AIBU not to outright ban kids from playing with balls in garden, after neighbours complained

[MyKidsThrowFood]

I have 2 active boys age 6 & 4. We live in a Victorian terrace with a smallish garden. Both boys love a kick about. Recently our neighbours complained about too many balls ending up in their garden. I completely understand this. However, they said the kids should be forbidden from playing with balls in the garden entirely, which I avoided agreeing to. Instead we instituted a rule where the boys have to request a ball from us so they’re only playing with one ball at a time and it’s supervised.
The boys also apologised. The neighbours didn’t exactly accept the apology but were civil.
This was about a month ago. Since then there’s been one incident of a ball accidentally going over, which the boys apologised for. But now another has gone over. That’s 2 balls in month. Is this an unreasonable amount? Can they now reasonably insist on no playing with balls on the garden ever? My eldest became very tearful at the prospect as he loves football and is very active but the gardens are so small it seems impossible to prevent balls ever going over entirely.

Ignore the neighbours, what happens is quite normal; most of us have experienced it and those of us who have had children will have had their kids kicking or throwing the balls in the wrong direction and having to ask for them back.

Buy a few extra balls if you can afford it, cheap ones.

Just put netting up. My neighbour hates the ball going over, but hated the netting even more. You can’t win. It’s really easy to do. Use either scaffolding poles, or 6x4 pieces of wood and staple the net to them. Wish I’d done it years ago and stopped moaning at my kids

They’re probably the same people who would say kids are always on their Xbox/playstation and never play outside

Buy lighter footballs. It's probably the heavy thump that is most annoying out of all the noises.

I agree. Let them play, but don’t expect the neighbours to throw back random balls.

I can’t believe how many people here think it’s ok to just continue to encroach on someone else’s personal space even when you’ve been told it’s an issue !? Of course your children are allowed to play in their own garden. But they’re not… their ball is ending up in someone else’s garden.
This would piss me right off. They have every right to peaceful enjoyment of their own garden without a ball coming hurtling over the fence and hitting themselves / their property or their plants. Have some consideration for others!

They can't reasonably insist on it but I would probably change things round a bit. I also have a narrow terrace garden and I don't allow my DC to play any ball games in the garden, we take them to the park. Instead we have a swing, climbing frame, swing ball, space hoppers, skipping ropes etc there's a lot of garden toys and games that won't go over the fence. It's not worth the hassle with the neighbours, imagine how irritating it would get for you if they chucked a heavy object over your fence a few times a month then asked for it back. With your kids being young this could go on for many years and will only get worse as they get bigger and stronger and the ball flies harder and further. I'd change the rules early on.

A ball isn't a heavy object though? Maybe if its a basketball it is.

Personally I couldn't be bothered by a ball coming over until it broke a window or something. No plant of mine has ever been really damaged by a ball.

What about tetherball?
There are loads of options

I'm surprised your don't think a football is heavy, I've been hit in the face with a kicked football and it really hurt, I was checked over for concussion, it's not something I'd want to worry about while lying on a sunbed in my garden .

The odd time DS had a toy go over the fence we made him apologise to the neighbour.

We then got him something similar to this
https://www.networldsports.co.uk/forza-solo-football-return-trainer.html+forza_match_football_size-Size~5+goal_weights-With~Base?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=15712463679&gbraid=0AAAAADn0RBmxedRW03nABRATlbwfDyKnX&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIyfXcq_OVlAMVbIBQBh33lRIjEAQYAiABEgLA_vD_BwE

And any normal kick about was then played in the park

I regularly have a group of 16 year old boys playing football in our street. One of the boys parents has a massive garden and a field but no they play in the road. Asking them nicely to be mindful of our cars is met with abuse. Parents don’t give a shit. At least your kids are playing in a garden.

Fences over 2m require planning permission (usually) but temporary netting wouldn't generally qualify. As long as it'a on your side of the boundary you should be fine. You'd also hope they would see you are trying to improve the situation for them.

That isn't being heavy though, that's the force of the kick.

A ball that's come over the fence doesn't have that force because it's either ricocheted off something which has absorbed most of the force, or because it went high and fell back to the earth when it ran out of force. The residual force isn't going to hurt anyone.

I'm surprised that common sense physics escapes you.

It is annoying tbh
I've planted nice flowers before, I can't anymore, because the balls ruin them.
Can't do higher fences, neighbours like seeing their kids over my fence.

Also, kids knocking on my door all day saying please can we have our ball.
I don't like being a killjoy, I say just jump over the fence and get it. My gate stays locked. They looked at me shocked, they don't know how to climb a fence!

I used to always climb fences when I was little and these are boys, what's happening in the world these days!
Anyway, I hate balls but since boys like them so much I tolerate them, what else can we do, I dare say my 3 year old might join them one day!

Take the balls away and bin them.

Give them these instead - bulk order

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Handheld-Airhorn-Various-Activities-Suitable/dp/B0F1KK5L1H/ref=asc_df_B0F1KK5L1H?mcid=768d1759b5df37569476a3ae1fb0fd83&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=744770570619&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1389173011185391682&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006734&hvtargid=pla-2421010273610&psc=1&hvocijid=1389173011185391682-B0F1KK5L1H-&hvexpln=0&gad_source=1

Any ball that comes over our fence ends up belonging to our dog!

I wouldn't want your balls disturbing my pets or touching my plants.
My garden is mine .
Keep your play to your space.

Extendable light weight poles - dig a hole for each pole holder (tube) use quick set postcrete - then the poles sit in them and the nets fix to the poles. No need for a tall fence or fence you can attach them to. You can buy ready made kits for this or DIY it fairly cheaply.

My neighbours very occasionally have grandkids visiting but if a ball comes over I will not make a special trip into the garden to throw it back. I am disabled and walk with a stick so bending down is a nono for me. If there is a ball in the garden when my nephew makes his weekly visit he throws it into the street where its fair game for any passing kid.

again its not an either or

If the netting is a no go actually I think you should do as they ask. They are back and forth to school every day, take a ball on the school run and stop on the way home, and get stuff like swing ball, hula hoops, those keepie uppie things on elastic for the garden. It would be better if they could meet you in the middle and were happy to chuck back balls, but I don't think you have an inalienable right to rain down balls on the neighbours' plants even occasionally, when they have specifically asked you not to.

Perhaps your neighbours perceived it to be a lot more than 2 balls a month. You could maybe try for a compromise eg they have 4 footballs and only collect from the neighbours once a month. When they're gone, they're gone for that month.

Also talk to the neighbours about their preferred route of return if you haven't already. Some people prefer they knock, others prefer not to be disturbed.

I'd care less about the ball going into my garden and more about the incessant, unrelenting and grating noise of kicking a ball, over and over, in close proximity to everyone else, damaging their peace whilst parent(s) hide inside and enjoy their "break" and their kids "happiness".

you and your children can absolutely do what you want in your own garden.

so can the neighbour, so if they want to keep (or burst) the balls, you can't complain

the children are still quite young, but small gardens aren't made for football - when they're a bit older you should take them to the park.

https://www.amazon.ie/Ainiv-Football-Juggling-Training-Footballs/dp/B0CQT19NXG

You could try this but honestly I would ignore the neighbours and let the boys play.