To report colleague who offered to buy my underwear

[Colleagueissue26]

NC for obvious reasons!

Work night out the weekend before last. There was a drunken/joking conversation between several of us about onlyfans. Consensus that no one would go the full way on there but selling clothing would be an acceptable way to make money. All lighthearted discussion of course.

One of the (male) colleagues involved in the discussion was on holiday last week.

At the weekend, I received a late night DM on social media from him along the lines of ‘if you were being serious about selling your underwear, I don’t mind paying. Our secret’

I ignored it. The next morning, he messaged to apologise and said his friend stole his phone and sent it as a dare.

I don’t believe him for a second.

Would you report to HR? He is younger, early 20’s.

What is it with weird, pervy underwear threads today?

I’d not report him, no.

How much was he offering?

It’s interesting to have a male perspective imv

I wouldn't go to HR, mostly because I'd be mortified to have to tell them I'd been drunkenly chatting with junior colleagues about selling my underwear on OF!

If its ok to drunkenly say it amongst colleagues then you can't really complain when one of those colleagues drunkenly makes another remark on the same topic. It doesn't sound like you feel particularly harassed by his messge so I wouldn't escalate to HR on this occasion but I would make him aware it was inappropriate/ misjudged to send that as a 1:1 message.

He might have taken this too.far but tbh having conversations with your work colleagues about Only Fans and deciding selling underwear on there is an ok thing to do sounds pretty inappropriate to me.
Smacks rather of double standards.

Why would you report him? Surely as an adult you are capable of dealing with this yourself? Have you never said anything a bit over the top when you’ve been drunk?

I’ve never messaged a colleague offering to pay money for their worn underwear, no.

This can’t be real. Definitely a wind up.

OP wouldn’t be getting him sacked. He or his friends would be getting him sacked. If OP reports it, whether he has a job by this time next week or not is not her responsibility nor her problem. If it’s all innocent he won’t mind explaining that to HR. And if it’s his friends he should know what they are capable of and change them.

Plus………I’m a massive technophobe. If I can work out how to lock a phone then any old fool can.

I’m on the fence, firstly it’s highly implausible someone stole his phone who he had told all about it, found you as a contact and texted you. I would say he was likely drunk and had major regrets the next day.

it wasn’t all good from you either as it seems you were telling your colleagues you’d sell your under wear on only fans

on balance I’d let it go. As it’s embarrassing for you to say well I was telling him I wanted to sell my undies on only fans and the fucker offered to buy them. I mean it’s not great is it,

No I wouldn't do anything it was a joke when you said you'd sell it. Move on he could report you to HR for running another business alongside your job

I wouldn’t need to relay that detail though - nothing was documented in terms of that conversation. I would frame it as an unsolicited message looking to exchange money for sexual favours. Which is documented.

You opened the door to this participating in the conversation. Lesson learnt.

But she needs to say it wasn’t random, she was telling him she was going to sell her undies on only fans, all that’s happened is he offered to buy it.

What about if you were asked in an investigation. Would you lie?

Absolutely this. ^ Gobsmacked at the responses and poll result. I would absolutely report. His mate sent it 'for a laugh' Yeah right!

Keep the message and screenshot it @Colleagueissue26 Report him.

Please don't tell HR. You will look foolish. Please deal with it yourself. It's not difficult.

Yeah that’s shitty, making it something that it is not. And was there no witnesses.

lying and saying it was some random thing is not ok; and quite frankly his message makes it clear you saud you wished to do this.

‘Mummy’?

HR are there for a reason.

Why on EARTH will she look foolish?!

Enough of the playing down already!

Report him @Colleagueissue26 !

But that would be a lie

Well that's a bit low, isn't it?
He is very much out of order, and reportable. But the context is significant.
A fair compromise would be to give him a firm warning yourself, and avoid having conversations about selling used underwear with your colleagues.

Because he clearly thought she was serious she wants to sell them,

Weasel?

What is going on with this thread? Very strange answers.

Report him