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Original poster

Son wouldn’t let me use his loo !

554 replies

zoovo · 27/04/2026 09:05

I visited my 23 yr old Son over the weekend. I live 2.5hrs from him. Parked on his driveway and we headed straight out to lunch, shops etc. At the end of my visit I said I will use your loo before I leave and he said I couldn’t. Apparently his GF was in his home and she wasn’t ready to meet me due to anxiety. I said I only need a wee, I actually thought he was joking but he wasn’t. I left close to tears that he would do this to me. So I just left. I found a garden centre 25min into my journey home to stop off at. I’m still in disbelief that he treated me this way. I’m really hurt by this. I do have some medical issues at times which mean sometimes I really do need the loo urgently and he knows this. On this occasion it wasn’t to urgent but he didn’t know that. I don’t know how to move forward from this. Am I being unreasonable to feel so upset by this?

OP posts:
ThreadGuardDog · Yesterday 15:06

GasperyJacquesRoberts · Yesterday 12:52

I take it you've never had to deal with someone with significant mental health issues when they're having a bad day. For those of us who have, this kind of thing is entirely believable.

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And for someone who has bladder urgency issues ? Are we playing disability top trumps ? Too often MH is considered a reason for excusing shit, rude behaviour. OP wasn’t about to barge in and force a meeting if the girl wasn’t ready but really, how difficult would it have been for her to nip into another room to allow OP to use the loo ?

Purpletable · Yesterday 15:11

ThreadGuardDog · Yesterday 15:06

And for someone who has bladder urgency issues ? Are we playing disability top trumps ? Too often MH is considered a reason for excusing shit, rude behaviour. OP wasn’t about to barge in and force a meeting if the girl wasn’t ready but really, how difficult would it have been for her to nip into another room to allow OP to use the loo ?

Show quote history

I don't think pp was trying to excuse any thing, or playing disability top trumps. She just said the reason given by the son to refuse entry was believable.

The person she was replying to was assuming the MH reasons were ‘clearly an excuse’ because ‘nobody is that ridiculous and unreasonable in real life’.

But of course they sometimes are. We’ve all heard the horrific outcomes of family mental health crises on the news.

GasperyJacquesRoberts · Yesterday 16:38

ThreadGuardDog · Yesterday 15:06

And for someone who has bladder urgency issues ? Are we playing disability top trumps ? Too often MH is considered a reason for excusing shit, rude behaviour. OP wasn’t about to barge in and force a meeting if the girl wasn’t ready but really, how difficult would it have been for her to nip into another room to allow OP to use the loo ?

Show quote history

I'm not playing "disability top trumps" although it seems you may be trying to. The person I quotes was saying they couldn't believe that anyone would behave like that. I can, because I've had someone shouting and screaming at me in a somewhat similar situation. I'm not excusing that behaviour in any way, I'm just saying it's believable.

Mycarsmellsoflavender · Yesterday 18:37

There’s something or someone in the house he doesn’t want you to see.

In my ex’s case, it was a child. His child, that he hadn’t told anyone about. Wouldn’t allow his Mum to visit.

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