Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you privately judge women who’ve had a high number of sexual partners?

131 replies

Ilostallthepens · Today 10:34

If they’d slept with, say 50-60 men? Even if you claim publicly to not judge them, would you secretly? Would you judge a lesbian who’d slept with 50-60 women? If you did would it be in a different kind of judgement that you had for the straight woman? And would you judge a man who’d slept with 50-60 women? And would this be a different kind of judgement?

OP posts:
nam3c4ang3 · Today 13:57

This again?! We had one last week about this!

QuintadosMalvados · Today 13:59

What do you mean by judge? It's no skin off my nose so I don't care.
There is one aspect about it that annoys me and that's when women boast about it.
It's not an achievement as the vast majority of men aren't that fussy.
It doesn't really work in reverse as more women are more fussy.
I guess this is where the stud vs slut dynamic comes in.

But no I wouldn't feel any less about the person unless I suppose I was getting into a relationship with them-even then it would be unease, like am I number 51- not judgement- but as I'm heterosexual that's irrelevant

bestcatlife · Today 14:13

No I would not.

I would personally judge a man with a high number of sexual partners more than a woman.

Charlize43 · Today 14:23

I am just reading about Kay Francis, a Hollywood actress, very big in the 1930s, and I have lost count of the number of abortions she's had, after 8. She kept diaries throughout her life with entries like; 'Maurice Chevalier fucked me 4 times in 2 hours'... and she seems to have had countless partners.

I suppose it is more surprise & prurient interest than judging them! It's always interesting to read about how other women have led their lives. Kay Francis reminds me of Tallulah Bankhead, as both women seem to be very much into non emotional recreational sex and were bisexual. Then there are other Hollywood actresses like Joan Crawford & Bette Davis who used sex as power and would ensure that they slept with their directors so they could gain some control over the production and especially over the other actresses in it. Marlene Dietrich had sex with everyone, but especially her co-stars as she needed her leading men to be in love with her. During WWII she was on the frontline servicing the soldiers as she felt that they 'should have the chance to sleep with a beautiful movie star before going to their death....' As revealed by her daughter, Maria. Dietrich's reasons seemed to have been narcissistic, as she later claimed to her daughter that she didn't even like sex!

As a teenage ex convent schoolgirl we were all obsessed with the erotic writer Anais Nin, who was really popular in the 1980s and some sort of feminist icon. It was very, very racy at the time... Later it was revealed that she'd been a bigamist, had wrote about knowingly committing incest with her father as an adult women ('seducing' her father, she called it!). Later her second husband, Rupert, released the unedited diaries (Nin edited them extensively for publication removing all references to the fact that she'd been married and her first husband, Hugo, a wealthy banker had bankrolled her artistic lifestyle) and it painted a different picture. Reading these versions in the 2000s, I'll admit that when she writes about walking the street of NY with the semen of three different men inside her on her way to meet a 4th lover, I am revolted. It all seemed rather pathological as if she went through her life using sex as a form of validation and for narcissistic reasons or she that may have been a nymphomaniac. Then she was compelled to write it all down.

Perhaps it is not the sex itself but to speculate about the reason behind that is more interesting. A lot of these studio actresses in the 1930s were working a six day week in a factory style production churning out film after film, so you could also argue that the sex was a form of physical release. There was also a degree of narcissism, especially if your employer is promoting you as a 'love goddess' or 'femme fatale.'

Even today, it is interesting that some women need constant male attention while others are happy with Wordle.

mindutopia · Today 14:32

I honestly have no idea how many sexual partners my woman friends have had. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Is that a topic of conversation that comes up often? I have one particular friend who I know has certainly slept with a lot, I’d guess a couple hundred if I was a betting woman. She is an absolute drunken hot mess who has never consistently held down a job because she truly refuses to get out of bed before 11am.

I do judge her for being such a hot mess, but I don’t care how many people she’s had sex with. She was my MOH (so I’m obviously quite fond of her, despite her messiness) and famously had sex with a male friend of Dh and I on the sofa of my family’s holiday cottage after my wedding. My 60 something year old auntie tossed a condom down the stairs to them. My auntie was herself off on a European grand tour after and clearly had come well stocked, which brought me so much joy. 😂

TomatoSandwiches · Today 14:35

No I don't care, I just hope they were all consensual, safe and happy encounters.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread