This is off isn't it?

[coulditbeme2323]

Husband and I loaned another couple a significant amount of money as if we didn't their dream home would have fallen through. All properly drawn up, and to be fair was for a short period of time as in just under 3 months.

All paid back two weeks ago as agreed (no interest by the way as it might matter) and friend text saying we want to take you our to dinner to say thanks.

Didn't expect or want that, but lovely gesture.

Went to a very nice place Saturday and other husband said to my husband I'll get the food and you get the wine/drinks. Now to put into context the wine/drinks were about 35% of the bill so other couple paid 65%.

Now it's not the money, and it was a lovely evening, and I would never mention to my friend, but is that a bit cheeky?

Your friends are being unreasonable how they can invite you out to say thanks and then except you to pick up the drinks tab is not fair. I have a couple of friends who we paid a meal for when we were out and they said they would pick up the next meal out. Following week we went out and they went to bar and ordered their food and drinks and not a word to us . It left a sour taste of I am honest. Not a lot of money but you feel a bit wronged.

Yes it is cheeky - they didn't take you out for dinner really if they expected you to pay for any part of it. Some people just don't know how to or are too tight to offer a generous thank you. You are now free to adjust your involvement with them or overlook it, depending on how the rest of the friendship stacks up.

They ordered champagne???

You say ‘rich’ like it’s an insult?

It’s cheeky for sure but I’m too poor to care about this 🤣 as soon as I read you had 100k+ to lend someone else who could afford to pay it back within a matter of weeks I got too jealous to read further 🤣

I hear you, but if anything they are normally incredibly generous.

It absolutely does. Otherwise they are not taking you for dinner, youre just going for dinner.

But the evening was more expensive than if OP had not gone out at all, which should we have done if the couple had not offered to take them out to say thanks.

So OP lost money in interest when lending them the cash. And probably quite a lot if it were a large sum.

hen she spent money she would not otherwise have spent on the meal out.

The friends are massive cheeky fuckers.

They definitely should have paid the whole bill under the circumstances.

As they are very good friends, I would put it down to a brain-fart on the husbands part. I wouldn't be surprised if they've had a realisation and are cringing now (or at least the wife if she found out).

Or maybe he's a tight ingrate, but I guess at least you've learned something about his character.

I think you misunderstood what that poster was saying. She was saying that taking someone out for dinner means paying for food and drinks.

Hugely cheeky of them.

Let's say you were able to get 4% interest on your money.

If they borrowed 100k for three months that would be approximately £1000 of interest that you lost by lending them the money interest free.

To be strictly accurate it would be a bit less than that as they paid it back over the 3 months.

But even if it £500 of interest that you lost, they absolutely should have paid for your meal and drinks!

I think you've misunderstood my post.

If they genuinely are as generous as you say and it so out of character I would be asking why they have suddenly decided you need to split the bills.

@Darragonnot wrong at all, they offered as a thank you for saving their dream home

It doesn't matter, but it was quite a bit north of 100k.

But that's not really the point.

100k for a month at 4% would have cost you c £350 pre tax.

You took a risk and saved them grief.

I would have paid and carried you the streets on my shoulders

Or their house purchase would have fallen through!!

Absolutely would have expected them to pay the entire bill. Or at least expected a good bottle of wine or a home cooked dinner invite.

Smile and don’t leans them any money ever again. Cheeky fuckers.

Do you think there was any element at all of the husband being passive aggressive because he thought you shouldn’t have actually expected them to pay the money back?

It does sound like you’re all quite wealthy, but maybe you are more so than them if you had the money sitting there to lend. Is there any tiny part of him which might have felt you should have simply gifted the money, or some of it or anything at all?

Because it’s a really odd way to have behaved at dinner, particularly ordering champagne and then telling you to pay for it. All I can think of is a tiny passive aggressive dig either because he is unhappy that you have more money than him, or unhappy that you didn’t gift them anything. Or they are simply a bit clueless and cheeky but you haven’t noticed it before.

I would think "we'll take you out for dinner to say thanks" means that the whole thing is their treat. Not just some of it! I'd be a bit miffed too.
Were they expecting you to turn down the offer do you think?

Grabby

“Darling, I’ve got a great idea to get a free dinner out of someone. Let’s offer to loan them a significant amount of money for 3 months, CHARGE NO INTEREST, and then get them to buy us dinner as a thank you!”

Jesus wept

If they were in any way grabby they’d have charged them interest!

The couple absolutely should have paid for the entire meal. Should have gone to a cheaper restaurant if cost was a consideration.

They should be embarrassed.

Just need to move on, no point saying anything.

Well it’s not my business but if their finances are “excellent” I’m very surprised they so desperately need a personal loan from friends.

Surely that’s a step of last resort after usual channels for funding have been declined.

"Grabby" is not a word that sprang to my mind.

Grabby is a word I only see on MN and it's usually in response to some perfectly normal response, such as

"My grandparents died and they left £1 million to my cousin and £10 to me. AIBU to be a bit hurt?"

"I would be delighted with £10. You sound grabby"

Bloody hell.

so based on 4% interest that you could have got, that means lending them that money will have cost you £1000 in lost interest.

And they were not only too cheap to buy you fucking drinks with your meal, but too cheap to buy their own fucking drinks that you had to buy for them.

So its cost you £1000 (at least) plus the cost of everyone's drinks that night to do them a favour.

Honestly OP, I would not be able to view them in the same light again.

OP had an invitation to dinner to say thanks for lending the friend a significant amount of money interest free. I think most would assume the invitation would cover the whole bill.

Bloody hell - I don't understand the people saying you are grabby and "they paid you back" as if that is some kind of fantastic gesture.

A 'significant' amount to save a property deal is likely to be £50k, say. The interest on £50k for 3 months at a modest 4% in an ordinary savings account is £500!

And as well as being of real monetary value this loan was what enabled them to buy their dream home!

You sacrificed £500 of interest, they invite you out for dinner to say thank you and expect you to pay for the drinks?

I don't know how they had the front. Bizarre behaviour. They invited you out to say thank you....

I would have ordered lobster and chateaubriand and drank tap water. In my fantasy parallel life, anyway.

Edit to say MY ASSESSMENT OF HOW MUCH THEY BORROWED WAS WAY OFF!!! THEY COST YOU OVER £1K IN INTEREST! Bloody hell.

I think this is the least of your worries tbh. Just after borrowing a huge amount of money, these friends have suddenly started acting out of character? I see problems ahead.