AIBU to think their no-touching rule for the baby is OTT?

[Pretfeen]

Some relatives recently had a baby. They are quite a young couple in mid 20s and have set a rule that no one is allowed to hold or touch baby until he's at least 12 weeks old, not even grandparents. Before 4 weeks no one could visit. Now visits are permitted but only to look at baby, no touching.

For background baby is healthy, born full term so no issues like that.

AiBU to think this is a bit OTT and precious? Obviously it shouldn't be pass the parcel with a newborn, no kisses, wash hands, stay away if sick etc but I've never seen this level of protection before.

Obviously it's their baby, their rules and I'm not going to break them. I'll visit in a few weeks and keep my distance.

Is this a Gen Z thing? Or are they a bit extreme? I was never this way with my DC nor were any friends and relatives in my age group. We'd usually visit a week or two after and hold baby after washing hands. Maybe I'm just a bit blasé about these, I'm sure there will be plenty of sanctimonious parents in here who'll tell me AIBU

Absolutely ridiculous.

It's ridiculous

I agree. I didnt mind anyone holding any of my babies

Yea but it's fueled by the current social media crap. I wouldnt visit for twice as long as what they say

Some relatives are upset they can't hold baby. Particularly the older generation who think it's complete nonsense and don't understand it at all.

I'm tempted to delay visit as one relative went last week and was sent a long text of rules to follow in preparation

What's on social media? They're both into Tik Tok and Instagram so no doubt they've seen something

Why do you feel such a strong need to touch their baby as a newborn? It's only a few weeks.

Absolutely ridiculous. They will be on here complaining their GP’s don’t have a bond with them by the time they are 3. Never heard anything so ridiculous. I feel sorry for the GP’s. Batshit, for a healthy baby.

That's not the punishment you think it is.

I think it's totally bonkers and honestly, I wouldn't bother visiting them at all. If they want to live in a little bubble, leave them too it. In a few years time, they'll probably be complaining that their relatives don't help out and haven't developed a bond with their child!

Oh i’d be staying well away for a few months. What’s the point in visiting if you’ve got more rules to follow than the isolation unit of a children’s hospital.

I don't have a 'strong urge', and won't be visiting for at least a few weeks. It would just be usual hold for few minutes like people did with my DC when they visited me. Nothing out of ordinary

Ah yes, it's well known that it's impossible to bond with a baby unless you touch it as a newborn.

But they don't want you to. You can hold it another time.

Whooville, its pretty clear you subscribe to same school of thought as my relatives.

Don’t worry by the time they have another one they will have forgotten these rules and will be giving the baby to anyone that will hold it 😀

Come off it! Not even grandparents allowed hold their grandchild until it is 3 months old? It's batshit.

Which is fine, I've said in my OP I won't be breaking their rules.

Their baby, their rules. YABU.

Why?

Load of bollocks which comes from ignorance of facts or science (and therefore ideally suited to social media types).

Yes, the baby isn’t going to go stale by 12 weeks. Just be patient.

For context I'm an aunt in this scenario. One of the parents in my much younger sibling.

This sibling held my own DC at 3 days old and my DC were fine/ never got ill. Sibling has held other family babies over the years too

It's fairly standard social interaction for the majority of people. It doesn't mean they can't have their rules for their child, but they're either convinced you'll give the baby GERMS which suggests an unhealthy fixation, or that you'll hurt them so they don't trust you, or that they don't want you to show any interest so either dislike or don't trust you. None of that is a. healthy b. making me want to visit. Which is fine, that might be their intention.
But then people moan that other people aren't interested and they never get time alone and no one offers to babysit etc

We'll yeah, cos you dint really trust me to not cause harm to your kid.

I'm old, I thought it was lovely if people wanted to hold my newborn. People used common sense. I don't understand how some people get through life if they are so anxious about a friend or relative cuddling a baby.