To think some people on here make too many excuses for parents feeding their kids unhealthy food to the point they become overweight or even obese?

[Giselle374]

I know a lot people are in really difficult situations financially, and the country overall has become harder and harder due to COL.

But I feel uneasy with the way some posts on this seem to imply that being in a hard financial position means unhealthy food almost can't be avoided.

People usually choose to have children, and food is a basic thing. If you didn't wash your child, or clothe them as best as you could, would that be similarly excusable? Arguably food is more important than many other potential areas since cancer and other illnesses are a very real danger if kids are overweight or obese young.

My mother had financial difficulties when I was young: she was a single parent and on minimum wage, and she hated cooking, ate very badly before I was born. But she ensured her meals (porridge, fish, eggs, veg based mostly) were healthy even if they were plain. I was barely ever allowed sugary or processed food. That's one of the things I'm most grateful for.

I do understand families in a depressing situation with few things for the kids to enjoy use food as something enjoyable sometimes
..areas need more resources, green space, libraries etc .

This isn't to deny the challenges of feeding kids healthily. But I think some posts on here lean too far to taking responsibility from the parents,,and I don't think that's helpful.

I remember another post I saw where someone said they lived in a mc area where parents mostly had enough money, and there were still many overweight children. The post continued, 'they love them, it's ignorance'.

I mean...'they love them', surely yes. But love is no excuse. Loving your partner isn't an excuse to treat them badly through ignorance, and it certainly shouldn't be for children. It might be a cliche, but love is not enough. Loving your child is essential...but so is treating them adequately for their needs.

YANBU. But get your hard hat on, as everyone will rock up to tell you to mind your own business and that their child is ‘sturdy’ despite a ‘very healthy diet’ and yours are probably underweight etc

I agree that feeding your children decent, nutritious food is one of the major responsibilities that you sign up for when becoming a parent. Nutrition (and sleep) are so important for a developing body and mind.
The reasons for that not happening are varied and complex. For example, I have 2 children who have a really good diet and we put a lot of effort into that as parents. I also have a child with ARFID, and some days I’m lucky if he eats more than a fromage frais and a cracker.
I don’t know what the answer is really.

Agree, and I also absolutely hate the expression ‘fed is best’ (not talking about breastfed vs formula fed babies, but when people say this in relation to children in general). Er, no it’s not. The bar should really be higher than ‘as long as they’ve got something to eat, it’ll do.’

I don’t disagree as such, of course we should try and feed our kids healtily, but it’s a lot more complex than just the cost of food.

I've straight up reported this one

Yabvu

Oh good. You’re ‘thinking’ again OP.

🤔

Why? I think it’s an interesting discussion. The fact is that childhood obesity is a big issue and someone, somewhere needs to figure out what’s happening and why, because it’s a ticking time bomb.

I think we have multiple problems with food throughout society and those multiple factors make it difficult for parents to overcome in isolation.

We went to a family attraction this weekend and my DC isn’t 2 yet so I feel like I haven’t noticed it before but I was shocked because almost every child I saw was at least a bit on the chubby side. It’s something I really worry about for my DC, like how do I make sure it doesn’t happen to them. I have struggled with my weight in my teens and 20s and I don’t want that for them.

No you are not being unreasonable

I cook early morning for a deli counter at a petrol station. We are on two primary school routes and many Secondary

Obese mothers are coming in with 10 year olds who are so fat, their legs are sticking out from the knees down as their thighs are so big, and its at leat £5 of sweets and fizzy drinks, and then a portion of chicken chunks, a couple of sausages, a jambon for breakfast, then on. the run back - Ice cream or ice cream milk shake and more sweets

As someone who has struggled all my adult life with my own weight, it breaks my heart to see the amount of shite parents are willing to feed their kids

I have the same struggle when the grandkids come visit. Mum is a lazy parent, my youngest GC is 4, weighs 5 stone and lives on nuggets, fries, pizza and pasta with tubs of stir in carbonara. The struggles I have at meal times stresses me so much I won't have them for more then 2 nights, as I dont want to make it horrible for them to visit. They call him a chunky lad rather then seeing he is already obese - before he even starts school

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently too. A girl I know through work (Year 10, she is 14) has been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes due in no small part to a very unhealthy diet and being very overweight. It’s heart breaking because she is the loveliest, sweetest girl and is really struggling with the needles etc.

I do wonder how kids do become so obese. I admit my child eats too much unhealthy food, along with veg and fruit but I could definitely give him less processed crap, but he's skinny, we walk to and from school and he does swimming. He doesn't really sit still to be fair. So is it more the kids are not doing excersize and most burn off a lot of energy or are their parents seriously overfeeding.

We live in a highly obesogenic environment. It’s not surprising that humans are trending towards obese in a world of such excess energy dense foods, ultra processing for palatability, marketing of foods etc. Humans are designed to eat and put on weight as much as possible when food is available!

You’re missing a huge number of other factors here - genetics, psychology, gut microbiome, sleep, hormonal factors, stress…

Sending a 🫂 , that sounds really hard.. I'm sorry, I should have put a caveat for situations like yours. I would definitely see situations differently where there is an issue like ARFID which makes feeding difficult.

I'll ask MNHQ to add to the OP tomorrow.

Why? This can't be a taboo discussion. This isn't a post bashing patents in a bad financial situation having issues with food, but it is saying that excusing poor feeding isn't the way to go either.

It can't be genetics in a lot of obese cases in children now...at least, genetics probably aren't a huge driver since rates were much lower not long ago.

Agree with all the others

Just don’t give them any sweet stuff until they’re old enough to ask for it and feel like they’re missing out, so 4/5ish. Before that they have zero comprehension of slushies and McDonalds, so just don’t give them.

I also notice the fatter kids eat very carb heavy meals, whereas I make every meal 1/4 protein, 1/4 carbs and 1/2 fruit/veg.

Also get food as close to the source as possible. So instead of buying Fridge Raiders, buy chicken breast and cook it then keep it in the fridge for sandwiches/snack meat.

I agree...but parents still have some agency within this bad environment...

This

YANBU OP but many parents don't like to hear it.

With so many adults on WLI, their kids will be the only fat ones in the house soon and then they'll be forced to do something about it.

Despite the COL, fast food outlets are absolutely booming in most towns.

Oh and keep snacks boring items - like a banana or plain yoghurt. Constantly offering a stream of ‘moreish’ snacks is not helping. If they’re hungry, they’ll eat a banana. My kids try to snack just for the sake of it, you have to be consistent with food not becoming a pastime or behaviour tool

yeah I get you’re asking a specific question but wanted to say as a reminder to everyone this thread isn’t just about being obese.

It’s about parents feeding crap to their kids .

Skinny doesn’t equal well fed or healthy. A poor diet affects children (and adults) even if they’re not overweight.

ETA:.My mistakes I didn’t read the title of the thread properly - I see it IS in fact about kids being obese 🤣

Okay well IMO it should just be about poor diet in general! This affects all sizes of children.

This too!