Do you privately judge women who’ve had a high number of sexual partners?

[Ilostallthepens]

If they’d slept with, say 50-60 men? Even if you claim publicly to not judge them, would you secretly? Would you judge a lesbian who’d slept with 50-60 women? If you did would it be in a different kind of judgement that you had for the straight woman? And would you judge a man who’d slept with 50-60 women? And would this be a different kind of judgement?

Over what period of time? 12 months? 50 years?

No, of course not. What people do in the privacy of their bedrooms is none of my business.

I’d make judgements about them compared to me. For example that they were quite trusting of others to put themselves into vulnerable situations with people they didn’t know well.
I’d think that they probably were less inclined to think a lot about health issues and worry about them.

I do remember being mildly taken aback when a friend I used to house share with would come home after a trip (we were cabin crew) and say, ‘I had a fuck!’ with a satisfied grin, when I knew her fuckee was a notorious (but admittedly very attractive) married man who’d once left a note under my hotel room door - ‘The door is open, come and kiss me goodnight’.

Admittedly I was tempted, but…

Other than that, people didn’t usually tell you, but I was a bit askance while watching Four Weddings and A Funeral when Andie McDowell (?) spent several minutes enumerating to Hugh Grant all the 30 odd blokes she’d slept with. And that was portrayed as an admirable thing.
I just hoped she’d got herself tested for STDs.

TBH I found Andie McD very annoying anyway - too many teeth that she was IMO too fond of displaying.

Ive had loads and still doing it.
Want to judge me on a number could not care what you think.

2 different men a year on the basis that there was no long term relationship.

I don’t care what anyone does, so not ‘judging’ but this wouldn’t appeal to me in a partner at all (men).

Nope. I judge people who judge them though, given it doesn't affect them in any way.

No- how would I know and why would I care?

I do think some people (not all) who have lots of short term things or ONSs are doing it from a place of unhappiness, but I’d worry about them rather than judging them.

It wouldn't appeal to me in a man and therefore I guess I would be judging.

No of course not.

No. I’m curious as to why anyone would.

I wouldn't judge as such but something in my brain would be saying "eurgh, yuck". But the same for men as well as women.

What amuses me about these threads is that there are lots of people saying oh so what, good for them about being splattered with body fluids of many strange people. And on other threads people have their washing machines thundering away constantly because they can't cope with using their own bath towel to dry themselves with more than once. I'm assuming these aren't the same people ...

No. I do judge both boys and girls who start having sex in their early teens though. I accept that’s a me thing but I’ve felt that way since I was in my early teens.

No

How would I even know?

If they were telling me or talking loudly about how many people they’d slept with, I’d be more likely to judge that, than the actual number of people they’d slept with. Why would they need to share that information?

Why do want to know? Have you slept with loads of people op?

First boyfriend 16-18
Uni years, a couple of short term boyfriends, a few flings/ONS (lets say 7 total)
LTR 22-27
Dating for a while, lets say 5 short relationships
Married 31-36, two kids, divorced
Enjoying single life, maybe another 5 dates/short term flings
40, new boyfriend for a couple of years
next decade - several relationships of 6-12 months

Now you're 52, kids have left home, maybe you've met husband number 2 - but still have 30-40 previous partners.
I wouldn't find that shocking at all.

Nope.

My 'body count' is quite high as when I got divorced I had a period of being wild and free and loved every moment. My boyfriend also has also slept with a lot of women - he was a dj in his 20s and had lots of one night stands. As long as tbeyre all consensual, both parties are happy and when you are in a relationship you are loyal to one another, someone's sexual past doesn't bother me.

Do actually ask people this question because I wouldn't have a clue how many people my friends have slept with? Unless your one of those judgy people who think its ok to ask your single friends about their love life when you wouldn't dream of asking your married friends.

No, because I wouldn't ask them in the 1st place.

As long as their activities are legal and not hurting anyone, it really isn't my business how other people choose to live their lives, so no, I don't judge.

If it was someone who I cared about, then I think I would want to check that they were ok, but if I was satisfied that they were actively choosing to lead that lifestyle and happy with their choices, then that would be the end of it.

In fairness & in my own experience lots of people are quite open about it! Two of my friends in particular always talk about their flings/ONS, everybody who knows them knows their number without asking because it is something they openly share.

In my old office there were a few men who would quite proudly on a Monday morning announce to everyone in the vicinity what they “bumped their number” up to over the weekend despite 99% of the people not even responding or joining that conversation, it was just like part of their Monday routine!

Yes I would.

How on earth would you know? The kind of person who goes about bragging about that - notches on the bedpost? - is likely to be a bit of an idiot anyway. So I'd judge them for being an idiot in general, not for their number of "partners".

I do judge the mum in Mama Mia though! She doesn't know who the father is and there are three possibles? Yes, I judge her, and the men, for not taking precautions!

My boyfriend when I was 20 had slept with 30+ so I wouldn't judge no. I don't really get it as sleeping around has no appeal to me, but I don't really care and they've probably got a few funny stories to tell.

This!