AIBU not to outright ban kids from playing with balls in garden, after neighbours complained

[MyKidsThrowFood]

I have 2 active boys age 6 & 4. We live in a Victorian terrace with a smallish garden. Both boys love a kick about. Recently our neighbours complained about too many balls ending up in their garden. I completely understand this. However, they said the kids should be forbidden from playing with balls in the garden entirely, which I avoided agreeing to. Instead we instituted a rule where the boys have to request a ball from us so they’re only playing with one ball at a time and it’s supervised.
The boys also apologised. The neighbours didn’t exactly accept the apology but were civil.
This was about a month ago. Since then there’s been one incident of a ball accidentally going over, which the boys apologised for. But now another has gone over. That’s 2 balls in month. Is this an unreasonable amount? Can they now reasonably insist on no playing with balls on the garden ever? My eldest became very tearful at the prospect as he loves football and is very active but the gardens are so small it seems impossible to prevent balls ever going over entirely.

They think a ball is bad? Our neighbour worked nights occasionally (never knew when as it wasn't his main shift) & I was 14 & a member of the British legion youth marching band, so used to do drum practices daily!!!

actually no it doesn't. You can add netting or similar to your own fence (not a neighbour's fence unless they give permission) without planning permission if its not a permanent structure. This doesn't mean that you need to remove it, only that it could be removed

They can ask all they like but you can’t stop small children playing with a ball in their own garden. As long as they are not banging it against the neighbour’s wall or fence (which can be really annoying), then they can throw the ball back when it’s convenient.

This reminds me of going with my brother to our (very scary) neighbour to ask for our ball and my brother’s slipper back.

once again, its not either or. People don't have to put up with things because "it could be worse"

no the neighbours can't require that the children should stop but I can see ,by what has been said here, that the OP should either make changes like netting or should put a stop to it themselves.

I have 7 gardens that have fences around my garden. There are children and grandchildren frequently playing with a ball in those gardens, we often find balls in our garden and it isn’t a big deal. Our only problem is knowing which garden to return it to. I would much rather those children were playing outside with a ball than stuck inside on screens.

Yabu - your kids can play lots of games in the garden that don't involve kicking a ball. Mine had those swing things with the ball on a rope that you can hit with a bat. You can get a mini trampoline if the garden is small. Your right to do anything you like in your garden, should stop when it negatively impacts other people.
It's not very relaxing if you're sitting in your garden and random balls can hit you or break your plants.

I guess if you persist, your neighbours can refuse to return the balls or start doing things which will piss you off in return.

We live in close proximity to other people and have to try not to irritate each other too much.

@canyouseemyhousefromhere but looking at a screen isn’t the only alternative to playing football in the garden. And if those kids from the seven gardens got together at a local park they could have an amazing kick about.

If balls regularly come over the fence then the garden isn’t big enough to play that ball game in it

You can get a 10ft net fence like this:
10FT Net Fence

A friend had a tiny garden and used this to fence in the entire garden including netting over top!

Look at this way OP - what if your neighbour had a yappy dog that she allowed into her garden every night when you were putting your kids to bed. Or if they decided that was a good time to play their music in the garden. Or to burn their garden waste? Or have their friends round to drink wine and talk loudly right underneath your kids' bedroom window? Thru could argue that it's their garden, they aren't doing anything wrong, they have a right blah blah blah. But those things regularly would become annoying and would be anti social, so you'd hope that they wouldn't do it, what with living in such close proximity.

You never know when you will need a favour from a neighbour, so it's always good to keep on decent terms, which you can do by making a small adjustment. It's not like they are asking for your dc to never play in the garden - they aren't constantly moaning about the house of them playing, only the balls.

As I said it’s not a problem. If you don’t want to return it then don’t 🤷‍♀️

Children have played kick about in their back gardens for donkeys years. Why are so many people being such miseries about it? I bet they would be the same people who would see all the children turning up at the park together and clutch their pearls claiming they were unruly kids that should be at home.

I’m off to spend the day in the garden with my ⚽️

People have explained why they don't like it - it's not hard to see why getting plants or greenhouses damaged or interruptions from neighbours kids wanting their ball back, might be annoying.

once again, its not either or

2 balls in a month is nothing, it would not worry me, they are little children playing in their garden a lot healthier than being stuck looking at their tablets.

and yet again its not either or

Ex school teachers?
So they deffo have experience of children then, but want an apology every time?
I'd be tempted to tell Victor Meldrew and his wife to jog on... 😆
@MyKidsThrowFood

I love it when a story changes when an op doesn’t get response the op wants!

I know it would annoy me. Can't you take them to the park? It must be annoying for the neighbour who might be trying to relax in their garden after a busy day, to have stray balls flying over the fence. You're lucky they're not popping them 🤣!

It's no wonder it doesn't annoy you if you've got SEVEN gardens! They wouldn't be landing in your immediate vicinity. I bet it would annoy you if you only had one small garden that you like to sit in and they were landing directly in your personal space.

This. Mine learned pretty quickly that if a ball went over they were coming in.

Our neighbours at the back have a very small garden, we have been getting sometimes 2 balls a day as soon as the weather allows, one broke my new rose tree another my bird bath. We have a park 5 mins away, last time it happened told them I’d start billing them for every broken thing. It’s really bloody annoying.

If you have a very small garden get them to play something else take them to the park for a proper kick about, all too often now people take the stance ‘it’s my garden I’ll do what I like’ giving no thought to others around them. Consideration is a dirty word these days.

They should be thankful it’s not a teenage boy bashing a sliotar off the concrete wall for hours on end while his little yappy dog barks non-stop! When we moved away his mother apologised to my mother after we put up with it for years!!!

My neighbor had a great solution. Any balls in their yard became theirs.
I'd be annoyed too. I shouldn't have to look for falling objects while outside and shouldn't have my flowers broken.
My kids never once lobbed a ball into the neighbors yard. If they can't keep it in your yard then. O, they shouldn't be doing that activity. Your right to enjoy your yard doesn't extend to ruining your neighbor's right to enjoy theirs

I have got 7 too. Only ever had balls over from one and when I explained about having a tortoise, they moved their garden around to stop it happening

yup usual thing
OP Aibu
MN Yes
OP no I am not