To think some people on here make too many excuses for parents feeding their kids unhealthy food to the point they become overweight or even obese?

[Giselle374]

I know a lot people are in really difficult situations financially, and the country overall has become harder and harder due to COL.

But I feel uneasy with the way some posts on this seem to imply that being in a hard financial position means unhealthy food almost can't be avoided.

People usually choose to have children, and food is a basic thing. If you didn't wash your child, or clothe them as best as you could, would that be similarly excusable? Arguably food is more important than many other potential areas since cancer and other illnesses are a very real danger if kids are overweight or obese young.

My mother had financial difficulties when I was young: she was a single parent and on minimum wage, and she hated cooking, ate very badly before I was born. But she ensured her meals (porridge, fish, eggs, veg based mostly) were healthy even if they were plain. I was barely ever allowed sugary or processed food. That's one of the things I'm most grateful for.

I do understand families in a depressing situation with few things for the kids to enjoy use food as something enjoyable sometimes
..areas need more resources, green space, libraries etc .

This isn't to deny the challenges of feeding kids healthily. But I think some posts on here lean too far to taking responsibility from the parents,,and I don't think that's helpful.

I do

Nah. There is 1000’s of adults who as children were body shamed and belly poked, as I said up thread, I do restrict his intake because I can, I won’t always have the control, he is how he is, some people are hungrier than others.

YANBU, you do see it all over online too. People claiming it's more expensive to eat healthy meals, when fruit/veg is much cheaper than junk food 99% of the time.

There's always a 'but' lol

But what if you don't have an oven!
But what if you can't afford to use the oven!
But what if your child is picky!
But what if you aren't anywhere near a shop that sells vegetables!
But but but but but

I sincerely doubt the majority of parents raising obese child happen to live on the breadline without an oven in a food desert, even even if so you can make plenty of healthy food that doesn't require cooking with heat.

People just won't admit that junk food is unaffordable for many because it's so expensive in comparison to simple homemade healthy meals.

Enabling your child to become obese is abuse/neglect.

I think you’re bang on.

I refuse to teach my son to hate himself and his body.

Yes we can make some healthier choices for him, but the very last thing I would ever do is give him a complex about his size or make him feel not good enough.

Here is the child focused advice - lots of links to recipes, activities etc: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/childrens-weight/advice-for-parents-overweight-children/

There are also some great books out there - Food Portion Sizes is one, Calories & Carbs is another. Stop expecting to be spoon fed the information on your child. Look for it!

You’re an adult so I’d assume you balance the high calories over the day. Do children need a whole pizza pizza to themselves? No.

If people put half the effort into actually learning some simple, basic healthy meals or problem-solving barriers (and I mean BASIC stuff like buying frozen veg and tinned fruit cos it's cheaper) they did into justifying why they can't possibly feed their child anything other than chips from the takeaway, we'd soon start to see the benefits.

It's an emotive topic, when you see young children wobbling down the road after school, red faced, huffing and puffing unable to keep up with their friends breaking into a light jog, bursting out of their clothes. Always with an obese adult. It's just heartbreaking as it's much, MUCH harder to get out of being obese as an adult when you've been raised that way. They're starting out adult life already ten steps behind.

MUCH harder to get out of being obese as an adult when you've been raised that way. They're starting out adult life already ten steps behind.
I find it the opposite way in a lot of cases, most obese adults were slim as children growing up in an era when fast food wasn’t freely available or affordable, yet managed to lose control in today’s food filled society.
My age 45, very few overweight children in the 890’s who are now overweight adults.
I have a lot of nieces and nephews, the two that were really chubby as children are gym bunnies now, sculpted bodies, another two that were obsessed with sports became overweight in college and would be obese.
Granted, I’ll agree it will be harder for the upcoming generation as they’ve access to 24 hour food.
There are no guarantees.

You didn’t say children, you said no one. If you were more precise we wouldn’t be having this pointless exchange

That doesn’t mean obese children are less likely to be obese adults, it means even with a head start of being a slim child it’s still an issue. And will be even worse for those without that advantage.

My friend does a whole pizza per person. I’d have a half. Plus £2 for oven chips it’s still more than the shepherds pie. Lots of home cooked meals cost around the same as upf. Tuna pasta and bean (or meat) chilli are also cheap and excellent filling healthy meals. Two packs of Tesco chicken nuggets is £8 and you’ll be hungry an hour later.

Oh this is SUCH a cop out, sorry but it is. How common is morbid obesity compared with anorexia, particularly in men? You’re burying your head in the sand and using this as an excuse not to address the eating. Because it makes your life easier. He won’t thank you for it in years to come

I think she has a disabled son

Does @SleeplessInWherever also refuse to teach him obesity will rob him of his health, his mobility and his longevity?

I believe her child is disabled

Yes and it’s also socially embarrassing. Look at the endless threads on here by women depressed about their weight because they feel it affects how others see them, nobody wants to date them, they’re perceived as lazy even if they’re not.

Or those who were heavily restricted by diet culture have the opportunity to feed themselves without restrictions.
Keep it healthy, keep in simple, everything in moderation. Less focus on -fuel- food.

I dont need it. My child is 18 and a normal weight and actually trying to lose weight in year 6 would have been the wrong thing to do as it was pre a growth spurt as advised by the gp.

I did look hard for advice. I was given a number for support and there was none so i went to the gp for tailored specific advice.

That website is very superficial advice that I was already following. The only 'issue' was portion size which was actually correct in hindsight because he was hungry as he was about to grow.

I cant see the point of a national measurement programme that isnt backed up with tailored advice and help for those who are struggling.

You can carry on telling everyone to read a book but that hasn't worked yet. So why will it work now? Help people that need it. if you give somonene a number for support with thier childs diet, actually give that support.

Some people hugely underestimate how much of a difference genes make. I have three kids. My husband and I are skinny, 2 of the three or skinny. One child isn’t. He looked like my FIL who - like is whole family - are obese. This child has always been extra hungry, from the day he was born. We all eat the same healthy, nutritious food. His genes clearly make him fatter on the same food as the rest of us and hungrier on the same food.

You come over as insufferably smug OP.

Ok I see that maybe makes it harder, depending on the disability. But surely disabled children need to be taught healthy eating habits too? It’s not about hating your body. It’s about giving what it needs.

Yes, I think there are two arguments here which get conflated and that doesn’t help.

I grew up on junk food and ready meals but was never overweight as a child as our portions weren’t big. However my friend’s mum was an amazing cook and made everything from scratch and her meals were technically healthier but my friend and her siblings were overweight because they ate more calories than they needed.

I think many obese children aren’t eating as much junk as some people might think but we now have a culture where we are encouraged to eat and snack all the time which results in many people simply eating many more calories than they needed and becoming overweight.

So why don’t you see random obese children in Amazonian cultures?

@Hellohelga - this is for you too.

Trust me, when you have a kid who happily poos himself in public, or shouts CHEEEEEEESE from the top of slides, or takes his clothes off because he doesn’t like T-shirts anymore - you suddenly give less of a shit about social perception.

He’s recently developed a facial tick, he looks like he’s lost his marbles when he’s doing it, but it doesn’t hurt him and I couldn’t give a shiny fuck what people think of him for doing it.

Similarly, I give equal amounts of headspace to what people think of his build or size. None of your business, and if you make it your business, that’s a you issue.

He has a restricted diet. He eats around 5 foods that he thinks are safe, and it’s a very slow process trying to teach him that other foods are too. At the moment our only success is that he’s at a stage where if you have it, he wants it. So he tries lettuce because I’m eating it, I nearly backflipped round the car last week when he asked for a “bonanana” because he’d seen me eating one.

If you think I’m going to teach a severely disabled child that food is bad, and that his body is bad because it’s bigger than another kids, you are sorely, sorely mistaken. We are teaching him, gradually, that “unsafe” food isn’t the enemy, and that he doesn’t have to bend to “social embarrassment.”

I will, and do, teach him to eat better - at the pace I’m able to. If you want to sit in judgement that it’s not quick enough, or believe that we should just present him with food he won’t eat and let him genuinely starve once he’s refused - day after day, that says a damn sight more about you than it does about us as his parents.

As a teacher it absolutely breaks my heart. I’ve currently got one student who is 13 years old, and he is so obese that he struggles to walk up the stairs to my classroom (only 2 flights of stairs). He arrives, puffing and unable to breathe, and needs a few minutes before he can talk normally and start the lesson.

His family are extremely wealthy and spoil him, so he eats whatever he likes. His bag is always full of chocolate bars, sweets, etc. and he always has 3 servings of the school dinner despite students normally only being allowed seconds (his mum phoned up the school to complain when he wasn’t allowed to have a third helping). He covers everything in a huge amount of mayonnaise which must add at least 800 calories alone. We’ve been instructed not to comment on his food or what he adds to it.

When I taught in a very deprived area i got the shock of my life when the students opened their lunch boxes. Packaged, processed, nothing fresh, not even a sandwich. Energy drinks for breakfast. Absolutely appalling. This food wasn’t cheap at all, in fact, it was significantly more expensive to buy these branded snacks than to make a simple sandwich.

Both my DH and I grew up eating well, and we are determined to instil the same in our DC. It’s such an important part of their flourishing, and I honestly don’t understand why parents are so blasé about it. And yes, we both work full-time with no help, 3 young DC, so I understand what it means to be time-poor. I just don’t think that’s a valid excuse.

You are in denial if you think obesity is not due to overeating. If that were true WLI wouldn’t work. My DH family has one obese sibling of four. He was obese all his life, till age 50 he went on a diet using a calorie counting app (after being too fat to do sth). He’s now the same size as his siblings. All the skinny people I know watch what they eat and eat small portions of mainly healthy food. All the overweight people I know eat big portions of and are more likely to have fattening food. Genetics can cause bigger appetites, metabolic rate and where you store fat. But basically if you eat more than you use your body will store it as fat somewhere.