Small life or big life?

[Pufferthemagicjacket]

Two quite different options are available to me right now:

A: Continue to be SAHM. Plenty of time to exercise, keep house, go to appointments, have coffees with friends etc. Some days I feel very lucky, other days feel like I’m aimlessly drifting a bit. Can afford a few “nice to have’s” but lifestyle fairly basic.

B: Accept FT job. Enjoy “sense of purpose” and extra money, but this would be intermingled with quite a bit of stress and general feeling of overwhelm (have done before). Also, childcare issues. But financial security would be a plus. I would also pay for cleaner etc, so would get a break from some menial tasks that have been my job for a number of years.

AIBU to have no idea which option is best?! WWYD?

Same. I am delighted that my young adult kids have seen both of us work fulltime yet do all the school runs between us. We have both worked, done the nappies, laundry and cooking. We have been a truly equal household and I know my young adult son and daughter both believe that men and women can do everything. In many ways it’s our greatest achievement.

@Mandlers I think that teaching young adults that successful family units can take many different forms, i.e., that they have choices, is the most important idea.

In our urban neighborhood, for example, we have all sort of households: both parents working FT and managing all the household chores between them, others who have aupairs and cleaners to help out; SAHD's with Mums working FT; both parents WFH; one parent FT and the other PT. Plus varying household compositions - straight couples, gay couples, single parents who've adopted, etc.

Nowadays, no one needs to feel pigeonholed into assuming certain roles and it's wonderful that young adults today have that freedom. Of course, it's not the case in many countries, but our children are lucky to have choices.