AIBU not to outright ban kids from playing with balls in garden, after neighbours complained

[MyKidsThrowFood]

I have 2 active boys age 6 & 4. We live in a Victorian terrace with a smallish garden. Both boys love a kick about. Recently our neighbours complained about too many balls ending up in their garden. I completely understand this. However, they said the kids should be forbidden from playing with balls in the garden entirely, which I avoided agreeing to. Instead we instituted a rule where the boys have to request a ball from us so they’re only playing with one ball at a time and it’s supervised.
The boys also apologised. The neighbours didn’t exactly accept the apology but were civil.
This was about a month ago. Since then there’s been one incident of a ball accidentally going over, which the boys apologised for. But now another has gone over. That’s 2 balls in month. Is this an unreasonable amount? Can they now reasonably insist on no playing with balls on the garden ever? My eldest became very tearful at the prospect as he loves football and is very active but the gardens are so small it seems impossible to prevent balls ever going over entirely.

My neighbours children throw over at least one a day. Do I care- no- I would rather that than them playing on the Xbox.... They come and get them- or we chuck them over (slightly annoying but nothing unreasonable)....
I would care if they were like my brother playing loud death metal in their bedroom

its not an either or

I got football netting. Neighbours now livid that they have to look at the netting.

Another vote for netting

I think a level of compromise is required. Presumably the neighbours who complain are only on one side of your garden, so I would put up netting or a big goalpost on the other side so they are kicking away from that neighbour's garden.
If you can, especially as they get a bit bigger and kick harder, take them to the park for a big running about and kicking session and then they can do more 'strategy' stuff in the garden such as controlling the ball by dribbling round obstacles and aiming into the goal rather than just random kicking where there is more chance of the ball going over.
I can see both sides of this, the boys have the rght to play, the neighbours have the right to sit in their garden without being hit by an errant football or having their plants ruined.

They are being totally ridiculous. I don't like kids whio are a nuisance. But honestly there's nothing wrong with a few balls occasionally straying into a garden.

Take them up the park. You cannot kick a football in a small suburban garden.

Life is too short to worry about balls going over. Most of us will have been both the parent and the neighbour in this. Multiple times a day I might be cross or if the kids kept coming to the door multiple times a day but apart from that live and let live. Wait till they get drum kits!

Not at the cost of the neighbours safe enjoyment of their garden. I would be spiking every single ball that came over and suing for damages if I had a neighbour with your attitude.

Exactly. Until you’ve suffered if you have no idea. We had twats with a frizbee. Get a f grip

Do you have particularly fragile pets? The kids are 4 and 6, it's not going to be a full weight football coming over is it.

@MyKidsThrowFood , no 2 balls in a month isn't unreasonable, and of course your neighbour can't insist on a ban. Though when one does go over you might ask the neighbours if it has damaged any plants and apologise/offer to pay for a replacement.

At 4 and 6, I'd hardly think they'd have a championship level kick to destroy
plants.

YANBU op, they don't live in the middle of nowhere and can not expect to not hear normal everyday none excessive noise. And if they're so irritate about the odd kids ball going over their fence, it makes me concerned how they get through life.

Really? What pets do you have that would be killed by a small child kicking a ball?
Sorry but if you live in a house with other houses around you you just have to expect balls over the fence just as we have to accept cats coming in the garden and pooing everywhere.
. We regularly have balls over our fence it's fine children have to play. The cats bother more but I accept there is nothing I can do about it.

Just to add, often when it might be boys or girls playing, in the summer dad can join in. Or Dad’s.
The force with which some balls can be kicked when people get a bit too forgetful of where they are is not to be underestimated.
If not over a fence, against it.

Get a golfing net and stick that up along the fence to try & stop balls going over. Whilst it’s totally reasonable for your kids to play footy in the garden I also get that in a terrace with a small garden it might be really irritating for your neighbours. It would be kind if you limited the time spent kicking a ball to a couple of hours or, even better, get some of those foam balls that don’t make so much noise?

Unfortunately you would be in the wrong if you did this. As I understand it, if you keep a football that doesn't belong to you (or destroy it as you've said) then this would be considered to be theft. I believe that legally you are obliged to return the ball to it's owner

From a moral POV I'm not sure why you would want to spike a ball belonging to a small child? This seems to be a bit OTT given the circumstances.

It's balance and compromise really. I find balls in the garden really annoying but equally I do throw them back when they knock. However I refuse to be up and down like a yoyo. After about the 4th time in the day they know not to knock and I throw it back when I see it, usually later that evening. It goes without saying your boys should be able to use their garden. Getting netting is a good idea

I agree on the cats, they caused a right nuisance when I was pregnant, pooing all over our garden. I even had one wander into the house when I had the back door open 🤭
I'll take the balls over the fence any day over that.

If you have a small garden you need to take kids to the park to play football.

Sometimes kids can't do what they want all the time. Tough shit

But what if it causes damage? Ive had plants, a greengouse and a bbq damaged in this way. Would that not bother you?

There is an easy solution as others have said. You can get pop up nets, curtain ones, more permanent ones etc so it’s not hard.

A six year old that clears the fence with a size 3 football will potentially smash pots, break flowers or shrubs branches, hit furniture etc.

I think if there is any frequency that the neighbourly thing to do is put up a net.

OP this will only get worse. Kids get older, balls get bigger, shots get harder, balls go further….being mindful and considerate of others isn’t unreasonable.

I would suggest it isn’t just the frequency but the not knowing when one might come over and potentially hit something.

Greenhouse.

Some neighbours thrive on moaning and spoiling people’s fun!

In your situation I’d extend the fence with a net to stop the balls going over but I wouldn’t stop the kids from playing in the garden……what is the alternative?…..stuck inside, perhaps on a device, getting bored…..certainly not getting fresh air and exercise, that’s a fact!

Do all you can to limit the balls getting kicked over, be polite to the neighbours but under no circumstances should you totally ban ball games in your own garden! That’s just an unreasonable ask IMO.

It's really fucking annoying to have a constant stream of balls going in your garden.

Is 2 a month an issue? It's still not ideal, no.

I lived next door to some keen footballers. One day I counted 12 balls in my garden. 12 balls. 12 balls that bounced off our outside building roof, that hit the veg plants in the veg patch, that destroyed my tulips, roses and other flowers and plants.

Kids running out of balls and expecting immediate action on my behalf returning them.

But it's just a ball right?

Most gardens are not suited for ball games. Once DS was big enough to hit the ball over into next door neighbour's garden, ball games were only allowed in the park, apart from the football we had that was attached to a weight (bit like swing ball but for football)

If you have close neighbours then compromise and consideration comes into play. Yes children can play in their garden but you need games that are contained within your garden.