Do you privately judge women who’ve had a high number of sexual partners?

[Ilostallthepens]

If they’d slept with, say 50-60 men? Even if you claim publicly to not judge them, would you secretly? Would you judge a lesbian who’d slept with 50-60 women? If you did would it be in a different kind of judgement that you had for the straight woman? And would you judge a man who’d slept with 50-60 women? And would this be a different kind of judgement?

Nothing to do with me. Genuinely do not care.

Never?! Not something I discuss often but when I was in my 20s with friends, it was definitely brought up more than once! And a few partners have asked or I’ve asked them. Not because they or I care, just because sometimes it’s interesting or funny to talk about past sexual experiences

Pushing 40 and have also never talked about number of sexual partners with anyone. I have no idea how many my husband has had, for example. It’s just not a topic I find interesting (or think is any of my business).

I’ve certainly had conversations with people about specific sexual experiences, but that’s not quite the same thing.

I really never want to know about other people's sex lives, yuck. Why would i?

Nope - it's not really something to judge is it? Consensual sex when you are free to enjoy it is hardly shameful for anyone. Why would having sex with 20 people be "worse" than with 2 people? There is nothing "better" about abstaining.... I've never understood why for a man or a woman that it is BAD to have lots of sex. I 100% judge cheaters though.

No. Although also I probably wouldn’t know because I don’t go around talking to people about their (or my) sexual activity.

i someone was talking to me a lot about all their sexual partners I think I might be a bit worried they were potentially vulnerable if I’m honest

It was never something I wanted to do, as I always wanted (and still want) to be in a committed relationship, but if others are ok with it, then up to them.

Regardless of sexuality.

Never asked as I don’t want to know.
Which implies it matters to me

… you’d be surprised. I knew a sex worker who had OCD (a victim of CSA). You do what you have to do to survive. 🤷‍♀️ People who already have trauma are often good at separating sex from their personal lives, and when that’s trauma-based, no, it’s not good.

But who’s going to fix it? Most societies treat sex workers like they’re the criminals, instead of the actual criminals (either traffickers or the men/women paying - there’s NO excuse, like it’s some huge fucking surprise that a gorgeous 18-year-old Slavic girl ISN’T sleeping with you at an Aberdeen petrol station for £100 of her own volition, Alan 🙄 I fucking loathe men who act as if they’re stupid about it).

(Apologies as I know this thread isn’t about sex work. I worked in spiritual support for a while and met an absolutely incredible amount of sexually traumatized adults, many of them such lovely men and women that society had ignored when they were abused/trafficked/SAed/raped).

Also, this is just my take, but “splattered with body fluids” is something we say about a couch cushion or crime scene, not another human being. It’s not a cattle brand; everything from semen to shit to blood washes off and you are no more “dirty” than you were before.

I agree with you re boasting: what if the woman was sleeping with women? Arguably that would be more of an 'achievement'.

 'Slut' is unfair though: it may not be hard for a woman to sleep with many men but ut doesn't make it bad. Anymore than a gay Ken sleeping with a lot of men is bad.

No. Though people who are very interested are imo usually jealous of a life may be less lived. We are all young and lovely once. Enjoying that with other people is not terrible, or very surprising.

I assume you mean judge negatively.

As long as these were not actions that broke up relationships then who am I to judge?
Having said that it would not suit me. I feel the need for some other connection with a man before sex would be on the cards. But each to their own as long as they do no harm.

I suppose that if a woman had a high number of female sexual partners then, according to my logic, it would be an achievement.

I - briefly-fell out with a (heterosexual female) friend over this.
She was going on about how many men she'd 'had' like it was an achievement.
Apparently I was saying she was immoral by saying it wasn't.
I really, really wasn't - I was just saying that it wasn't an achievement.
Should have just said nothing but we'd had a few drinks.