To think my dd is very young to be pregnant

[Nantobeb777]

Just 23

I thought you were going to say 16 - 23 isn’t young at all!

Interesting how old it was in the 1920s and 30s

I think it's young yes (not that there's anything wrong with it) my friend was 26 and I thought that was young too!

You'd have got a lot of very different responses if the 23 year old in question was dating a 35 yr old-suddenly it'd be that she was barely out of her teens, brain hasn't fully developed, is vulnerable and he's taking advantage. But apparently it's not young for the most serious thing you could possibly do-create life!

I had my one and only at 43. No problems with conception, birth or baby, but I was probably lucky too. My niece seems to have timed everything well. At 34, she has parents young enough to enjoy hands on grandparenting and two kids of 8 and 5.

I think that’s fine, I was 24 when we started trying for a baby and we had both of our children in our 20s, have never regretted it!

And her career prospects seem decent.

When I look at my own now at 24 and 27 yea it seems young but I had my first at 17 ,depends on your daughter and her life style and maturity .

I was 22. I love that now mine are adults I’m still in my 40’s.

I never felt “bogged down” by having children in my 20s, I genuinely loved it and I am now early 40s with 2 teenagers who I get on great with!

It depends on her stage of life. I had DC1 at 23, DC2 at 24 and DC3 at 37. All three were planned, all with my husband and we're still very happily together now.

By 23 we had bought our first house, both had careers that paid well enough for us to buy a 3 bed semi in a good area, both had a car each & were ready for the next step.

The only thing I wish I could have done differently is had DC3 one year after DC2 - it would have been much easier logistically than the big age gap we have now!!

However if your DD still lives at home, has no employment & is not in stable relationship that you may be correct - it all depends on her current situation.

Does she have the money to bring up a child?

I am a solo mum. At 36.

Not easy at all.

My dd2 is 22 and her baby girl is due in September. She has a career in spa therapies and a really good job with fantastic maternity provision. Her partner also has a good job. They bought their own flat recently, and have their heads screwed on right. They’re going to be fine!
im 55 so not young to be a Gran. Dh is still processing being a grandpa but he’ll be fine.
Very much looking forward to being grandparents!

It depends on the woman.

At 23 I was in no way ready for motherhood. Did I have the needed skills to care for a baby? Yes. But that doesn't mean I was ready. At 23 I was still too self-oriented and focused on having a good time.

My sister had her first at 20, she was absolutely ready for it and slipped into motherhood as if it were a pair of comfy slippers.

Its a difficult one.

On the one hand she is an adult and perfectly free to make her own decisions. I was married and trying for a baby at 23, had her at 24. But......I would be sad if that daughter (now late 20's) had had a baby that young herself.

I can see what I missed out on by having her and her brother so young. Building a career, travel, freedom, building a good financial buffer first, that sort of thing. I dont have a private pension for example, which didnt seem so important at the time, but now at 50 odd I realise what an issue that is.

When I look back I wouldnt say I was too young in terms of life experience or maturity, but I do think it would have been better if I had waited. But, on the basis that she is pregnant and presumably happy about it, I think you just need to keep it to yourself and go with the flow. But I do sympathise.

I can admire that. My DC is 26 and I shall be 70 too soon. Obviously, I shall try to enable in every way possible, but it might not mean offering regular child care. However, distance meant that I didn't get any either.

after the First World War and Spanish flu, this may well have had a bearing on the age

Yes, I was thinking about that too.

It's fine. She has more energy to run around after them now. Having children in your 30s is a bit tough energy wise and overall healing.

Personally I think having the right partner is more important than the age of the mother. A 23 yo in a happy, stable relationship with a supportive partner is in a much better position than a woman in her 30s who 'accidentally' gets pregnant in a shit relationship because she's worried about 'time running out.'

Only if you are unfit. I had mine at 44, and never struggled with running around!

I was 23 when I got married and had my first baby 🤷🏼‍♀️

It is young but then depends on her circumstances. I knew people who had house, jobs and steady relationships from 19, had their kids in early 20s

Jesus before I opened the thread I thought you were going to say 14/15 🤣🤣🤣

Not that it’s any of our business but are there other factors here that’s worrying you? Is she homeless, out of work, addiction issues, unstable relationships that make it seem she would be unable to cope with a baby?

both my daughters were in their twenties having their first baby, I was 24, eldest was 29 and youngest was 25

23 is hardly young, she has been an adult for 5 years

how do you know, if you haven't had a baby in your 20s you don't have the comparison