Aghast at DP’s tightness at home

[Werusb]

I’ve moved in with my DP - had stayed plenty of times with no issue.

I am now seeing a different side of him, he is so so tight when it comes to energy usage, water etc.

He is constantly moaning about me using the oven, he has one bathroom and his latest thing is not flushing it too often regardless of use. So today for example, he used it at about 9.30. I freaked out when I went in and flushed then mentioned to him. He said that he read online about a new thing where it’s only flushed twice a day at 1pm and before bed. Just grim!

It is his flat but I can’t be expected to go along with this surely?!

I can’t imagine sitting on a toilet seat where the pan is full of wee or 💩. Just the thought of exposing your undercarriage to all those germs makes me feel 🤢

No, in this instance I do think he’s being honest when h3 said he behaved like this when she wasn’t there,

and he’s not alone, there are others posting they have bowls full of piss in their homes, so they can save the environment apparently . I’d guess 8rs the same crowd who time showers etc, and irs actually tightness gone rank.

I mean, this is a bit pathetic. There are no actual deadly piss germs swarming up your foof.

It's grim because our disgust reflex naturally predisposes us to find out internal fluids revolting when we see them outside our body. It's grim because it's grim.

Oh how pathetic of me not to leap at the opportunity to sit directly over a pile of bubbling 💩, obviously a character flaw!

Oh for god's sake. Shylock was a Shakespearean character known for being tight fisted. It was a perfectly reasonable reference.

As was Polonius. But Shylock is best known for being Jewish. You knew that.

And you’d need plenty of flash to clean that pooey loo.

Gone in a flush 😂

If he dislikes you using the oven is he going to bring you out for dinner every day ?

I know one household who don't flush after wees, I can tell you that the minute you walk in their front door the stench of strong piss is disgusting

Gross...move straight back out. Things can hardly improve.

Is he autistic?
i grew up in a household where my (now i realise it is autistic) father was very controlling, particularly over things like the heating, food wastage , water etc - how long to have showers, telling me off for flushing (as a young girl who needed to flush), how much toilet paper I was using (apparently too much). I actually ended up with serious anxiety after my teens. I knew it wasn't normal as such but my mother wouldn’t say anything and I grew up not realising how controlling it was. Kinda hate him so much now tbh

Of course. So what?

Exactly this .

Well said!

My dh is an environmental evangelist and does go on about saving energy and water

but he always flushes the toilet!

Well, just fyi, "Shylock" is a persona-non-grata reference in some circles these days, and it's likely to fall further out of fashion, like the phrases "broken home," and "mistress." They are all Boomer language. We recently had to take "Shylock" out of some work materials. You might think it's a perfectly reasonable reference, but for all you know, you might use it when talking to a Jewish person, and they may well be highly offended.

"Master bedroom" is also out. Too many slave connotations. It's "owner's suite" now.

@lornad00m From your reply above, it sounds like maybe you're not aware, but there's a very old, very well-established anti-Semitic trope of Jewish people as being really tight-fisted and obsessed with money. It's not a coincidence that Shylock is Jewish. He's the expression of that dreadful stereotype. It sounds like you might not realise that. Which is fine - we can't know everything, and I wasn't young myself when I learned the anti-Semitic symbolism of Shylock. But he's a really, really strong negative Jewish stereotype, not just with the money but with the depiction of his appearance. So you might just want to be careful using the S word, as it can cause great offence. 👍

Ewwww, yuck!

I get it about saving water, but there truly are other ways to cut back on water usage!

I've done the mellow thing on the odd occasion when I've felt like it, but I live alone and have an irritable bladder thanks to peri. So I often go multiple times in an hour and don't produce much each visit. So that's a lot of needless flushes. But I live alone and would never do it when expecting someone! And I flush it every other visit anyway!

I would NEVER do it if I lived with anyone.

So another 'someone, somewhere, may or may not' take offence?

That's on them. It's utterly ridiculous.

But I thought Shakespeare was a black, Jewish woman.

What on earth are you rabbiting on about now?

And just find some other way to talk about tight fistedness. This really isn't the time for ignorant Jewish stereotypes. It shouldn't be hard for any reasonably intelligent person.

Try and keep up.

It isn't ridiculous. "Shylock" is a well-known anti-Semitic slur. I appreciate that you might not have realised that, but I can't fathom why you would dig your heels in, having been informed. Oh well, if you want to go around saying anti-Semitic things, you'll just have to suffer the consequences when people take you for an anti-Semite!

That's funny. My bullshit filter works well enough to avoid wasting my time with stupid puff stories, and yet I can still see you deflecting and digging your heels in over an antisemitic slur.

Shakespeare's anti-Semitism was brought up on Nicky Campbell's Radio5L talk show on Thursday citing the Shylock character as an example. Hot topic ATM. Someone who knows enough about Shakespeare to know Shylock also knows it's anti-Semitic. No excuses.