AIBU to not want them to drop in randomly to watch trains?

[FlatPat]

I’ve recently moved to a home that’s close to a train station and opposite the track. A friend and her son who is autistic(As am I) have randomly appeared to see X or Y train. Most of the trains that pass are your standard passenger or freight trains but we do have a few better/well known ones passing through.

I don’t mind them visiting the odd time with advance warning but not just dropping in randomly especially as you can go to the train station to see them pass through or get almost the same view from elsewhere though I appreciate it’s more comfortable sitting in someone’s living room.

AIBU to gently suggest that they go to the train station instead?

TIA

@TatianasCabbagePie "You must already know what a sometimes bleak and hostile place the world can be for autistic people. Why not try to be accommodating to your friend and her son? Your other option is to tell them to piss of to the station and not darken your door again. You and your friend will each have one friend less and an autistic boy/man will find out that what he thought was a rare positive in his life is as shit as the rest of it."

I can only assume that you have an open house for people with disabilities then? And that you have no objection to them randomly dropping in and sitting in your lounge for hours? I would hate to think that you made the world a more bleak and hostile place by not accommodating every such request.

Have you told her? Next time you see her just say that you do enjoy their company but please could they call before popping over as that would make you more comfortable. I am sure she will
understand.

Does the station have barriers? Just wondering if they’d have to pay for a ticket to enter the platform. Trainspotters frequent a barrier free station near where I live for this reason. I don’t think you’re BU if they keep coming unannounced and it’s often. Just request they let you know in advance and also don’t do it too much.

Oh don’t talk rubbish! Of course it doesn’t.

It did to me, i'm afraid.

Still, the op has explained and ive wished her well

Ohhh cop yourself on. The OP has been nothing but kind. This is a YOU problem.

You’re clearly projecting here

No. There are no barriers. Admittedly one side isn’t as good for watching trains as the other as there’s only shelter on the side with the ticket office. I think that it is more comfortable to watch them here which I understand as I can get a great view sitting here in my chair but I can’t accommodate them unexpectedly. I’m happy to get her son’s favourite snacks in and let him enjoy watching the trains for an hour or two twice a month say if I am given notice. And I don’t mind him bringing a friend if he wishes but I do need to draw some boundaries.

I think you should cop yourself on

I said the op came across as goady and having used aibu, it really isnt an inconceivable way of thinking

I dont really know what more you want out of me tbh, I've wished the op well and youre still quoting me - you have the problem

From having used aibu and seen these god awful threads? Well yes, i called the thread out based on my own experiences

‘Called out’ says it all

Going to reveal a secret here, Real time trains and Traksy are good websites to have an idea of where trains are, Traksy shows real time movements of trains so you can see what's on its way and when it will be passing. (Also handy to use as a passenger and see whats holding your train up 😂)
But you definitely need to have a kind word with your friend, she may genuinely not see what the issue is and may think she can keep her son happy and see a friend without realising the inconvenience it can cause to you.

You were the only goady one, OP comes across as a kind, considerate, lovely person and you tried to make it out to be something it's not. You have a serious chip on your shoulder and the whole thread think so too.

This not my first time on aibu, I will survive the thread disagreeing with me 🙄

I dont think its goady to be tired of threads intending to have a dig at disabled autistic people. Its awful to experience, and thats where I am coming from

I have responded to the op wishing her well though, not sure what you hope to gain by continuously quoting me

You aren’t being unreasonable. Your compromise of couple of times a month is very generous. Out of curiosity, how often do they show up?

YANBU, I absolutely hate people dropping in unannounced, nip it in the bud by telling her you don’t like it or don’t answer the door when she knocks, hopefully she’ll get the message.

Mum to abutistic son here and I wouldn’t dream of dropping in someone’s living room to watch a train ! Come on !
just tell them you are busy

HOW you could ever "get" that from this thread is beyond me. The OP is autistic.

If you've told her pretty explicitly and she's still not hearing you I think you have to bite the bullet and ignore the buzzer sometimes - you must know when you're expecting a package so if you aren't expecting anything, ignore. Let her find out for herself what happens if she doesn't bother to call ahead/arrange in advance. Sometimes that is the only way people learn.

Just tell your friend its easier they go to the station if she asks you in advance just say your parents are over or don't answer .
That generally says no in a nutshell.
I don't know anyone who would think this is ok.

As explained previously, the goady threads often have an 'i am autistic' or 'i know someone autistic' chucked in there for good measure - its horrible to witness posters coming together to rant about their thinly veiled dislike for disabled people.

Still, again, I have responded directly to the op to wish them well - it is tough to know how to handle various circumstances sometimes

Your post comes across as goady and an attempt to get people to pile onto the OP ....

I disagree, as i've said above, another thread piling on the disabled is not needed which was the point of my post.

How is she bashing autistic people? Ridiculous comment. She’s bashing a woman who is being rude and turning up unnecessarily and without prior warning. 🙄🙄

Well if you read the full thread, ive explained, multiple times, where I am coming from

Maybe have a read through?