AIBU to worry my 14-year-old son is talking marriage?

[ThatElatedRubyCat]

My 14 year old son has a 14 year old girlfriend. They're the cutest thing. The lovey dovey stuff they do is mostly adorable but my son is saying he wants to marry her and she's saying she wants to marry him. It's getting too intense.

She became the center point in his life, his top priority. I know, I know, teen boys are gonna be teen boys but this is overboard.

The girl, she's autistic and she has only been in my country since this school year. My son is her closest friend.

I'm a little concerned that the emotions are too intense.

At the very least, English is not her native language according to the OP.

This girl is at a disadvantage here on numerous levels.

Why didn't this passionate boy fall for someone more his equal?

He doesn't see her as disadvantaged

Also they're 14. They haven't gain the cynicism of adults.

Im still married to my high school sweetheart, we ran off to Gretna green and got married, parents where horrified, said it was a bad decision and it wouldn't work!!! 4 kids and 35yrs later we are happily married.

My worry would be that they’re so focussed on each other to the detriment of everything else. I know first love is wonderful and all encompassing, but this seems very intense. Make sure he keeps up with his hobbies, other friends, schoolwork etc, and although it all looks lovey dovey, that’s either he or she isn’t controlling. There’s a fine line between caring and controlling.

Speaking two languages isn't necessarily a disadvantage?
They're only kids and it won't last anyway.

He's still doing great in school, has friends, and has hobbies.

Start to worry in 3 or 4 years if they are still together then. Mind you. My bil and sil met at that age. Got married. And stayed together very happily for life. So there you go.

I was the same with my boyfriend at 14, we both thought we’d get married at 18 and go to the same university etc.
It lasted two years still I was sick of him.

My DD met her OH at 15 - they weathered the separation of university and have now been married for 20 odd years and have two wonderful children. So it can turn out fine.

I think you should simply not worry about it - He's still doing great in school, has friends, and has hobbies. No problem.

My DD was the same - she just did it all whilst savouring the joy of first love.

My parents have been together since they were 13 and been married for almost 47 years so whilst it’s rare it does happen
They didn’t sleep together til marriage either (apparently)
My Grandma did worry it was too serious though and “made” them split up for 3 months just to see. They got back together though

They are 14 so no one is getting married yet. the conversation you overheard. was it more of a one day in the distant future thing? just asking as just because they have talked about it does not mean they are planning any of these things any time soon. He is doing well at school and socially so i would try to not over think it as long as the girl is nice and no red flags. I never had a relationship in high school so i can’t judge what it is like at the same time i could even when i did get into a relationship at 18 imagine investing emotionally and giving my attention to a relationship that I could not see a future with or it being long term. I just mean i could not understand investing emotionally into someone that I only would keep around until something better comes along They are 14 so chances are against them so try to not over think it too much.

The girl is ND, new to the country, and English is not her first language. That's a lot of disadvantage.

That's neither here nor there.

What was it that he saw in a girl who is ND, new to the country, and whose first language is not English?

So she shouldn't date? Or she should only date other kids from her home country who happen to have moved to the UK and are also ND?