AIBU to think their no-touching rule for the baby is OTT?

[Pretfeen]

Some relatives recently had a baby. They are quite a young couple in mid 20s and have set a rule that no one is allowed to hold or touch baby until he's at least 12 weeks old, not even grandparents. Before 4 weeks no one could visit. Now visits are permitted but only to look at baby, no touching.

For background baby is healthy, born full term so no issues like that.

AiBU to think this is a bit OTT and precious? Obviously it shouldn't be pass the parcel with a newborn, no kisses, wash hands, stay away if sick etc but I've never seen this level of protection before.

Obviously it's their baby, their rules and I'm not going to break them. I'll visit in a few weeks and keep my distance.

Is this a Gen Z thing? Or are they a bit extreme? I was never this way with my DC nor were any friends and relatives in my age group. We'd usually visit a week or two after and hold baby after washing hands. Maybe I'm just a bit blasé about these, I'm sure there will be plenty of sanctimonious parents in here who'll tell me AIBU

It's a very strong, basic human instinct to touch people we care about, even stronger with family.

I can't believe 21% of people think yabu. It is bonkers. What's the reasoning?

It's over the top I think, especially not to allow grandparents!

I couldn't wait for relatives and friends to see mine and have a hold, it's a lovely time and I could see how happy everyone was for us...I don't get it.

Yes exactly. Everyone in the family will respect their rules but it's just a bit sad they've chosen to be so ridiculously strict for no apparent reason. If baby was poorly or premature I would completely understand but he's not

Just wait until they want babysitters for ‘date night’ or to go to the gym.

but surely if everyone “just has a quick hold” you would be playing pass the parcel with the baby - exactly what you said you it shouldn’t be like in your OP. Many health professionals agree that newborn babies with 0 immune system shouldn’t be passed around in the first weeks of life. I couldn’t get worked up about a mum doing everything possible to protect their newborn - particular a much younger sibling who you should be supporting! What a shame.

Babies have been held by family and strangers since time immemorial. Christenings often happened very early on and the priest would hold the baby.

Baby gets socialised. The mother can hand the child over to get a shower or go to the loo. It's a joy to welcome newborns.

And babies have their mother's immunity until they're six months old anyway.

It's ridiculous. I held my nephew when he was about 19 hours old.

Imagine if there was an older child in the household, at nursery or school.
One day they will look back and cringe.

i expect they won't want kiddo out of their sight untl they're almost a teenager if they're being this overprotective and led by online trends.

I think there are quite a few very sanctimonious and precious parents out there who do this sort of thing and then are super rigid about lots of things as a child grows up.

Siblings partner(before baby was here) has told me all sorts about no sugar, no screens , breast feeding until at least 2, and expressed judgement about parents who don't follow these things.

Try it and see 🤷‍♀️😂

This is weird to me but they will probably be posting angry things on SM soon saying things about people not making an effort to be in their kids lives and some nonsense about how they know the ones that deserve to be in their children’s lives because they have always tried not to rock the boat demonstrated their efforts by bending over backwards to be in their lives.

Meh, other people's babies are boring. I wouldn't care less about not being able to touch.

If it was a kitten, however, I would be raging.

The anxiety and overthinking of young adults these days, in every sphere of life, including parenting, is so incredibly unhealthy. But they cannot see it.

And it’s an even stronger maternal instinct to bare your teeth at anyone who tries to come between you and your newborn.

What are you insinuating? There is no culture on earth where new born babies are only touched by their parents for 12 weeks. It is the norm and customary for others to do so. These parents can absolutely do as they please, and their choices should be tolerated and ideally respected; but your rather nasty comment questioning the OP’s motives shows that you are either ignorant or malicious.

Yes I wondered if it was a Gen Z thing

Start as you mean to go on. Milton to sterilise all eating and drinking utensils until the age of 11. A nice cupful of Dettol in the bath. No playdates until 15. No sleepovers until 21. All clothes boiling in a vat of Stergene within 10 minutes of returning home from school. Child in sterile gloves on shopping trips.

Honestly! It never crossed my mind to keep my baby DD to myself and was quite happy for anyone to hold her who wanted to. I hope these young parents chill out a bit or their life us going to be quite hard.

Yes I agree, then there was the 'weirdos' comment implying it's strange for close relatives to want to hold a new family member. It must be sad to have that view of people

Yep, this. It's weird!

I think Whoooville is your relative .

But she isn’t saying she won’t follow their rules, just that she thinks their rules are OTT. I agree with her. It’s human nature to want to hold and marvel at a tiny baby, and as long as basic hygiene rules are followed I can’t see any downside.

Bloody ridiculous.. My dgc was less than 5 mins old when I held her..
She's a healthy robust 1 year old.
Just this week in a restaurant an elderly lady stroked her face as she sat in the highchair.. It was a lovely moment to see and she was a complete stranger.. Can't imagine a brand new dgm being unable to hold their dgc. Quite callous imo.

Haha yes I do wonder. The comments remind me of my siblings partner tbh 😂

I don’t enjoy babies and have never had any desire to cuddle a newborn other than my own. I still think this is an odd and precious rule.