Do you privately judge women who’ve had a high number of sexual partners?

[Ilostallthepens]

If they’d slept with, say 50-60 men? Even if you claim publicly to not judge them, would you secretly? Would you judge a lesbian who’d slept with 50-60 women? If you did would it be in a different kind of judgement that you had for the straight woman? And would you judge a man who’d slept with 50-60 women? And would this be a different kind of judgement?

“Judge” as in consider morally inferior? No.

”Judge” as in make inferences about them? Yes.

The thing about inferences: we’re making them all the time about pretty much everything.

The other thing about inferences: they’re often right (see stereotype accuracy research).

The final thing: they’re often wrong too.

I think the above three statements are all true, and virtually everyone behaves as if all three of the above statements are true too, whatever they may say.

How would i know?
I have been married 20 years
I slept with my fair share of men when young and single but its not somthing that ever comes up in conversation.

I need a good editor. What I mean is that drawing inferences is inevitable, healthy, often true and often misleading. And that people who claim not to are usually just not accurately describing how they behave in real life.

No I dont judge on their number male or female I don't think that is relevant to who they are as a person.

How they speak and behave around x partners however I have judged around.

I’d judge if they were targeting married men but otherwise crack on and enjoy.

That question would be a friendship ender for me.

I can't understand why anyone would think they had the right to ask. There are few greater intrusions in to one's privacy.

No, I don't care how many people anyone has slept with, regardless of gender.

What’s your AIBU?

No. I’ve met men who claim to have slept with over 100 women and say it very very proudly. I didn’t necessarily judge them, I just thought well, provided it was all consensual, safe and they had fun… I’d think the exact same thing about women.

I guess the only issue with doing this as a woman is the higher risk of pregnancy so it pays to have fewer partners for that reason. Yes contraception but it isn’t foolproof.

No

I think I’d judge someone who I felt was showing off about it, like they somehow thought it was adding to their personal value or something. I might be wary about going into a relationship with someone who had a history of only short term hookups if that’s not what I was after. But if I happened to find out via a non-boasting type method, then no worries, good for them, everyone is allowed their own lives.

Lol, it sound like you are judging Andie McDowell for what her character did in a movie!

I’m really curious as to the thought process about it being grim ? Do often have little judgy thoughts?

Wouldn't the simplest assumption be that they'd met twice as many men as you, not that their standards were half as high?

Oh dear OP have you ever known anyone on MN post anything judgemental.
The whole thing would be preposterous.
😉😁😂.

And having teeth, and how she smiles.

I probably wouldn't know; it's not really my-business.

I would inwardly judge them IF and ONLY IF they were repeatedly cheating on a partner, or trying to get others to cheat on their partners, Otherwise, up to them.

Honestly, I'd think it was gross if anyone, male or female, had slept with lots of people. I don't spend much time thinking about random people's sexual history, though, so unless I'm considering a relationship with someone or they bring it up themselves, it likely wouldn't cross my mind.

When I was younger, I probably would have judged. Now I’ve lived a bit longer and had more sex, no, not at all. Sorry to those who were unknowingly judged by me in the past.

A lot of the people who are claiming "no I would not judge", I think would react differently if they heard that the person they had started dating had had sex with 60 people or more.

I certainly woukd ask myself if:

• that person is only able to have casual sex and struggles with anything more meaningful
• whether they are low standards in term of they choose
• whether they lack self esteem ans somehow use sex to try to validate themselves.

That applies to women and men.

So although ultimately I think people are free to have as many partners as they want, I also know that I would not find them suitable for a relationship with me.

No.
I don't give a shit how many people anyone has slept with. i cant imagine a situation where I would even ask that question. (I have never even asked my husband and he has never asked me)

No. I don't know how many partners other women have had. I don't ask anyone and I have no interest in knowing that about anyone I might be seeing.

I think there's a whole lot of valid analysis around the pressure to say no becoming the pressure to say yes, and the reason many women had a lot one night stands that they now regret etc, but I don't judge the number in itself.

Yes I judge them but not in a negative light
absolutely fair play to them each to there own

Weirdly, we have had a spate of this type of question in the last week or so. The fact that this question is asked only about woman is very revealing as to the attitudes of posters.

Knowing most men, I can't think of 60 I have met that I would happily sleep with, so I would assume the woman has very low standards

This is pretty much how I think. My social circle are far from the dreads of society, however most men I have met and then dated, I don’t consider worthy or good enough to sleep with me (because of their attitude and how they treat/talk to me, their lifestyle..) I can only imagine women who have had 60 sexually partners have a very low bar. There’s more low quality disrespectful men than there are good ones.