To report colleague who offered to buy my underwear

[Colleagueissue26]

NC for obvious reasons!

Work night out the weekend before last. There was a drunken/joking conversation between several of us about onlyfans. Consensus that no one would go the full way on there but selling clothing would be an acceptable way to make money. All lighthearted discussion of course.

One of the (male) colleagues involved in the discussion was on holiday last week.

At the weekend, I received a late night DM on social media from him along the lines of ‘if you were being serious about selling your underwear, I don’t mind paying. Our secret’

I ignored it. The next morning, he messaged to apologise and said his friend stole his phone and sent it as a dare.

I don’t believe him for a second.

Would you report to HR? He is younger, early 20’s.

I wouldn’t report him but I would bloc
him on social media.

He apologised. I’d leave it at that.

Don't report.

I would leave it for now too, as long as that’s the end of that with the apology. If he keeps it up then you could take it further. Just seems like silliness and based off your conversations not just random creepiness.

I'm male. Report, sorry completely unacceptable to even ask.

Very poor behaviour from your colleague. Please don't tell HR. He probably feels foolish and is young enough to learn. What you do need to do is let him know you do not want to receive messages of a sexual nature from him ever again. Then, if he contacts you again, it will be sexual harrassment as you will have made clear the attention is unwanted.

I’d tell him that you could report him for that. It was unacceptable and sleazy as fuck

Don't be a weasel.

Report.

Let HR deal with it and whether it was really him or messaged or not. He should get better friends and look after his phone better. Most lock pretty quickly...

Might be on my own here but I would say thats more likely to be his mates messing around sending messages from each others phones so would be inclined to believe him. Lads can be brutal with each other

No sorry. It's 2026 not 1976. It's common knowledge that certain behaviour is not acceptable. My god I would have asked that of a colleague without immediate qualification that I was joking in my early 20s.

What about the next woman when there's no consequence for his sleazy behaviour

Wow, I wouldn’t hesitate to report that together with screenshots 🤯.

very very surprised to see I’m in the minority here.

How would a mate know what he was talking to his work colleagues about?

Strange

There is/was another thread running today about a colleague wanting to borrow their colleague’s daughter’s underwear.

If you choose not to report it, keep it as a record in case there are any future instances of unacceptable conduct.

Well, he could also report you/whoever started the conversation on the work night out for sexual harassment, couldn't he? His question was wildly inappropriate but so was the whole conversation in a work setting!

Stop talking about doing OnlyFans with your work colleagues, FFS.

And no, don't report him, because you look equally as inappropriate for suggesting it to other colleagues.

He has been a Wally, he has apologized, he hasn't done it again.

He is a young lad who has made a silly and drunken error.

If the OP wanted she could mark his card and say "sending stuff like that could lose you your job, please don't even send me anything like that again."

But don't get a young bloke sacked.

Agree. Report the fuck out of him. Totally unacceptable workplace harassment.

Were you involved with the conversation and saying joking or not that you would sell your underwear?

He drunkenly took it a step too far and has apologised. I would leave it at that but keep the message in case any further incidents occur.

How would his mates know who said what on a works night out 2 weeks ago.

I wouldn’t report but equally I wouldn’t have drunken conversations about how far I would go on onlyfans with my work colleagues.

If it had come out of nowhere, obviously report. However, you’ve all been having a conversation about selling your underwear, and agreeing it’s acceptable to many of you etc.

It was an inappropriate message, but it was also an inappropriate conversation. Put it down to experience and don’t blur sexual lines between colleagues in the future.

I'd avoid the drunken sexualised conversations in a work context in future.

In my experience - though many moons ago now - the drunken conversations about sex were often the preliminary to the drunken sex. It is certainly blurring the work/life boundary to a degree which is proabably unwise.

Bad behaviour, certainly, but surely at a level that OP can stand up for herself rather than involving HR (mummy).