AIBU not to outright ban kids from playing with balls in garden, after neighbours complained

[MyKidsThrowFood]

I have 2 active boys age 6 & 4. We live in a Victorian terrace with a smallish garden. Both boys love a kick about. Recently our neighbours complained about too many balls ending up in their garden. I completely understand this. However, they said the kids should be forbidden from playing with balls in the garden entirely, which I avoided agreeing to. Instead we instituted a rule where the boys have to request a ball from us so they’re only playing with one ball at a time and it’s supervised.
The boys also apologised. The neighbours didn’t exactly accept the apology but were civil.
This was about a month ago. Since then there’s been one incident of a ball accidentally going over, which the boys apologised for. But now another has gone over. That’s 2 balls in month. Is this an unreasonable amount? Can they now reasonably insist on no playing with balls on the garden ever? My eldest became very tearful at the prospect as he loves football and is very active but the gardens are so small it seems impossible to prevent balls ever going over entirely.

YANBU bit neither are they. They also have a small garden and they’re entitled to use it without fear of a ball landing on them/their plants/pets/garden gnomes/barbeque. Doesn’t matter if it’s a couple of times a month, once in a blue moon is probably ok. It’s probably also pretty annoying for the ball to be hitting the fence.

Since your kids are young they’re probably not that good at keeping the ball off the fence or in the garden, so limiting ball games to occasional and supervised seems fair.

Your neighbours sound like arseholes

The problem is when people say "it's your own garden you can do what you want"
It's not that simple when you love in close proximity. The garden sounds too small for the children to play football without infringement on other people. The neighbours want to not have garden damaged plus the sound of football in a confined area is noisy. I think OP needs to take them more to the park and show some respect as to why neighbours feel a bit put out. The problem is if everyone said "I can do what I want.." is horrible it's selfish and not community minded. We need harmony not hate

Cant you put up some trellis or something to help stop it going in their garden so the boys can play free of worry

I haven’t read the other messages so I’m sure it’s been said a few times, but my neighbours sons football ends up in our garden at least once a day in the summer! I just chuck it back over! It’s really not a bother at all, they don’t hassle me for it, they just wait until I throw it back.

And the neighbours are entitled to enjoy their garden, without balls coming over and smacking them in the head.

That plastic-coated wire fencing would do the job - stopping balls while not obstructing light etc. Could grow plants up it too to provide screen in longer term. Given all biological, social & environmental problems caused by inactivity - which end up as medical & cultural problems we all end up paying for in different ways - your neighbour needs to wake up & think! Perhaps invite them around for a cuppa with kids in background, or drink in evening just before bedtime, and discuss (also showing your kids are good/reasonable normal people … for their age!)

Kids playing isn't all the time, especially as you said not even every day. Far worse is loud shite music being played loudly outside as currently here. Former neighbours, we all had kids who kicked balls over, was a running joke who could collect the most.

A ball came into my garden earlier today. It's knocked the only flower so far off a dark purple iris that I planted two years ago and have been nurturing. I'm gutted. Why can't you take your kids to the park to play football, and get them to play other games in the garden?

Dealt with similar before , our neighbours are miserable, we put up a huge net, total eyesore for them but it did the job ;-)

Obviously, they have never had sons. You’ve been very reasonable and your kids have been polite. If your neighbours continue to be so uptight, the netting or a tall fence is the best option.

OP as other posters have said put some net between 2 posts on your side and if your neighbours complain tell them it's to stop the balls going over. Anyway you can do what you like on your side of the fence. Your neighbours are bu especially if they are teachers they should have a bit of patience with young children.

Hello Neighbour 👋🤣⚽️

Our neighbours on both sides are lovely. Even so, we got some netting like this to help our kids keep their footballs and basketballs where they want them. It's expensive, but its lasted years in all weathers and is very tall.

We've also tried to ensure the ball noise isn't constant.

https://www.networldsports.co.uk/stop-that-ball-socketed.html+netting_length-10ft?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=15861213011&gbraid=0AAAAADn0RBnASmMX3bySmzNIzoeovAcRt&gclid=CjwKCAjwntHPBhAaEiwA_Xp6RouzPZiggCt15HrO67kO5ryHbtVHw1IZ-0ycNHzEo9hct1DGxgUgOBoC57sQAvD_BwE

We got this for sections of our garden - eg near the basketball hoop, and football goal (1930s house, so garden is probs a bit longer and wider than yours).

https://www.networldsports.co.uk/stop-that-ball-socketed.html+nettinglength-10ft?gadsource=1&gadcampaignid=15861213011&gbraid=0AAAAADn0RBnASmMX3bySmzNIzoeovAcRt&gclid=CjwKCAjwntHPBhAaEiwAXp6RouzPZiggCt15HrO67kO5ryHbtVHw1IZ-0ycNHzEo9hct1DGxgUgOBoC57sQAvDBwE

They do various different versions. ANd you buy the width you want -- doesn't have to be as wide as the photo.

We have the same problem and heft the balls back to the 2 young boys. To not accept an apology from a child is piss poor behaviour by a grown up.

Ah, so your logic is because I disagree with you, I must be the neighbour? 🤣🤣 Are all the other people who disagreed with you the neighbours as well?

Sorry to burst your deluded bubble, but I’m not the neighbour.

I live in a flat for starters.

But as someone who lives in a flat and has to deal with other inconsiderate people, I can understand why it would be annoying.

Unfortunately, there are too many entitled people like you out there, who have zero consideration for others.

Cheer up it’s Friday night. Have a 🍸and stop clutching

2 balls in a day would be too much. 2 balls a month is nothing.

I’m already on the wine thanks

And therefore less likely to accept childish bollocks from the entitled likes of you.

You have to find a solution to the balls going into their garden - you could raise the fence, put up a net etc etc. I also live in a small terrace and w have two children next door who play ball games in the garden all day, but their parents are very careful to supervise and also they raised the fence to stop things coming over as often. It is not fair that your neighbour’s peace in their own garden is disturbed by your children. I presume it was a lot more than two balls a month before the most recent incident.

Your neighbours are being ridiculous. Before kids if balls came in the garden I’d just toss them back over. If the wee lad came to he door with his mum to ask for his ball back id get it for him. Always have enjoyed the sound of kids playing. Your neighbours are the problem not you.

Your neighbours are being ridiculous!!!

However, you could look at methods to stop the balls going over, maybe something like the cat netting?

what a misery guts 🤣🤣🤣

And the neighbours are entitled to the peaceful enjoyment of their property.Thats even enshrined in Human Rights Legislation in those words, though I doubt ball (edit typo) over fences was considered.

Netting, better ball control, or play something else in the garden. Leave ball play for the park or wherever if they can’t control where it goes. Should get easier once old enough to go to a park on their own…for me that was 5 years old, but things are different now,
😊