To wonder if "kids don't get any easier" is just selective memory

[Octagonchecker]

I'm in the thick of it with little kids so my view may be coloured but...when I ask people when it gets easier they say "when they're about 30!" Or "they don't get easier, they just have different problems". I'm struggling to imagine this right now honestly. I can't relax and start doing anything leisure-wise in the evening because there's a strong chance my toddler will wake up. I don't sleep more than 5 broken hours most nights. I spend every meal time getting up and down, I never get to eat a meal in one go. I spend every moment I'm with my toddler monitoring his safety in some way. We have no family nearby so me and DH can't go anywhere or do anything without the kids. How can older kids be harder than this!? Surely being able to tend to your basic physical needs makes a massive difference??

For me I find It gets so much easier but I guess it depends on what aspects you find difficult.
being overstimulated and constantly negotiating with tiny screaming people and not feeling like I was even a separate person at all was the hardest thing I've ever had to do- older kid/pre teen issues so far haven't been so difficult to handle because I can get a moment to think at least.
however some people are perhaps more easy going by nature and don't find the toddler years so hard but might struggle a lot more with the worry of the more complex issues older children have.

but frankly I'd rather deal with almost anything than being screamed at by a tiny dictator in the supermarket

I've got AuDHD twins, whom I've raised by myself since they were 6 months old and things started getting MUCH better once they were at school (no disrespect to my DC, but it could be pretty hell-ish during the early years with zero support!).
It bloody did get easier and life as a parent is pretty great these days.