AIBU to think you shouldn't have to specify your food order as "on its own" if you don't want a side and they cost extra?

[SidesAside]

A wet and cold Bank Holiday Sunday where I am. DH and I decided to go with our original plan of visiting a garden centre, but to pad the day out a bit as we wouldn't be looking around outside, I suggested stopping off on the way for lunch at a cheap and cheerful chain pub that has nice lakeside views.

For context, come rain or shine, workday or weekday, we always have a light lunch, e.g. sandwich and then a substantial dinner in the evening.

We arrived, found a table and I looked at the menu. I found a list of sandwiches and chose one. It's an order at the bar and pay place, so I kept the table and DH went up with the order.

He came back and said, "You've got spicy potato wedges as a side."

I said, "The menu didn't mention it came with a side, I didn't want one."

He said, "It didn't cost any extra."

I looked again at the menu and saw, under the list of sandwiches, a footnote saying "Add a side for £1.50' with a list of sides, potato wedges, onion rings and so on. I checked the receipt and we had indeed paid £1.50 for unwanted wedges. Now, I am not fussed about £1.50 but I pointed out we'd now paid for something that would go to waste.

DH became defensive and said "But you didn't ask for a prawn caibatta "on its own"".

I said, "Surely I shouldn't have to as the sides are an extra, you know I never normally order sides, even if we're having a main meal." [for context we have been married over 20 years].
DH repeated "You should have asked for it "on its own"."

I didn't want to spoil the day with a petty argument so I said, "In short, you've been a victim of upselling - just please, engrave in your mind for the future that unless I specifically say I want a side, whether it's included or not, I don't want one."

I then changed the subject, we carried on with our day and had a pleasant enough time considering the weather.

But who is being unreasonable here -

• Me, for not asking for the sandwich 'on its own'
• DH for saying I should have asked for it 'on its own'
• The pub for what sounds like sneaky upselling.

Opinions welcome!

I certainly wouldn’t divorce him or have a go at him though if he did forget to order them! I’d just chalk it up as one of those things and move on with my day and without my fries!

You’re all missing the point. She doesn’t care about whether he bought the £1.50 wedges - it’s the fact he made a mistake and tried to blame her! This would annoy me too. Total deflection

She should have shrugged it off when he first mentioned the wedges if they weren’t a big deal, not question him, check for evidence then berate him.

When he said he'd got the wedges, she should have just said "oh, I didn't want a side" and left it. All this berating and telling him to "engrave it in his brain" is just nasty, unpleasant and unnecessary.

He only blamed her when she started moaning about a plate of £1.50 potato wedges.

Waste? Could you not just, you know, eat them?

A sandwich and £1.50 portion of wedges is still a light lunch.

Try nor to be so controlling and conescending.

This thread has amused me on a dull Monday morning. How other people live, eh? Engrave THAT on your mind.

I can't imagine getting this upset about some £1.50 wedges...

Totally get where you’re coming from, my DH would also have done this 😂 but knowing that he would eat them if I wouldn’t (I wouldn’t eat them either)

I also have to tell DH to ‘engrave on his brain’ the following:

1. I only eat food out of bowls, don’t bring me a plate
2. dont give me toast not cut in half
3. dont give me a knife, I hate them
4. always cut my tomatoes in half and put pepper on them

He also has preferences about various mad things that I accommodate

I also HATE waste more than anything.

She has a hernia and they give her heartburn. That's why.
Her husband knows this

A sandwich and £1.50 portion of wedges is still a light lunch.

It definitely isn't.

Yes it is. Its not a meal.

And that makes it a light lunch?

You are fooling yourself, it's half your total energy needs for a whole day, minimum.

Weirdly, I have exactly the same preferences on bowls, toast and knives and I have pepper on most savoury things too😄

The sandwich was 630 calories and having checked online, the wedges 200 calories for anyone who is interested. Imdunfer is spot on, the sandwich by itself was about half my normal daily intake, I'm post menopause, sedentary and short so my TDEE to stay at the same weight is only in the 1300s alas 🙁

Fucking hell, what a load of drama about a few potato wedges.

If sides cost extra and you don’t order a side, then you should just get what you ordered.

I’m a great believer in not sweating the small stuff and this to me is miniscule. I just couldn’t get worked up about it. If he’d brought back a lobster, caviar and a wagyu steak, along with a £350 bill when we were broke I’d be annoyed but £1.50 wedges? no. I’m pretty laid back so this wouldn’t register to me as anything at all.

It's very much a non issue really but overall I'd say DH for not reading the menu properly. Overall though a mistake with implications so minor as to be not really worth raising. The pub just asked about the sides options which many would take them up on. If he's read the menu he will know it's an extra. But for £1.50 they're not exactly coining it in if people make a mistake by not realising it's an extra.

One of those kind of places did it to me recently, they asked something like did we want the poppadom or naan bread with it, and I picked one and then only after did I realise they’d charged me for it, but she made it sound like an option, like rice or chips which I’d already picked. So no, YANBU but either is your DH really because they probably tricked him.

YABU.

I thought your post was going to be about the staff at the place in that you'd ordered a sandwich and they'd assumed you wanted a side and charged you for it. However, it sounds like you let your DH go and order your food, you didn't make clear you didn't want it alone, so when the staff asked he chose something for you. It's £1.50 so I think you're overreacting. You need to order in future.

Wow 🤣🤣🤣

It's a hot fuss about nothing, innit?

100% 😆