This is off isn't it?

[coulditbeme2323]

Husband and I loaned another couple a significant amount of money as if we didn't their dream home would have fallen through. All properly drawn up, and to be fair was for a short period of time as in just under 3 months.

All paid back two weeks ago as agreed (no interest by the way as it might matter) and friend text saying we want to take you our to dinner to say thanks.

Didn't expect or want that, but lovely gesture.

Went to a very nice place Saturday and other husband said to my husband I'll get the food and you get the wine/drinks. Now to put into context the wine/drinks were about 35% of the bill so other couple paid 65%.

Now it's not the money, and it was a lovely evening, and I would never mention to my friend, but is that a bit cheeky?

Yes. Very cheeky as it was supposed to be a thank you treat for you. I hope you were the better people, smiled, bought the drinks and vowed never to lend them
money again.

I’m confused. Cheeky that they paid 65% of the bill? Were you expecting them to pick up the entire bill?

To be honest yes.

Oh sorry, completely missed that they offered to take you out for dinner. Yes, that’s quite rude!

Yes obviously.

OP - I think it's cheeky.

What??? They paid you back and paid for food. You sound grabby.

Wrong

Yes it's cheeky of them

Offering to take someone out for dinner doesn't just mean paying for the food.

I can see how it sounds that way, and as I said we didn't expect a thankyou.

But it was a significant amount of money we loaned them, but more importantly when somebody says "they want to take you out for dinner to say thank you" I would take that as 100% of the bill.

But happy to be told I am wrong.

That's the spirit.

If you specifically invite someone out as a ‘thank you’, then you pay. It is not ‘grabby’ of the OP to assume that they’d be paying for the ‘thank you’ meal in its entirety.

But OP and her husband paid for everyone’s drinks.

I wouldn’t complain but would be a bit confused. The night out shouldn’t have cost you anything if it was a treat.

Even ignoring the money lending, very wrong of them to offer to take you out for dinner and then expect you to pay for part of it.

Grabby? They loaned them a substantial sum and didn’t ask for any interest. That’s extremely generous. You realise that the OP and her DH will have lost interest themselves during that time?

I would also have raised an eyebrow OP. I wouldn’t say a thing, but I’d be surprised.

I very much doubt they’ve been deliberately cheeky OP. Maybe they should have been clearer in their offer. But you did a nice thing, they paid you back, you didn’t expect or want a thanks and you’ve had a lovely evening together than was a bit cheaper for you as a thanks. Just take it for what it is and move on. Sounds like a nice friendship overall

Did the wife know that her husband asked you to pay? I’m wondering if maybe she had left the table and didn’t know or if this was both of them being cheeky.
They’d have lost their house without your loan, a thank you dinner means they pay the full amount.

You're not wrong at all.

You saved their bacon with the huge loan.

You saved them a substantial amount of interest.

They bought you a bit of grub - but on the very late and imposed condition that you paid for them to have free drinks.

So they got paid 'interest' but you didn't. They are massive cheeky fuckers.

"We'd like to take you out to say thank you" means that the person offering pays, the whole bill. Good grief, of course it's not grabby, it's literally what it means!!

I certainly would! You don't take people out for a thank you meal and ask them to pay.

Hopefully a lesson learned op. They really aren't good friends are they?

She was there, but even if she thought it was cheeky I doubt she would have embarrassed her husband.

You did them a favour and they offered to take you out for dinner. If you offer to take someone out for dinner then you pick up the bill in full. It’s now cost you 35% of the bill to lend them money. Yes, I’d be annoyed, but I’d have said I wasn’t paying as it was them that suggested the dinner as a thank you.

The 'friends' sound so appalling that I'd assume they are in some way related to one of you, @coulditbeme2323.

Well that's the thing they really are, and it's quite out of character.

I wouldn't see this as a big deal. Though I would have expected them to pick up the tab for the drinks too, they've paid the loan back in full, which is the main thing. Maybe your friend said they would pay for everything without first checking with her husband, who is perhaps a bit more realistic about their finances, given they've just had a huge expense?