To think some people on here make too many excuses for parents feeding their kids unhealthy food to the point they become overweight or even obese?

[Giselle374]

I know a lot people are in really difficult situations financially, and the country overall has become harder and harder due to COL.

But I feel uneasy with the way some posts on this seem to imply that being in a hard financial position means unhealthy food almost can't be avoided.

People usually choose to have children, and food is a basic thing. If you didn't wash your child, or clothe them as best as you could, would that be similarly excusable? Arguably food is more important than many other potential areas since cancer and other illnesses are a very real danger if kids are overweight or obese young.

My mother had financial difficulties when I was young: she was a single parent and on minimum wage, and she hated cooking, ate very badly before I was born. But she ensured her meals (porridge, fish, eggs, veg based mostly) were healthy even if they were plain. I was barely ever allowed sugary or processed food. That's one of the things I'm most grateful for.

I do understand families in a depressing situation with few things for the kids to enjoy use food as something enjoyable sometimes
..areas need more resources, green space, libraries etc .

This isn't to deny the challenges of feeding kids healthily. But I think some posts on here lean too far to taking responsibility from the parents,,and I don't think that's helpful.

I don't think overweight children is always due to lack of funds.. although often that is a factor it is a much more complex problem. I see overweight children of obviously middle class parents, often they are children with overweight parents. Many things combine to cause it
Exhausted parents both working full time,
Children not being active enough
Parents over compensating for no time with food treats, equating food with love
Adverts, social media
An unhealthy obsession with food everywhere and I include the health gurus here too who say all carbs/sugar should be banned as it think that just leads to children feeling they are missing out . Food shouldn't be classed as good or bad
People don't become obese overnight it happens over a long time and often by the time someone realises it's very difficult to deal with. Some parents find it easier to ignore than tackle it.
Parents need support to understand what is happening and why not criticism or blame because that won't help the children.

My grandchildren are always starving at the school gate and I always give them snacks when I pick them up.
They are extremely active sporty children and not overweight at all.
Eating healthily doesn't mean giving them too few calories or leaving them feeling hungry.

I am not going to do anything about my chunky DS. He plays sports, enjoys playing outdoors. He has been on the 99 percentile since birth. His Dad is 6ft 3. He isn’t well and his head is massive, off the scale well over 100, nothing to do with food, he’s 8 inches taller than his peers, so the meaty body helps his head size less obvious. I’m just going to love him.

People are very quick to make excuses to cover up for the fact they are too lazy to cook from scratch or at least half from scratch (eg make it easier with frozen cut onions or packet rice)

Yes I agree with this. I take my daughter a snack for after school because 1) she is at a sports club until 5pm every day and is absolutely starving by then and 2) it takes us 40 minutes to get home, and then I still have to cook dinner. She does 10 hours of fairly intense sport training every week and a match on a Saturday (plus normal activities for a 10 year old like riding her bike, swimming etc), so she needs the calories. She is on the lower side of a healthy weight.

Really agree with this. We only ever have Greek yoghurt in, our 2 and 4 year old love it because they don’t know that sugary, processed flavoured yoghurts exist. We have a filled fruit bowl for snacks and if they don’t eat their dinner the only other option then is a banana or apple! Instead of crisps we have breadsticks (which are actually really cheap!) and I make hummus. They’ve only ever had water or milk as a drink. We try and eliminate ultra processed foods as much as possible from our house and that definitely does help us all to be more healthy overall.

Obviously at childrens parties etc I’d never stop them eating the same as the others, I have to relax it a little when with grandparents, and in summer if we’re out they have an ice cream occasionally. I just don’t want them getting addicted to sugar so early in life when I can somewhat control their diets.

But by chunky you mean overweight? How is his weight in proportion to his height? Taller children should be heavier but they should still be in proportion. Loving your child means doing the best you can for them, not just burying your head in the sand.

I am not burying my head in the sand. He wants to eat all the time, if I was burying my head he’d have 10 meals per day, not 4 meals.?

He is overweight but in proportion, that is the point, he has broad shoulders and a huge head, size 7 feet, he’s 11, he’s 5,3 and 8 stone 6.
He’s always been bigger.
I’m 5,2 weighing 7.6 . I look very slim, he’s an inch taller, a stone heavier and looks really chunky. His legs and arms are big. He’s like a block.

I'll put a different view. My eldest was overweight at his year 6 check at school by the school nurse. We got a letter about it.

We dont drink sugary drinks, cola etc, We dont eat sweets, all snacks were fruit, veg or bread. Meals were nutritionally balanced. We had fast food once or twice a year. He just ate a lot of what was offered. I was nervous to say no to him being hungry.

Anyway we rang the number on the letter where you get advice as actually weight loss advice for children is different to adults. Noone picked up ever, no call back. Nothing. Rang several times.

I went to the gp in the end. The gp said he looked fine to him and what a nonsense the letter was and within a few months he would grow taller due to puberty.

Anyway the gp was right he did shoot up and is not overweight at 18. In fact at 16 he had a patch where he was fainting and the gp said feed him much more carbs.

But the point of this isnt to suggest that all these children will get taller. Its to highlight that you cant actually access advice if you do want it that easily. Most weight loss and healthy diet advice is for adults, not growing children. The school nurse team just tell you your chikd is overweight but doesnt follow up with help and advice .

Yes, nowhere says eat crap all day so thats an easy win. but it possible to be overweight on sensible food too. Shame hasn't worked so far in my lifetime so we need to back up with some actual support.

What’s his bmi? What age is he? If he’s overweight according to bmi and not due a growth spurt then you need to do more to make sure that he is a healthy weight. It’s your job as a parent.

Overweight category 93 centile.
Just checked, so he’s a bit lighter after his recent growth sport, he was at 98 on his last hospital visit.
I am not going to be able to control his intake as he gets older. He adores food.

It’s rarely genetics it’s learnt behaviour.

DS ex GF was on the slightly chunky side, not obese but pleasantly plump as my Mother would have said when she was being nice about it which was rare. As we had a bigger house she ended up partially living with us for 2 years. She would stay 3 nights a week, she lost quite a bit of weight as eating with us. DS described the portion sizes at her parents house, huge.

There is just too much snacking overall,

Apparently I shouldn't have told my adult DC that he's overweight and going on a bad path. I shouldn't have commented on his unhealthy snacking and eating habits.

What actually happened was after a while he realised what was going wrong. Started dieting and exercising and has lost weight.

Right, that’s why you need to educate him and set him up with good habits now, not just seemingly admit defeat and not even bother.

DS's BMI was 28 and he was shocked when we did the checkup and realised he had to change.

He's made steady progress on weight loss now and is feeling better about himself.

Why would you do that? 🤔It's a valid discussion and more importantly it's still here for debate.

My son is 9 years old, 4ft11 and in 13-14 clothes. The kid is huge.

He’s in early puberty, and has been for over a year, and until very recently would throw a plate of veg at a wall before considering eating it, and would sooner starve than eat fruit.

He does have food fixation and disordered eating. He’s also very autistic, pre verbal, and is as stubborn as a mule. Get that kids dinner wrong, and he’s not eating for at least 24hrs. Present him with something else he doesn’t seem as safe, that 24hrs is becoming 48hrs.

He didn’t eat for a whole weekend a few months back, because the bread we’d given him was the wrong brand.

If the only thing he will eat is a sandwich otherwise he genuinely won’t eat, pardon me for giving him a cheese sandwich.

The last month he has lost weight, because we’re fighting a difficult daily battle on snacks, but we do have to “bend” on some areas of his nutrition, otherwise we’d have to let him starve. Which I’m lead to believe is also bad.

I assume that when you say not well there are other issues at play here. But this isn’t really about individuals defending their particular circumstances (ARFID etc.). It’s also clear that many peoples dietary provision for their children borders on neglect.
The statistics are irrefutable and it’s not just the Uk it’s global, and rising. The success of the smoking lobby and ban gives me some hope that significant change can happen. I guess just like smoking the battle is in part with global capitalist interests - tobacco firms, now upf manufacturers, the international fast food industry. The other part is about public perception and education and how we can be not overly paternalistic but protect the children in our society who are being mistreated. (As well as addressing structural inequalities as much as possible)

That sounds really tough but the vast majority of overweight children do not have any special needs.

I was born in 1950, I had ration books. People were a lot slimmer.. women had 22 inch waists..look at a size 12 in a vintage shop, probably a size 8 today. There was just one slightly overweight man Percy,a slightly overweight son who was in my class. Experts say the ration diet was the best, just enough of everything. Veg not on ration.. "Time poor",my late DM worked,none of the labour saving devices of today. I got married in 1970, I had a mangle.With 2 dks I had a spin dryer,no washing machine. I worked ft, eventually having 4 dks. Mil is a "feeder", overweight but it's her big bones. If it's genetics, when did they kick in! Look at the pictures from the Concentration Camps, Japanese POW. one meal of rice and water as day.

I agree OP. It’s the patronising middle-class liberal brigade, they say stuff like, “it’s down to a generational and systemic lack of education in the working classes, they need our support, not our judgment. It’s not their fault they don’t know that a Big Mac is less healthy than an apple. They’ve never had the opportunity to learn” 🤣🤣. It’s all total bollocks. I’m working class, my kids are a healthy weight. I don’t often cook from scratch, dinner is often fish fingers and frozen veg but I know what’s healthy and what isn’t because I live in society just like everyone else. I try and feed my kids healthy food as much as I can and yeah fresh fruit & veggies is more expensive but that doesn’t mean my kids are gonna become obese because I can’t afford fresh fruit & veg! You can buy frozen, you can buy none, you can even feed your kids crap, as long as it’s a normal amount of crap, they’re not going to become obese! It actually costs more to make them obese because you have to buy more sweets and chocolate and takeaways! Childhood obesity is down to bad parenting not poverty. It’s the parents who can’t say no to their kid, who will keep the house stocked with biscuits & crisps that they have free rein over, the parents who will buy them that second ice cream just cos they ask. Those are the kids that are gonna become obese. And that, ironically means you have to spend MORE money

Letting your child become obese is neglect in the same way as starving a child

I can’t work this out, are you suggesting that we feed our children as if it’s war time, or pretend they’re prisoners of war?

£8 for the family. Nobody needs a whole pizza to themselves. A portion is half, generally.

Generally this kind of thinking is directed at the underclass… not the working class.