AIBU to think you shouldn't have to specify your food order as "on its own" if you don't want a side and they cost extra?

[SidesAside]

A wet and cold Bank Holiday Sunday where I am. DH and I decided to go with our original plan of visiting a garden centre, but to pad the day out a bit as we wouldn't be looking around outside, I suggested stopping off on the way for lunch at a cheap and cheerful chain pub that has nice lakeside views.

For context, come rain or shine, workday or weekday, we always have a light lunch, e.g. sandwich and then a substantial dinner in the evening.

We arrived, found a table and I looked at the menu. I found a list of sandwiches and chose one. It's an order at the bar and pay place, so I kept the table and DH went up with the order.

He came back and said, "You've got spicy potato wedges as a side."

I said, "The menu didn't mention it came with a side, I didn't want one."

He said, "It didn't cost any extra."

I looked again at the menu and saw, under the list of sandwiches, a footnote saying "Add a side for £1.50' with a list of sides, potato wedges, onion rings and so on. I checked the receipt and we had indeed paid £1.50 for unwanted wedges. Now, I am not fussed about £1.50 but I pointed out we'd now paid for something that would go to waste.

DH became defensive and said "But you didn't ask for a prawn caibatta "on its own"".

I said, "Surely I shouldn't have to as the sides are an extra, you know I never normally order sides, even if we're having a main meal." [for context we have been married over 20 years].
DH repeated "You should have asked for it "on its own"."

I didn't want to spoil the day with a petty argument so I said, "In short, you've been a victim of upselling - just please, engrave in your mind for the future that unless I specifically say I want a side, whether it's included or not, I don't want one."

I then changed the subject, we carried on with our day and had a pleasant enough time considering the weather.

But who is being unreasonable here -

• Me, for not asking for the sandwich 'on its own'
• DH for saying I should have asked for it 'on its own'
• The pub for what sounds like sneaky upselling.

Opinions welcome!

He did ask for it!

I noticed that. Sounds like she doesn’t like him much. Very patronising.

Your overreaction here is extraordinary.

the pub upsold your husband who probably didn’t read the menu fully and made a decision in the moment. For the sake of 1.50 and a wasted portion of potato this level of interest and stewing is bizarre.

You didn’t read the post!
Her husband ordered them for her, that’s why she’s annoyed. He wasted £1.50!

I can just imagine my DH's reply if I told him to engrave something on his brain.

No, not really. If he hadn't immediately suggested it was my fault by not asking for it 'on its own' and acknowledged it was either his error or the pub being sneaky, I'd have said 'don't worry about it, just remember for next time ..."

It's really the whole business of ordering something "on its own" when the sides are at extra cost that seems a ridiculous idea. Yes, if it's listed on the menu as coming with X (included in cost) then you would say if you didn't want it, but not if the sides are in a separate listing with a separate price.

Depends on how often he's done similar and how well he knows that you certainly wouldn't want them and how long you've been together, no?

You were right that you shouldn’t need to specify no sides when you give your order, but wrong to make such a pompous speech about it.

That’s made me really laugh.

What's that got to do with calories?

Is this thread a Mumsnet first?

Man victim blames woman and woman is at fault?

🤣😂🤣

Bit of a joy killer. What happens when he really does the wrong thing?

You sound patronising and superior. You never made a mistake ever?

I read it but I clearly wasn’t paying attention as I fully missed that part 🙈

Maybe he just wanted a side and, knowing that you never have anything extra, he told a little white lie hoping to avoid a big hassle over £1.50.

I don't understand your question.

"Depends how well he knows that you certainly wouldn't want them" seems clear enough to me.

We're up north, it's cheap up north (but so are wages, sadly)!

All I can suggest is your DH holds the table next time and you go and order. .If there is a next time after you spoke to him like a dick. Not sure there would be a next time if someone spoke to me like that.

I'm not a fully trained silver service waitress just a lowley normal one.

Our menus include a section of sides. As far as I'm aware no one has ever been confused about what that means.
It's really not difficult.

You seem quite cross at the idea of being 'forced' to eat extra calories (rather than just, I dunno, not eating the wedges). I said this was dramatic. You said that depends on how long you've been together.

I was just wondering what how long you've been together has to do with your concern that any food put in front of you is the same as calories being 'forced down' your throat.

EDIT- you edited as I posted, I see that the 'them' refers to the calories, and not the wedges. Honestly this just convinces me even more that you're being a bit loopy about the concept of calories.

He wanted to deviate from the rules by getting HER food she doesn't want? If he'd come back with a pint of Guinness and a cheeseburger when she normally had a baguette and wine, would he still be in the right because he's fun and she's not??

YAbU for giving this any thought!

Yes I find it rather funny that PP thinks "extras" is plain English but "sides" is somehow unintelligible. Particularly where, logically, if the main dish has no wedges to start with then adding "extra" wedges makes no sense, whereas having them as a "side" does.

You did spot that was one possible complaint in a list that was slightly tongue in cheek (better than a chip maybe 😁) ? No? Thought not.

You are not being unreasonable.

I'm a man and I'm also a husband and your husband sounds like an idiot.

You want to order something and you give him instructions as to what to order at the bar. You don't expect him to come back with anything else unless it's to say "They're out of fill in as appropriate sandwiches what do you want instead?"

I'm amazed so many people think you are being unreasonable.

(Ps - the pub isn't being unreasonable unless they told your husband the wedges were no extra cost. And if they did tell him that then he should have gone back to cancel them on the grounds of misrepresentation)