Do you privately judge women who’ve had a high number of sexual partners?

[Ilostallthepens]

If they’d slept with, say 50-60 men? Even if you claim publicly to not judge them, would you secretly? Would you judge a lesbian who’d slept with 50-60 women? If you did would it be in a different kind of judgement that you had for the straight woman? And would you judge a man who’d slept with 50-60 women? And would this be a different kind of judgement?

Why would I and how the fuck would it be my business, or yours come to that.

Nope. As long as it's consensual and safe I really couldn't care less how many sexual partners someone's had.

I definitley haven’t met 60 men I’d want to sleep with in the last 15 years, but when I was in my late teens and early twenties I probably met about 5 I fancied and would potentially sleep with if we started dating every night out I had (and I had lots of nights out!) the sad thing is I wasted this fun youth being faithful to one man for a decade and we broke up in late 20s after he had office affair!

Why would anyone be telling me that information in the first place? I don’t care how many people anyone has slept with. I don’t even know my husbands number and he doesn’t know mine because we don’t care.

Are we still at school? No one would know how many men I’ve slept with, it’s not something I discuss with people or broadcast for snide people like you to ‘privately judge’ I mean why do you even care? It doesn’t cross my mind how many people other people have had sex with?.,not ever.
I think you need to get a life, start worrying about your own life and leave other people to do what they want, I find mumsnet so bizzare at times with these posts.

I suppose I judge women a bit more for it, for the simple reason that most women I know are amazing, and I can understand why men would want to sleep with them. But most men I know aren't.

I've been fortunate to be considered good-looking in my youth. I only wanted to sleep with men that I found good-looking, clever, funny and nice. I think I've met about 30 men that would meet these criteria in my whole life, so I would assume that women who have slept with 60+ men are just shagging anyone with a pulse, taking their pick from the local disgusting, ugly/nasty/misogynist/thick-as-fuck/small cocked/lazy and useless takings. Which I would look down on them a bit for, yes.

Almost all the women I know are good-looking, funny, nice, hard-working and clever. Much more so than the men, anyway. So I can understand men trying to shag most of them. But saying that, I wouldn't touch a man who had slept with 50+ women either, rancid.

Who are these people who share their bodycount and why? That should be the question.

Each to their own, however I’ve an acquaintance who by her own admission states she’s had more pricks in her than a dartboard!

No. Why would i?

Yes it's gross. Both men and women. Everyone has different values/morals and different outlooks on how they view themselves though. We all know those types that have been through the whole town or put it about everywhere really easily.

Nope. I wish I'd had more sexual partners before I met my DH.

Personally, I have thoughts about any woman, gay or straight, who struggles with the number of sexual partners they’ve had - men NEVER ask each other these questions. If you suspect a friend is “using” sex in an unhealthy way, talk to them. But as someone else pointed out, by age 50, that’s less than two partners a year since age 16. So… you’re talking about any woman who hasn’t had a lot of long-term relationships; that’s what you’re REALLY judging. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s possible that men who are serial monogamists do more emotional damage than women who are considered “promiscuous.”

Because think about it - you usually have no idea how many partners anyone has had. There are parent association mums who did sex work as teens. What’s even worse is that it’s not always about sexual freedom. We know that some women deal with being raped or sexually assaulted by having a period with numerous sexual partners afterwards. If someone doesn’t judge my life choices, I’m not about to judge theirs. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

OP, if this is related to you somehow, your life and your body are not worth more or less whether you’ve slept with one person or 1,563. Anyone who tells you differently is full of shite. As someone else pointed out, it only matters if it’s affecting your mental health, and I’ve found that is often affected by quality of partners, not number. If you’re struggling with any feelings about your sexuality or sexual experiences, please, ask for support (here even - MNers will help you find organizations that can help). No one should be worried about the judgment of others, but of course we all do sometimes. It’s fucking hard to be human!

I do agree, but the description of ‘body count’ is vile.

If anyone asked me that I’d judge them on that basis more than any number I wouldn’t give them anyway.

Yes. I wouldn’t want a relationship with a man who’d had 50 or 60 sexual partners and I wouldn’t expect a man to want a relationship with a woman who’d slept with that many men.

Nope. I couldn’t give a single fuck.

I’m neutral I just don’t think about it and if I do I have no opinion. I sort of just never really consider how often other people use their genitalia like I don’t think about how much other people use their legs for walking etc etc

Yes.

How on Earth would you even know? No one knows how many people I've slept with apart from me. It's hardly something that comes up in conversation!

Not at all

Nope, I could not care less, as long as it was all consensual then why would it matter to me or anyone else?

It really does in some people’s conversations.

Yes, I would. If it was getting on for 100ish then I would assume she had psych issues and would wonder if she had any STDs. It's not just women- I would think the exact same thing of men and I would find it a massive turn off to date a man with that number too.

Condoms are not 100% effective so I would wonder if he would be likely to pass something on to me. This isnt about moral judgment its factual that the higher the number of partners you've had the more likely you are are to have been exposed to various STDs

I really couldn’t care less. It’s not my vagina

It is very telling that this phrase is used for both sex and violence; of course, a higher body count is considered negative (obviously!) in violence and they want you to make that same connection about sex. I hate this for any of us. You’ve had sexual partners, not a body count. Those people aren’t dead (well, mostly); they’re alive out there and hopefully happy and healthy in themselves.

Nope