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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate remote wedding venues with no overnight accommodation at them

181 replies

CurdinHenry · 03/05/2026 06:54

Unless the wedding party provide a coach then it's fine

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 04/05/2026 09:17

"Just get an air bnb"...

Yep, booked one for my partner's nephew's wedding at the other end of the country from us, so booked it for 3 nights. A fortnight before the date - and it was 2 days after my mother died - got an email cancelling it (I assumed the owner got a longer booking, so binned us off).

Cue much frantic Internet activity to find something else - which turned out to be the only vacancy within 30 miles of the venue, at a hotel costing twice as much as the original place.

RampantIvy · 04/05/2026 09:22

My DMIL has since said it upset her, not seeing us get married, oh dear-what a shame!

On the other side of the coin - as the parent of an adult DD, I would be sad not to see her get married. What a shame!

Hamela · 04/05/2026 09:31

@SingedSoul Interestingly, you're dead right. I was indeed badly raised, to be selfish and crass.

But I realised all this, as soon as I was free of that influence and alone in my late teens. Worked on it, I did 😂 ...but importantly, never enough to fully lose the healthy observation skills and mild cynicism that is important to protect us from feeling like we've just paid £750 for a basic hotel room as a captive audience with no choice, kindly used up holiday days, abandoned kids because they aren't welcome, got a new outfit for the obscure "theme", and trekked across dire empty countryside in million-pound taxis to attend someone else's dream.

I love my friends and I do it. But I can voice my stressors, on a public forum.

And I clearly recognise a wedding where hours of boring discomfort are not mitigated by the hosts merely chucking a cheap sweetie stall or a cardboard cut out Instagram booth at the guests, to try and hide that they skimped on making their so called loved ones feel comfortable, whilst choosing weird obscure impossible locations or spending £££ on other less important parts of the do. A do that realistically costs each guest significant time and money to attend.

That's what is crass, not my observations on what is currently provided at 85%+ of all weddings over the past decade. Did your cardboard cutout booth not go down well at your do..? 😘

SingedSoul · 04/05/2026 09:49

Hamela · 04/05/2026 09:31

@SingedSoul Interestingly, you're dead right. I was indeed badly raised, to be selfish and crass.

But I realised all this, as soon as I was free of that influence and alone in my late teens. Worked on it, I did 😂 ...but importantly, never enough to fully lose the healthy observation skills and mild cynicism that is important to protect us from feeling like we've just paid £750 for a basic hotel room as a captive audience with no choice, kindly used up holiday days, abandoned kids because they aren't welcome, got a new outfit for the obscure "theme", and trekked across dire empty countryside in million-pound taxis to attend someone else's dream.

I love my friends and I do it. But I can voice my stressors, on a public forum.

And I clearly recognise a wedding where hours of boring discomfort are not mitigated by the hosts merely chucking a cheap sweetie stall or a cardboard cut out Instagram booth at the guests, to try and hide that they skimped on making their so called loved ones feel comfortable, whilst choosing weird obscure impossible locations or spending £££ on other less important parts of the do. A do that realistically costs each guest significant time and money to attend.

That's what is crass, not my observations on what is currently provided at 85%+ of all weddings over the past decade. Did your cardboard cutout booth not go down well at your do..? 😘

You're really are a star in your own movie. I'm guessing the sequel will be even more disappointing 😘

Hamela · 04/05/2026 10:00

SingedSoul · 04/05/2026 09:49

You're really are a star in your own movie. I'm guessing the sequel will be even more disappointing 😘

Oh there won't be a sequel, I'll be dead, silly.

It never ceased to amaze me that posters come on to clearly marked threads (read the title of this thread 😂,)about a definite topic (moaning about weddings) and then attack people at random for... Moaning about weddings 😂😂

Thank you for your kind public service though (reminding me that the internet isn't real and I've wasted enough of my bank holiday talking to people with the deductive skills of a cardboard cut out). Enjoy your bank holiday!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/05/2026 10:03

Jupitercore · 03/05/2026 18:16

It's very rude not to consider your guests comfort. When we got married it was based in a city for ease of hotels ect, and we chose a bank holiday weekend, so people had an extra day to get themselves home and sorted for work. We put our guests first tbh, because there's no celebration without family and friends, and that was more important than the location tbh. So personally I wouldn't go to a remote wedding with no accommodation there.

But nobody is forced to attend.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 04/05/2026 10:12

@Mama2many73Why do you need a day off work? I can see you might if it’s hours away but most can get to weddings a couple of hours away or travel after work. I think people will sort things out if they want to go. Some people won’t want to bother, so they don’t go. I do think coaches work but if people want to go early, that’s down to them. However many events are not handy to where you might be staying. It’s just life!

QuintadosMalvados · 04/05/2026 10:20

It's really difficult to refuse an invite to a family wedding but I've done it once.
A cousin got married the other side of the UK.
It involved going away for two nights and a lot of hassle and expense.

We did it as the couple met in the area through work and lived in it so fair enough.

The couple divorce. The 'bride' moves home very near to us (and the rest of her family) and meets a local guy-whose family also live near us.

Crucially, there is no longer ANY real perceptible link to the area the bride and groom to the original wedding city. None whatsoever. Everybody would have been less inconvenienced had they married closer to home.

Nevertheless, for some reason, the wedding is held in the same town as the first.

Not only did I think this was a bit strange (though never said so) but it was a firm, immediate refusal.

Sorry, love, I know it's your wedding and you can do what you like but equally I think that you're taking the piss and I can politely refuse your kind invite.

QuintadosMalvados · 04/05/2026 10:25

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/05/2026 01:02

Here’s an idea. If you receive a wedding that doesn’t work for you (child free/distance/only being invited to the evening do etc) turn it down.

Then you don’t have to worry about going and the B&G can make sure that everyone who is there wants to be there.

There's some weddings people are obliged to attend. You know this, I know this and so does everybody else.

YourShyLion · 04/05/2026 10:29

I've no idea why anyone would want to stay over at a wedding venue unless they want to drink which is completely uneccessary. I'm in the car and off home. There's no way I'd stay over.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 04/05/2026 10:31

@QuintadosMalvadoswhat weddings are you obliged to attend? All are optional! Family can say no if they cannot manage the logistics. We also don’t invite people we don’t want to come! No one has to go!

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · 04/05/2026 10:33

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 03/05/2026 20:22

I agree. We did something crazy with ours and had it at a convenient location for our friends and family to get to and invited children.

Yeah madness isn't it to consider your guests in planning - it's so unusual tbh i do wonder what goes through people's heads

We had a city centre venue, laid on taxis between the register office and the reception.

15 minute walk to the mainline station, a hundred hotels within a mile, of varying budgets. Any guests with children, their children were invited (there weren't many, which I appreciate makes it easier).

Me and DH had been to so many country venues we were sick to death of the travel and expense (we didn't drive then) so we weren't going to do that to our guests.

QuintadosMalvados · 04/05/2026 10:36

YourShyLion · 04/05/2026 10:29

I've no idea why anyone would want to stay over at a wedding venue unless they want to drink which is completely uneccessary. I'm in the car and off home. There's no way I'd stay over.

I totally agree but drinking or not, unless you've got a private plane, if the venue is a long way away you might be facing an overnight drive. In this case, even if you're completely sober it's still a pain in the ass.

I'm at the point now where unless the wedding is within 20 miles of my house it's more hassle than its worth.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/05/2026 10:41

QuintadosMalvados · 04/05/2026 10:25

There's some weddings people are obliged to attend. You know this, I know this and so does everybody else.

No actually there aren’t. You have no obligation to attend any wedding. If it doesn’t work for you then don’t attend. It really is that simple.

QuintadosMalvados · 04/05/2026 10:42

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 04/05/2026 10:31

@QuintadosMalvadoswhat weddings are you obliged to attend? All are optional! Family can say no if they cannot manage the logistics. We also don’t invite people we don’t want to come! No one has to go!

Oh please this is really naive. For the sake of family relations, there ARE very much weddings people have to attend.

I'm not going to argue this further other than to say that half the time it would be easier if the couple bloody eloped or did it quietly down the register office with a few 'neutral' people like work colleagues. As witnesses just so that no family member in particular feels left out-or at least no more than any other family member/friends.

AppleTheStoolasMom · 04/05/2026 10:43

It’s a wedding not a summons!

EdinaTheConfessor · 04/05/2026 10:43

I missed a wedding reception as we checked into a hotel about 15 mins drive from the remote venue, in the expectation of being able to Uber there. No Ubers. No taxis, no public transport. I had already had a drink while waiting for the non existent Uber so couldn’t drive.
Everyone else I knew were already having been at the full day and they had no phone signal in said remote location so I could ask for any assistance.
Bloody nightmare and no warning on the invitation.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/05/2026 10:44

YourShyLion · 04/05/2026 10:29

I've no idea why anyone would want to stay over at a wedding venue unless they want to drink which is completely uneccessary. I'm in the car and off home. There's no way I'd stay over.

The most amazing wedding I attended was in a hotel a two hour train ride away, I don’t drive (I don’t drink either). It had the added bonus of being able to sneak up to the room every now and again if I was overwhelmed.

QuintadosMalvados · 04/05/2026 10:46

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/05/2026 10:41

No actually there aren’t. You have no obligation to attend any wedding. If it doesn’t work for you then don’t attend. It really is that simple.

I'm sorry but I totally disagree.

Bikenutz · 04/05/2026 10:49

My nephew’s wedding was in a remote location with no accommodation so they booked a minibus to shuttle guests from and to the nearest major town. Why don’t other couples do this? Surely it is common sense?

QuintadosMalvados · 04/05/2026 10:53

AppleTheStoolasMom · 04/05/2026 10:43

It’s a wedding not a summons!

Depends on 'who' s' doing the inviting.

If it's a not too close family member, a not close friend, acquaintance or work colleague then yeah, fair enough, it's an invite.

If it's a reasonably close family member, close friend then it IS very much a summons.

Tell you what, anybody disagreeing with me here try saying you're not going to attend your children's wedding (s) if you're invited then you can tell me whether it's an invite or not.

Half-joking but I hope you get the point.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/05/2026 11:00

QuintadosMalvados · 04/05/2026 10:53

Depends on 'who' s' doing the inviting.

If it's a not too close family member, a not close friend, acquaintance or work colleague then yeah, fair enough, it's an invite.

If it's a reasonably close family member, close friend then it IS very much a summons.

Tell you what, anybody disagreeing with me here try saying you're not going to attend your children's wedding (s) if you're invited then you can tell me whether it's an invite or not.

Half-joking but I hope you get the point.

But we are talking about not attending inconvenient weddings - surely for your child’s wedding, you wouldn’t have any resentment about the venue and enjoy attending?

In any case, assuming you have done a good job of raising your child, I’m sure they would be considerate of your needs in planning their wedding anyway

ERthree · 04/05/2026 11:04

BleedinglyObvious · 03/05/2026 12:47

Another one was a wedding in a castle in a city neither the bride & groom had any connection with that was about 130 miles from where they lived.

The marriage lasted about 2 years.

I always find the more expensive and grand the wedding, the quicker the divorce.

QuintadosMalvados · 04/05/2026 11:05

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 04/05/2026 11:00

But we are talking about not attending inconvenient weddings - surely for your child’s wedding, you wouldn’t have any resentment about the venue and enjoy attending?

In any case, assuming you have done a good job of raising your child, I’m sure they would be considerate of your needs in planning their wedding anyway

OK perhaps child is a bad example: replace it with first cousin. Or nephew or niece.

Simonjt · 04/05/2026 11:16

We got married in the city we lived in, some people had to travel so we booked and paid for their hotels.

A friend got married a couple of years ago in rural Wales, the nearest b&b had six rooms and was a 30 minute drive away, the nearest alternative was about 45 minutes. For us it was a 5-6 hour drive each way once we had landed in the UK, they moaned as they made the effort to come to our wedding, a wedding where they had go three stops on the tube from their house!

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