AIBU not to outright ban kids from playing with balls in garden, after neighbours complained

[MyKidsThrowFood]

I have 2 active boys age 6 & 4. We live in a Victorian terrace with a smallish garden. Both boys love a kick about. Recently our neighbours complained about too many balls ending up in their garden. I completely understand this. However, they said the kids should be forbidden from playing with balls in the garden entirely, which I avoided agreeing to. Instead we instituted a rule where the boys have to request a ball from us so they’re only playing with one ball at a time and it’s supervised.
The boys also apologised. The neighbours didn’t exactly accept the apology but were civil.
This was about a month ago. Since then there’s been one incident of a ball accidentally going over, which the boys apologised for. But now another has gone over. That’s 2 balls in month. Is this an unreasonable amount? Can they now reasonably insist on no playing with balls on the garden ever? My eldest became very tearful at the prospect as he loves football and is very active but the gardens are so small it seems impossible to prevent balls ever going over entirely.

My children play football in the garden and I’m sure it can be annoying but luckily we fell out with our neighbours ages ago and so they just simmer quietly.

I can recommend those foam balls that are the same size as a regular football. They aren’t cheap but they’re pretty heavy so won’t easily fly over a fence and don’t make any noise when they are bounced and kicked.

What makes it annoying?

You seem to have your own sense of entitlement.

Which would be what exactly?

I bet they are also glad they don’t live next to you. I am also grateful.

Just admit you’re a parent that doesn’t want to control your kids

If they can’t manage to not kick balls over the fence (which clearly they can’t) then they should go play in a park or field.

It’s really annoying having balls repeatedly thrown in your garden, but more importantly can cause damage.

Get a higher fence and soft ball.
I am in a terrace, the gentleman on the right would throw them back in the morning, we’d never ask or disturb him. The lady on the left has never given back a ball, if it went in it was gone forever. DS doesn’t play football anymore in the garden he’s older. I buy my neighbours shopping and cut his grass, repaying his kind nature.
Lady on the left is still a grumpy sod.

Balls coming in regularly from both sides here, I don't mind as I'm not much of a gardener and the kids are lovely and say thank you. I would probably feel worse about it if I were their parents.

Back in the day.Well.So.l've heard. Neighbours used to take a knife or scissors to footballs and slit a hole in them to pop them if they landed in their garden.

Used to pretend the ball had landed on a nail, spike or broken glass.

Apparently vey common place.

⚽✂️🔪

Usually requires planning permission if the total height of the fence and net exceeds 2 metres. Now that really would - and quite legitimately - give the neighbours (and the Council) something to complain about!

💯

Needs to be pop up as if stays more than 28 days, requires planning permission (if over 2 metres)

It's annoying for the neighbours, but part and parcel of living in a high density area.

We have this exact problem - at its peak our kid's managed to kick balls going over multiple times a day! Neighbours didnt mind - think they liked to see them enjoying themselves. let them climb over and retrieve. It's your garden, kids are allowed to play in it.

Not sure its related to an inability to control the 'brats' as someone above says - but kids have to be able to be kids! Playing with a ball is pretty kid behaviour. I'm sure the same people then moan about kids playing video games or on screens...these poor kids can't win!

You can buy really high netting fences or a can you make a kind of high cage?

They’re older and kick the ball hard. The sound of balls being kicked and bounced is annoying however in our garden it genuinely is for only half the year as our garden is unusable otherwise.

2 balls a day would annoy me. 2 balls a month wouldn’t even register, I’d just lob them back. Why are you allowing your children to apologize to these people? They haven’t done anything wrong, they’re just playing in their garden.

Is it just the people who you've fallen out with who are affected? Or have you fallen out with everyone around you? My point is that you know it's annoying but let them do it anyway.

It’s obviously annoying for them, not least you knocking to apologise. I’d rather not have the apology as it’s only going to happen again. I think you should keep the ball games for the park and find something else to entertain the kids in the garden as its clearly spoiling their enjoyment of their garden.

So your neighbours don’t have arms?

No, the downside of living in a high density area is to accept that you can't do everything you want in your garden.

it means taking others into account when playing or not having loud noise or smoke from a BBQ.

Yes, some things are part and parcel, having time in my own garden disrupted is not one.

I mean, it's only just May, it's 2 balls in April but they will play out until September/October at least and I hope to enjoy a garden until then as well.

I'd just accept that if a ball goes into their garden it's lost and make sure you get cheap ones and have spares on hand. All this fuss and angst about the balls isn't worth it. Let them keep them and they lose all their power and asking for an in person grovelling apology from a six year old is more about enjoying the power of them than it being a learning experience. Just remove yourself from the equation for the cost of a few lost balls.

What's their issue with the balls? Is it just annoying? Or are they causing damage. If the balls are landing on a table while they're sitting out, damaging plants or a greenhouse then I understand. If it's just annoying them having to pass the balls back then I wouldn't worry. I've been on both sides, now with teen DCs but would try to be understanding as I remember the fun my DCs had playing ball and how tolerant my neighbours were. Have another conversation.

I've had so much damage in my garden from neighbouring kids footballs. Pots smashed, pond (& fish) ruined, plants smashed, greenhouse glass, and my windows hit, balls hitting my clean washing. How is it okay to have someone else's kids ruin and damage my things? These days, gardens aren't big enough to be cracking a ball around in. I'm all for playing in the garden, of course! But not when it means other people around you are losing out. Unless you're happy to pay for breakages, go to the park!!!!!

Don't blame him. It's a pain in the arse.

They're playing with footballs not canonballs ffs.