To think some people on here make too many excuses for parents feeding their kids unhealthy food to the point they become overweight or even obese?

[Giselle374]

I know a lot people are in really difficult situations financially, and the country overall has become harder and harder due to COL.

But I feel uneasy with the way some posts on this seem to imply that being in a hard financial position means unhealthy food almost can't be avoided.

People usually choose to have children, and food is a basic thing. If you didn't wash your child, or clothe them as best as you could, would that be similarly excusable? Arguably food is more important than many other potential areas since cancer and other illnesses are a very real danger if kids are overweight or obese young.

My mother had financial difficulties when I was young: she was a single parent and on minimum wage, and she hated cooking, ate very badly before I was born. But she ensured her meals (porridge, fish, eggs, veg based mostly) were healthy even if they were plain. I was barely ever allowed sugary or processed food. That's one of the things I'm most grateful for.

I do understand families in a depressing situation with few things for the kids to enjoy use food as something enjoyable sometimes
..areas need more resources, green space, libraries etc .

This isn't to deny the challenges of feeding kids healthily. But I think some posts on here lean too far to taking responsibility from the parents,,and I don't think that's helpful.

I’m guessing your son has no responsibility here though? Why doesn’t he do something if it’s as dire as you claim?

That's true. My DM had a lot of stress in her life and would eat poorly herself in bouts...she stayed naturally slim but it affected her health in other ways.

I thought she was talking about her DD's child...maybe the father is not around?

It could of course be a DS too..

I agree poor diet affects all sizes of kids and must be tackled but being overweight or obese pose extra risks on top of that.

Yep, I was very slim in my 20s but I think my poor diet contributed to some periods of burn out and chronic fatigue I experienced in my early 30s.

I really wish I’d eaten healthier but I too was stressed out and not alway in the best living situation eg. Having to prepare meals in a busy and messy Shared kitchen in a flatshare.

It IS ignorance though.

Growing up I was drinking squash, cola, eating supernoodles, nuggets, fries, biscuits, crisps, processed cereal, had constant cavities, obesity. And we were better fed than my cousins who were packing their own lunches in primary school (so handfuls of chocolate bars).

My parents were oblivious, called it puppy fat. Spoilt me with food because it was an affordable treat. My mum grew up so poor they often didn't eat and as an adult she ate doughnuts and fried food every day but was working 3 jobs and constantly stressed and on her feet all day and was a size 8.

My skinny sibling would only eat specific, weird food combos and sonthey fed him that.
It was never on either of my parents radar what a healthy diet looked like. They had no idea themselves.

It would be so easy for me to sit here and judge with my perfect dc and their perfect diet and the emotional resilience to address it but they loved us. It obviously wasn't good enough, but I don't think anything would have changed their behaviour. They also never engaged in my education or asked about homework or attended parents evening and were working shifts. I did my own laundry and cooking from 11. Where would you even have started?

Thankfully they loved us and my brother and I have worked our way out of poverty and speak with Nice Accents and are higher earners. As are my cousins by some miracle. It took generations to change and I honestly couldn't tell you what worked. If I had to venture a guess, it may have been a mix of books, sports clubs and apprenticeships and meeting other adults in the working world.

Yanbu

And as a previously overweight child, I can attend that it isn't fun being fat.

I agree with the PP who said keep snacks boring instead of exciting and moreish.

And stop using food to keep kids ‘occupied’ at appointments or on long journeys etc.

That’s literally a lesson in boredom eating.

That sounds extremely hard. I'd didn't mean that ignorance means you don't meaningfully love your child, I'm sorry if it came off that way.

I want to respond more fully tomorrow : but for now might I ask 2 questions... When you were at school, did no doctor or anything raise concerns about your health with your parents? I know you said they did not engage with teachers but would a GP or doctor have been any different?

Second, when you say that it tool generations to change..do you mean your parents found it difficult to address food/education etc due to their own parents not addressing it with them?

Excuses. Just because it’s there you don’t have to eat it. Free will exists. And having a fat child should be the best motivator in the world to make better choices.

Many parents bury their head in the sand about their child's health because they are in a healthy weight range. Why is it only parents of obese kids that get grief for providing poor nutrition.

I agree that parents who feed healthy weight children poor food should also not be excused.

The reason I'm focusing on obese and overweight children is because those things are extra health risks on top of that.

Absolutely.

It’s the same with adults as well. I’d get cheered on when I was a size 8-10 eating massive amounts of pasta, pizza and cake. 15 years later when I was a size 18 eating similar foods I’d get people who suddenly thought fit to comment on my eating & exercise habits.

Now back down to size 10 and I eat much healthier now anyway out of choice but I’m sure if I did binge on crap again people wouldn’t be so disapproving as I’m back to being slim-ish.

People say UPF is cheap that’s why they and their kids eat it. But a Tesco pizza is £4 so £16 for the family. Versus shepherds pie with Tesco mince £5, spuds £2, carrots 50p, oxo stock £2. And you’d have oxo left for next time. I don’t accept cost is a valid reason. There lots of meals on a budget recipes out there if people cared to look.

I think there’s a difference between a kid with a bit of chub because mum is sometimes too busy to cook or doesn’t know how to cook and a child who is clinically obese because the parents don’t know how to say no.

I am also guilty because I’m not going to lie when I was pregnant with DD2 my DD and DS got a little too chubby because me and DH got a bit lazy. It’s rectified now but I was surprised at how quickly it happened.

I was looking at my old school photos a while back and noticed nearly all of us were very slim. These days over 50% of those in the same photograph would be classed as obese. What has happened to children’s health in the last 30-40 years? Is it as simple as parents not giving their children nutritious and healthy food? Yes I’m sure it’s a big part of this but there seems to be other factors at play.

Our lifestyle was very different to now. We weren’t car dependent. I walked to and from school and afterwards I’d go out to play with friends for hours, running about, climbing trees etc. No computers, no smartphones. No central heating, no double glazing.There weren’t that many take aways or shops open to buy snacks. UPFs/convenience foods were available but weren’t mainstream. Meals were often meat/fish and three veg. Mum was home more and did the cooking. If you didn’t like what was on the plate, there weren’t many other alternatives.

I look at city centres now and see multiple fried chicken, burger and pizza places as they seem to be able to buck the economic downturn. The coffee shops all have these marvellous syrupy, creamy coffees in lots of different flavours. We’re awash with choices but is it killing us?

I’m a 90s kid. Plenty of kids in my (working class Scottish) town grew up on meals that were UPFs and drank irn-bru like it was water. We had an ice cream van come around every night and the queue for it would be full of adults and children buying sweets and ice cream. Plenty of families got a takeaway from the local chip shop or pizza place at least once a week - fried pizza, battered sausage, buttery rolls. And chips were served every day at the local high school.

A few girls were slightly chubby but I believe most of us weren’t fat because we walked around for hours every day after school!

Not just weight but people seem to forget the effects of sugary food has on dental health. I needed about six fillings when I started early secondary after years of my parents feeding me biscuits, chips, bottles of juice etc. I still remember how painful that dental procedure was.

My parents were totally oblivious that those foods were full of sugar. After some education from the dentist we started a no sugar diet except for one treat in my lunch.

The only reason I think I avoided becoming overweight was because I was extremely sporty.

My as yet undiagnosed autistic 3.5 year old possibly has ARFID. People on here would be shocked at what I let him eat. I'm not going to let my kid starve because of some pearl clutching mners 😂 you never know peoples situations so shouldn't judge them if you don't know them

I think it's easy to point the finger at parents but we are not a nutritionally literate population in this country, by design. You don't know what you don't know.

I recognise this however although it seemed frequent, I still think it was less, if you know what I mean. I could be at the van but I'd be buying a 10p mix up and a freddo. We had an ice cream van parked at the high school gate as well but it's was the same kind of thing, a couple of packets of tangy toms rather than a tube of pringles or a 'sharing' bag of M&Ms. I suppose it's a plus that those kinds of things are starting to increase in price but decrease in size again. Also there was a chippy not far from my high school which was an occasional thing but my local secondary has a chippy, a roll shop, two Greggs and a Lidl with a bakery in walking distance and that's where the kids go. It's like an apocalypse at Greggs after lunchtime.

Yes overall it is up to the parents to feed their kids healthier food, and yes society in general blames eveyone else with ''adverting forces me to buy nuggets now my child will have a tantrum if I dont buy them" excuses but like all parenting 'experts' on here you only see what people put you dont know their whole lives

Fed is best malarkey. (When giving the utmost UPF)

If you give your child a chocolate spread and sweet cereal each morning, you not only malnourish them, they have a sugar schock to their body. Oats / Apple / Banana/ Plain yoghurt and cinnamon wouldn’t cost much compared to some crappy cereals. It’s about educating outselves how to eat better on budget. If I have no money, I know that I’ll have oats / peanut butter and frozen fruit for them.

Genetics actually play a more significant role than previously thought. Here is a fab and very digestible (ahem) paper co-authored by Giles Yeo.

The genetics of obesity

In summary, it's likely a complex interaction between many genes that are responsible for many functions, and the environment.

To put it into context, we know how important biology is for weight gain and loss, due to the success of weight loss jabs.

YABVU

My neice and nephew eat the same food living in the same house. One is thin as a bean pole - the other is on the big side. They just have different frames and metabolism.

Theres plenty of parents who feed their kids absolutely shit - but they end up still being slim. Their diet is overlooked - but a child eating pretty reasonably can be accused of having a bad diet just for having a generally larger frame. It's not fair.