Friends going out and sending pics to the uninvited 😵‍💫

[BrownEyedLassie]

Can’t quite understand what’s going on here. Genuinely perplexed.

We are a group of 6 neighbours. We only know each other because we’re neighbours, no other connection besides that.

We have all known each other a number of years. We have a group chat where we chat and share photos etc. We go out a handful of times a year and have girly nights in too. But keep in touch every few days via the chat, and in person as we all live close, so see each other in the street.

Tonight, 2 of the women have gone out together. I certainly wasn’t invited and I know that the other women in the group are all at home alone. The 2 who are out, are sending multiple messages, photos and videos of the night out to the Group chat.

No idea what to make of it. I’m a bit 😵‍💫 as I’m sure the other women and me would have loved a night out rather than sitting in alone on a Saturday night.

What do you think is going on here?

I know everyone is entitled to do whatever they want. But it’s a bit odd, no? To exclude others and then send all the pics. It’s not something I would do.

I'd find it a bit sad. Nobody is interested in seeing pics or videos of other people's night out. I'd feel as if they were rubbing our noses in it but wouldn't rise to the bait

I remember we had a work's do 4 years ago, massive group of us. Somehow the woman organising it had a bit of beef with me only i wasn't aware. She took multiple pics of everyone except me, tagged everyone except me, worked her way round everyone except me and not only put all 50+ photos on the gc (many of the photos were pretty much identical) but put them all on Fb too. Like anyone who doesn't know us would be at all interested. Talk about attention seeking!

Not everything had to be??!!

This isn't work, or school, its two grown-up having a night out??

Who cares what they are up to on a night out? I mean I’m not interested in what my friends do socially if I’m not involved, so why did they bother posting in a group chat?
As for going out just the two of them - that’s perfectly reasonable. You aren’t an octopus that need to socialise all together all the time.

Agree it is just so childish.

i do think some people on here have limited social lives and struggle with understanding basic social rules. They feel that if there is 6 in a group, then there is some weird unwritten rule they can only do things as a 6 or not at all. Of course this isn’t the case, they also seem to feel that any group of mums at school and they are entitled to an invite to join, and if not invited it means they are a clique and excluding them. Which of course they are not.

i don’t know how people come to think these things. Maybe it’s a hangover from a childhood where friendships were difficult. I genuinely don’t know. Maybe it’s just limited social life and as such a lack of understanding on how social interaction works. Either way it’s not healthy.

I'd find it a bit sad. Nobody is interested in seeing pics or videos of other people's night out.

May I introduce you to Instagram? And Facebook? And SnapChat? And various other social media?

Awful lot of people wasting their time if no one is interesting in seeing pics or videos' of other people's nights out.

Yeah, but they're not full of people's nights out

@Dancingsquirrels I’m not stoking anything - neither would I do it in a way that would come across that way. That’s you saying that and@BrownEyedLassie is free to ignore or say ‘that wouldn’t work’. That’s the beauty of seeking opinions on a forum. I could say that to most of my friendship groups without any issue but wouldn’t use it for the ones where it wouldn’t.

Yes I do thanks @Charlenedickens 😉

If it was the other 5 and you had been left out then I could understand being upset but as it is a minority of the group out together I would be reminding myself that people are allowed to do things without me and that it doesn't mean they don't like me, and I would then be hearting the pics and sending a message the next morning to say I hope they aren't too hungover.

That person sound mentally unwell 😂who could be bothered to be THAT petty? Quite disturbing behaviour.

Why send pics at all, ever? What purpose do they serve?

Op why don’t you organise one now for the next weekend they might not realise they are doing it on your group chat or they just don’t care how you all feel. I would just be aww looks great enjoy yourselves and is anyone free next weekend for a night out. It’s been a while.

I just can't imagine ever being bothered that two people had gone out for the evening.

Even if I were a little disappointed, I still can't imagine being pissed off about it, starting a thread or considering sending a shitty message to them.

Let them! And don't overthink it..

So weird. It's fine to socialise sometimes with just one or two other people in a wider group, but it's very weird to broadcast it when the others weren't invited.

I think some people now use WhatsApp the way they used to use Instagram ie. sharing photos and videos of nights out, or whatever, in a load of group chats just for some kind of reaction. I'm in a group chat with my partner's family and his brother's new girlfriend does this. I find it quite odd, I've met her once and don't need updates on her life every couple of days but to each their own! But I can see she's just using WhatsApp in a totally different way to me, and assume she is sharing with several groups every time they go out and do something.

Does it really bother you? You are a grown woman.