AIBU to think you shouldn't have to specify your food order as "on its own" if you don't want a side and they cost extra?

[SidesAside]

A wet and cold Bank Holiday Sunday where I am. DH and I decided to go with our original plan of visiting a garden centre, but to pad the day out a bit as we wouldn't be looking around outside, I suggested stopping off on the way for lunch at a cheap and cheerful chain pub that has nice lakeside views.

For context, come rain or shine, workday or weekday, we always have a light lunch, e.g. sandwich and then a substantial dinner in the evening.

We arrived, found a table and I looked at the menu. I found a list of sandwiches and chose one. It's an order at the bar and pay place, so I kept the table and DH went up with the order.

He came back and said, "You've got spicy potato wedges as a side."

I said, "The menu didn't mention it came with a side, I didn't want one."

He said, "It didn't cost any extra."

I looked again at the menu and saw, under the list of sandwiches, a footnote saying "Add a side for £1.50' with a list of sides, potato wedges, onion rings and so on. I checked the receipt and we had indeed paid £1.50 for unwanted wedges. Now, I am not fussed about £1.50 but I pointed out we'd now paid for something that would go to waste.

DH became defensive and said "But you didn't ask for a prawn caibatta "on its own"".

I said, "Surely I shouldn't have to as the sides are an extra, you know I never normally order sides, even if we're having a main meal." [for context we have been married over 20 years].
DH repeated "You should have asked for it "on its own"."

I didn't want to spoil the day with a petty argument so I said, "In short, you've been a victim of upselling - just please, engrave in your mind for the future that unless I specifically say I want a side, whether it's included or not, I don't want one."

I then changed the subject, we carried on with our day and had a pleasant enough time considering the weather.

But who is being unreasonable here -

• Me, for not asking for the sandwich 'on its own'
• DH for saying I should have asked for it 'on its own'
• The pub for what sounds like sneaky upselling.

Opinions welcome!

This doesn't sound like a silver service kind of place. 'sides' are very normal way to refer to the extra bit of your meal, sometimes they're included sometimes extra cost so always clarify if that bothers you.

I’m impressed the wedges only costs £1.50

Thanks for opinions so far. Just to answer some questions:

• No, it didn't ruin the day at all. After I'd explained not to get me a side by default again, it wasn't mentioned further - we went on to the garden centre, had a nice walk round and we're now relaxing in front of the TV.

• DH didn't want them so they went to waste.

• I was paying - as lunch out had been my idea - so it wasn't a case of him getting me something extra as a little treat. I think the pub sneakily upsold by saying after he'd asked for it "Do you want fries, onion rings or wedges with that?" without mentioning it was priced add-on and he went with the wedges.

• He has form for repeating the same mistake again and again, unless I really spell it out to him. E.g. he had a habit of, if we were in a shop and he was ready to leave and he couldn't immediately see me, he'd think I'd left without him and go wandering out to find me in neighbouring shops, so then I wouldn't know where he was, and we'd be going round in circles, so I had to tell him to engrave it on his brain that I would never leave the shop we were both in without telling him. We've been married a long time, I know when he's taken something in and when he hasn't.

Let's not pretend that it's only Reform voters or people who voted for Brexit who are like this though, you see it from all sides and social media especially is a cesspit of hate.

The so called tolerant caring left wing are just as vile, just read some of the comments when Charlie Kirk was murdered, when the attacks on Jews happen etc. You seriously have to wonder where all this is going to end because both sides are so intent on just demonising the other instead of wanting to come together and find some common ground

From my own perspective, is there a immigration problem in The UK that needs addressing, yes 100%
Am I happy that these 2 people are dead? Absolutely not, every life lost is tragic

It's the awful language on the menu that is the problem. The staff are under pressure to add money to everyone's bill.

I think you've commented on the wrong thread.

Either that or you're even more dramatic about an unwanted side of wedges than OP is.

So you're literally always a patronising knob then? I'm trying to picture a scenario in which my husband telling me to engrave something in my brain wouldn't result in me thinking he was an abusive dick head and telling him to fuck off with himself.

I'd have told you to order your own food next time.

Showing 'sides' for an additional £1.50 shouldn't confuse many people.

These damn sides, coming over here, stealing our money

I've never that I can recall asked for anything on the side when we've had lunch together. I've got a hiatus hernia so I rarely have potatoes in any form other than boiled, jacket or plain mashed because fried potatoes or potatoes in a spicy coating give me heartburn. DH is fully aware of that.

I think a cage would be an excellent side order for misbehaving husbands and partners.

You could pop them in it to think about what they have done - like a time out, then release them when they are suitably penitent.

Your DH was unreasonable to get wedges and not onion rings.

🤣

You sound like you need some help.

Yes you're right. What a tit

Why?

One person needs to hold the table in a place like that because you order to your table number, it isn't one of those places where they give you a numbered flag to take with you, the numbers are fixed to the tables.

It's pretty random which of us goes up to order in that sort of place, e.g. if one of us wants to pop to the loo on the way, but on this occasion there was no special reason why it was DH not me.

To be fair the "you didn't say without" would annoy me too

Do you really use the phrase "engrave in your brain" when speaking to your husband, enough to have referenced it twice now? Incredibly patronising.

Edited - somehow missed the part where your husband specifically agreed to the wedges 😂

I was thinking… wait, what? That escalated quickly from £1.50 wedges 😂

I think technically you’re right, but that fact it’s even an issue makes you unreasonable IMO. I can’t imagine giving this any more than a fleeting thought.

I presume her DH asked for them and they weren't just randomly added.

💯