AIBU to think their no-touching rule for the baby is OTT?

[Pretfeen]

Some relatives recently had a baby. They are quite a young couple in mid 20s and have set a rule that no one is allowed to hold or touch baby until he's at least 12 weeks old, not even grandparents. Before 4 weeks no one could visit. Now visits are permitted but only to look at baby, no touching.

For background baby is healthy, born full term so no issues like that.

AiBU to think this is a bit OTT and precious? Obviously it shouldn't be pass the parcel with a newborn, no kisses, wash hands, stay away if sick etc but I've never seen this level of protection before.

Obviously it's their baby, their rules and I'm not going to break them. I'll visit in a few weeks and keep my distance.

Is this a Gen Z thing? Or are they a bit extreme? I was never this way with my DC nor were any friends and relatives in my age group. We'd usually visit a week or two after and hold baby after washing hands. Maybe I'm just a bit blasé about these, I'm sure there will be plenty of sanctimonious parents in here who'll tell me AIBU

Are they foreign? My Chinese and Russian friends do not let anyone see their newborns until they are 3 months old. 'Evil eye' or some such shit. I don't know about touching or holding as never went to see them.

Their child will be the one that catches everything going as they’re never exposed to germs.

Totally ridiculous, I was just so delighted if people cared enough to want to spend time with my four.

Omg 😂😂

It’s a short hold/cuddle to welcome a baby into the family. Not wrenching it from the breast to take into your own cave to be devoured at dawn while chanting satanic verses 😂

A friend of mine was like this when her son was born with the rest of our friendship group. He’s now about 6, and she complains that we don’t make an effort with him compared to how much we see each others’ kids.

So ridiculous! My dad held my baby the morning after he was born, as did my sister, my mother in law, then a week later ALL my friends, my cousins etc etc. Seeing your loved ones hold your newborn is pure joy. Also meant I could have a shower / hot cup of tea / nap!! So ridiculously precious

Sibling partner isn't from the UK and they are driving force behind these rules. I think my sibling would be more relaxed if just up.to him.

It sounds OTT but is there a family member who can't be trusted not to kiss the baby so they've made the rule of no holding to eliminate the possibility?

Not at all, everyone in the family is respectful.

No 'weirdos' as Whooville implied

Not that I'm a parent, but I get it.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/my-baby-died-after-being-35382678

People kissing babies when they have mouth sores/herpes. It might be OTT, but I get it.

We're talking about holding, obviously no kisses. As I stated in my OP

😂😬
Thankfully, I never really regarded the wishes of my close family to hold my newborns as coming between me and my newborn.

That makes it a bit different tbh.
Cultural differences and expectations need to be respected.
Are there many cultures that don't let close family hold newborn babies?

Wow I pity anyone who has this kind of view

I’ve seen a trend on tiktok from Gen X people where some idiot posts a long list of rules about their first baby including no holding and no visits until after a certain time (that time is for OUR LITTLE FAMILY). Comes across as totally insane and I bet these people will be begging relatives to babysit within a few weeks. Hopefully the relatives will tell them to go eff themselves.

Other than my own children the best moment of my life was holding my one day old granddaughter recently.
I must admit I do smile to myself a bit when I’m told some of the current recommendations, but I keep it to myself and remind myself that I did things my mother thought were ridiculous.
Yours do sound very extreme OP, such a shame as my daughter thinks the more the merrier when it comes to relationships with extended family. I’m very lucky that at a few months I already have a lovely relationship with my delicious little girl. She will grow up knowing how loved she is by all her family. And the sooner that starts the better , well I think so anyway.

What difference does it make if you can hold it in May or in July? Is that impacting your life? Is this completely insignificant amount of time in the course of a human life going to mean you never want to see this child as it grows up because you weren’t allowed to touch it at 2 months old?

Self-evidently, OP knows that. The point is that it's pretty weird not even to let close relatives hold the baby for a short time. The baby won't come to any harm unless they have some sort of infection, in which event they probably wouldn't visit anyway.

How will they cope when their 1 year old is eating handfuls of soil?

I know someone who was like this. A couple of years down the line and they are really embarrassed about how they behaved. You may well find that’s what happens with your DB.

Absolutely over the top and unnecessary.
I find it quite bizarre they would want to isolate themselves and not have close family & friends share in their baby joy.

So true - it was wonderful to share the joy of a new baby with family and friends. Seems quite performative and attention seeking to do this. If not be visiting at all.

typo - I’d not be visiting at all!

Batshit stupidity. Whatever next! 🤷‍♀️🙈

No kissing is fine but the rest is just silly. I loved sharing my baby with my friends and family. It’s great for someone to hold them whilst you have a shower or a much needed sleep.

Save the pity. You might have found the newborn phase easier if you did exactly what you wanted all the time. I did.