefit during key years of her education.

He hasn’t been diagnosed and the teacher doesn’t see any neuro diverse traits. All the things the op listed that make her think he has is all thing typical of a 9yo boy. Instead of tackling this excuses has been made by the parents instead. The teacher will almost certainly tell the class to get their book bags and lunch bags before they sit down waiting for their names to be called so they can go home. My son was very much like this lad. Forgetting his things, losing them and daydreaming. So I would do reward charts and put in consequences. He lost his shoes just before his birthday. When receiving money of grandparents I told him he owed me £30 to replace them. He soon went in that school and found those shoes which he hadn’t been able to for the previous 3 days and he got his money back. He was more careful not to lose things after

There was a thread a short time ago about white working class boys and their lack of progress compared to other demographics. I'd be interested to know what demographic the OP fits into.
I'd also be interested to see a breakdown of the race/sex demographics of children who are deemed ADHD, school refusers, etc.

This is fantastic - bravo!