Friends going out and sending pics to the uninvited 😵‍💫

[BrownEyedLassie]

Can’t quite understand what’s going on here. Genuinely perplexed.

We are a group of 6 neighbours. We only know each other because we’re neighbours, no other connection besides that.

We have all known each other a number of years. We have a group chat where we chat and share photos etc. We go out a handful of times a year and have girly nights in too. But keep in touch every few days via the chat, and in person as we all live close, so see each other in the street.

Tonight, 2 of the women have gone out together. I certainly wasn’t invited and I know that the other women in the group are all at home alone. The 2 who are out, are sending multiple messages, photos and videos of the night out to the Group chat.

No idea what to make of it. I’m a bit 😵‍💫 as I’m sure the other women and me would have loved a night out rather than sitting in alone on a Saturday night.

What do you think is going on here?

I know everyone is entitled to do whatever they want. But it’s a bit odd, no? To exclude others and then send all the pics. It’s not something I would do.

But do you have to do everything as a six? That’s so tiresome, organising everyone’s diaries and budgets each time. Just like the photos and say you’d love to arrange a drink with anyone who’s up for it next week.

I'd think they were just trying to include the rest of you, as it were.

How classy

So have you organised a night out?

I don't see the issue. It's two of them out of six. There are bound to be some friendships that are closer than others within that group. There is no law that says that you all have to do everything together.

If four or five of them had gone out for the night and left out just one or two of you, I'd get it. But that's not what happened.

I knew you’d appreciate it with your username

I agree with you OP. Nothing wrong with going out as the two of them, but I wouldn't be sending pics to the rest of you.

Going out together is fine, but posting pics on the group is just weird!!

Group chats are the work of Satan.

Has anyone commented?

For those saying they seem like teen-agers worrying about such things: My mum has friends in their late 80's and one is over 100 even and there are often feelings hurt and people getting upset over not being invited to things.

I would like the post and put something along the lines of “looks like a great night out, would have liked/loved to have joined you - anyone up for next week?”

That way all the other uninvited in the group chat get motivated to go next week in a larger group, dousing the two ladies out tonight.

If it has been 5 out of the 6, you would be right to be annoyed. But 2 out of the 6? it's 2 people who are friends going out together and sharing pictures with other people who are also their friends. Probably because they think you might be interested.

You don't have to do everything together. I think the fact that you don't do much outside the group is colouring your view. If I see my friends out together I'm just pleased for them. I might say "that looked like fun, if you go again, let me know and I'll join in if I'm free", but it would be no particular big deal if they didn't.

A bottle, as well as a couple of dolls and a lot of pins maybe'

I'd guess they met by chance and ended up on an impromptu night out, had a few drinks and then thought of the rest of the friend group and wished you were there and this is a clumsy way to 'include' you all in their fun. I bet they'll have sore heads and be a bit embarrassed tomorrow! I wouldn't dwell on it.

If it was 4 of them leaving 2 out I’d understand, but 2 out of 6…I don’t think that’s a big deal? I would assume they’re closer with each other than you realise?

I’d set up another group chat with the other 4 and organise a night out just us 4 without the other 2!!

I don’t see why you are bothered to be honest?
I don’t care if a few of my friends do something.
I would be upset if the whole group did something I would enjoy and I was the only one not included, but aside from that then I wouldn’t be upset at all.

I think going out together is fine but posting on the group chat is weird. I could only really understand that if the others were invited but couldn’t come, even then it would be rubbish to show much fun they’re having without the others. I think someone will have to reply or it’ll be so awkward to completely ignore it and then message about something else

You’re overthinking this massively.

I really can't see the problem.

I'm in a group chat with 6 or 7 other friends. Sometimes we all go out together, sometimes a smaller group will meet up and sometimes we'll meet up with one other person.

If were doing something fun or we think others might be interested, we'll share photos ro tye group. Not because anyone is looking for a reaction but because (and hold on to your hats here) we actually like each other! We don't read malice into everything everyone does, we don't all expect to be included and it is quite nice to see people I like having fun.

It always amazes me that this is such a problem for so many people on here.

I'm with you OP, this would really annoy me too - what are you supposed to say? Have a great evening?

I’m sure the other women and me would have loved a night out rather than sitting in alone on a Saturday night.

So why didn't you go out then?

You're allowed out without your neighbours you know 😳

2/6 are out. Leaving 3 and you not , so 4 of you not invited. Don’t see the issue tbh

In the absence of any issues between you, I wouldn't read it as the rest of you being excluded. Just those two decided to go out together. Maybe it was fairly spontaneous or they didn't give it much thought. I'd see the fact that they're sending pics as them actually including you in a way.