AIBU to not have had a night away from my children?

[Moreroardinosaur]

The reason I’m asking is because a colleague is away for the weekend. She came back to work in January after having a baby, so her DD is around 16/17 months now. She also mentioned she had a weekend away in February.

My DS is now five and I have a two year old as well. I’ve yet to have a night away as DD still doesn’t sleep through and I’m not sure DH would wake up / be able to sort her (she can be a bit funny overnight.) Is it just me?

My dd left us for a week to go on a school trip. I'll have to tell her that she's a part time daughter 😂

I went away with work a number of times (but way less than DH). The most common i got was "who is looking after the kids?" And almost greeted with suprise when DH was the answer.

Id have done much less socializing away from them but wouldn't turn down an offer.

Mine are 8 and 10 and I’ve never willingly spent nights away from them. I don’t judge anyone who does, I know it’s fine, but I always felt I spent enough time away from them at work and I wanted to be with them in my free time.

Why didn’t you get divorced?

with respect, he'd better learn and you'd better let him learn...what happens when you are ill or injured? It does happen and without warning!

Yea it’s jus you you’re the only decent mother there has ever been ever well done

This sounds a lot like jail time keeping you away rather than enthusiasm for parenting

Give over. Parents are people too and a night, a weekend or even a week away from your children/husband is absolutely fine. Makes me a better Mum, actually.

Your life sounds miserable op. This is why it’s important to choose wisely who you have children with.

My elderly parent fell ill in another city and I had to be away for chunks of time and thankfully dh actually parents our children.

I haven’t finished reading the replies yet but I needed to be clear I’m not; I’m quite jealous if anything!

I’m sure dh would cope if you went away

don’t martyr yourself

Never mind whether or not you should have a night away, your DH is pathetic.

How desperately sad. Totally understandable that you woukd feel extra protective towards your second son x

I had one night away when my first was 9 months old. She’s now 4 and we also have a 5 month old. I had no desire to leave her and she only ever wanted mum. It’s only now that I’m thinking about doing it again. My other half is more than capable of looking after them both though

Some of us have trustworthy and supportive networks for childcare and therefore get to have breaks and holidays away. You don’t.

DS is coming up to 2 and I’ve had a few instances of one or two nights away from him for work, starting just before he was 18 months, but DH is just as capable of caring for him as I am, and always has been, so I’ve never even thought twice about it.

We’re BOTH having two nights away from him in a couple of months and that I’m a bit nervous about, but he’ll be with SIL that he knows well, and she’ll stay at ours so he’ll be in his familiar surroundings.

I very rarely have a night away but not because I consider my DH unable to care for our children. I went for a funeral when DD was 10 months and not only was he able to wake up but I believe he also fed her and changed her.

My daughter is 4 and the only 2 nights iv had away from her are when i was in hospital having her sister (13 months) I could if i wanted/needed to as both are good sleepers but i just havent

Do you want a medal?

I dont think you"re doing your DC any favours tbh. Its a life skill really.

Ds1 went on his Yr 6 residential last year, no issues. There were children there aged 10 and 11 who had never had a night away from their parents and it was hard for them and their teachers. Some parents had to collect their dc.

Book yourself a night away, plan a trip with a friend or relative and do so soon.

If you want time away make it happen. Your partner won't step up until you make him, right now he's getting full night's sleep and I'm guessing he can have time away whenever he pleases. He seems like a pretty terrible partner who has no desire to parent so why would he change that.

Neither of you are unreasonable, totally fine for her to do it, totally fine for you not to if you don’t want to. But I’d have zero respect for my husband if he wasn’t capable of looking after his own children at 5 & 2 so I could have a night off if I wanted one.

You sound lovely 🤣