To hate remote wedding venues with no overnight accommodation at them

[CurdinHenry]

Unless the wedding party provide a coach then it's fine

...but don't you know, it's all about "their dream wedding"... 🫪 It's selfish and crass to put every single thing above the comfort of guests, but badly raised people don't consider this.

They cover it up with one free glass of pish prosecco each and a fucking photo booth full of cardboard props. While obligingly smiling grandma slowly wilts in the corner on a rock hard conference room type chair with a ribbon on it, eating her chunk of melon and sliver of salmon, after hour 75 of the "photo shoot" involving only 14% of the guests. And the credit card debt continues to rack. FUN

(Pessimistic, judgemental, yes, but I'm finished with the cookie cutter weddings and their money wishing wells and it's such a relief)

I couldn’t agree more. I still have bad memories of a wedding I went to where we got stranded at the venue at the end of the night and my partner and I had to wait for two hours outside in the pitch black car park for the only taxi driver who worked in the area. Longest two hours of my life!

I have a sliding scale of how much cost / inconvenience I will suffer for a wedding/ event.
parent/child/sibling - anything
close old friends - uk and Europe
extended close family/good friends- uk only
extended family/friends- within a couple hours from my house or easy location
people I’m less close to/ work colleagues- my town only

Meh, not convenient but can’t really get upset about it. It’s their choice and as an adult I have a beautiful thing, called free will. So if it’s a real pain in the arse I just decline, but more likely one of us will just drive, problem solved.

The only weddings we have travelled to have been where the couple live, so not really a "destination wedding". We just happen to not live anywhere near any family.

This is the reason I chose to have my wedding in a city. Great public transport links and parking available for people who didn’t want to stay. Lots of hotel options if they did. A wedding is about guests as well as the bride and groom imo.

I agree. It is rather narcissistic to prioritise a venue over the guests. A wedding should be about getting married, not about Instagram photos.

It is perfectly possible to find a lovely venue that is convenient for the guests.

I have one this year. Rural hotel about 30m from a town I don’t know and about 3 hrs from where the couple and most family live. Wedding is Saturday midday.
So if we stay only the Saturday it’s a 3 hr drive all dressed up and then park car at hotel in town and find a taxi to venue. Or not have a drink all day. Plus leaving really early in either case to allow for traffic.
So we have to stay two nights to be there on the Saturday. And pack all wedding gear and get ready at hotel.
Weddings are exhausting. If I have a drink in the day I really want a room to escape to for a power nap before the long evening. But all the hotel rooms are occupied by close family (plus are £250/night).

My cousins have form for having weddings at quirky remote places in the back of beyond, hundreds of mikes from most peoples homes (sometimes including their own) no public transport links . I’m afraid I send my apologies and don’t attend

We have a wedding like this next year but at least the happy couple have booked out a hotel and laid on buses to take us there.

Yep, DH's friends wedding is at a lake with very pretty views. Only on site accommodation is fully booked by the wedding party (and starts at £450/night uncatered with minimum 2 night stay).

It's in the arse end of beyond with zero taxis willing to come to the area, no campsites or B&Bs within 15 miles and no public transport.

We're not going I'm afraid!

We're invited to a wedding end of this month.
Midmorning at the registry office, followed by drinks and lunch somewhere nice. Perfect. 👌

Totally agree and I would add birthday parties to this. Just have your event somewhere accessible! I don’t go if it’s not possible to travel by public transport / stay over easily.

It’s incredibly thoughtless if the ‘happy’ couple

Yeah, God knows why people do this. But I’m old school and like a ‘ceremony/reception/done’ setup without an evening do, which no doubt will upset people who won’t want to travel just for that maybe.

I would only go to an event like that for my child, my stepchildren or at a push a sibling.

This is the only kind of wedding I go to now.

I'm so over sitting with other people's aunts talking about how much energy the page boy has.

If they want to prioritise their dream wedding over their guests inconvenience then that's their choice. It's my choice to disrespect them for doing so.

I’ll be declining a relative’s wedding invitation as the nearest accommodation is “onsite” and will cost £300 per night. We’ll need two nights due to the distance and 2 days off work too. Not really close enough to warrant spending £1000 for someone’s wedding by the time we’ve added present and petrol.

Our wedding anniversary today, 29 years. Or wedding was at local registry office, and then a coach to take guests from our house to venue.

My cousin is having one of these weddings, complete with co-ordinated prescribed colour scheme for bridal and groom party. Also it's a 3pm wedding so "she only has to feed everyone once". Said venue does not have onsite catering so you have to book your own caterers so she's having a burger van. She also having a child and baby free wedding (fair enough) but many of her invited guests have children under 5 (both sets of siblings and cousins, plus 3 bridesmaids and 2 of the groomsmen all have young children), most of the couples invited friends are either currently pregnant and due to give birth offer the summer or have had babies this year- wedding is in October.

The venue is right in the middle of no-where, not near anyone's house. The nearest person lives 2 hours away. The nearest village has 15 houses in it and the nearest place with any BnB or overnight accommodation is a 35 minute drive down 1 track country lanes away. The nearest hotel is 50 minutes away again down country roads until you get to the main road. The venue has put some little 1 bed cabins on site for £250 a night and breakfast is an added extra of £15.95 per person.

She is baffled as to why so many people have declined an invitation to her wedding. It would be a 6 hour round trip for us to go, plus it's child free and I have a young baby so we are not going. My aunty is planning on stopping in her motorhome. Most of the other guests who are planning on going have all said they will go but will be leaving around 7 o clock due to long drives home or in order to navigate the country roads (mainly the older drivers).

She would have been far better off using a pretty much identical venue (in terms of what she wants - man made water fall in the grounds, gardens, insta worthy drive) that is 30 mins from her house and is a 10 minute drive from a large town which has Travelodge, premier inn, multiple bnbs and the venue also has onsite rooms. Her reason is she doesn't want to get married close to her house, fair enough but at the moment she's booked a wedding for 80 guests and only has 20 coming and 2 of those might not come as their baby is due the week after the wedding.

Yes, DD is doing this and it’s a wonderful venue. Good value hotels in town 2 miles away and coaches being provided. No dc but hardly anyone has them and those that do want to escape for a night or two! It’s really about money and whether you value the effort being put in and the event. It’s just blessing, food and a cocktail hour and party til the early hours. All is way less cost to guests than going abroad as many brides do. Most are coming so 160 day and 30 more in the evening - it will be a great party! People are free not to come, and most are coming from London, but it’s a spectacular setting and DD and her fiance seem popular.

£15 for breakfast isn’t bad. I cannot believe people cannot drive in the country! What a load of wimps! Luckily our venue has a wide avenue as its approach so maybe that encourages people to go? Or maybe it’s just going to be a great wedding with no gimmicks! Just a grade 1 venue in a spectacular setting. What’s not to like?

Why don't people just refuse to go? It is selfish and inconsiderate, so I'd be making my excuses.

Has anyone told her just how inconvenient and expensive it is for the guests?

Agree. A lot of my decisions made about my wedding were whether it would be good or not for my guests. I am a bit of a people pleaser but I knew I wouldn’t enjoy my day if I felt like my guests secretly thought the day had been a bit of a chore.

The wedding I'm going to is £50 each way in a cab and I'm anxious it might not turn up or be snaffled by another guest (don't let me down value cabs!)