Aghast at DP’s tightness at home

[Werusb]

I’ve moved in with my DP - had stayed plenty of times with no issue.

I am now seeing a different side of him, he is so so tight when it comes to energy usage, water etc.

He is constantly moaning about me using the oven, he has one bathroom and his latest thing is not flushing it too often regardless of use. So today for example, he used it at about 9.30. I freaked out when I went in and flushed then mentioned to him. He said that he read online about a new thing where it’s only flushed twice a day at 1pm and before bed. Just grim!

It is his flat but I can’t be expected to go along with this surely?!

Get a compost heap and pee on that

Works wonderfully

I'm Mr Green Eco Freak but I realise its a straightforward choice between living the Eco Dream and being in a happy relationship

The bathroom must stink. Such a turn off!

Pay attention: the OP's partner flushes twice a day, "regardless of use."

I can just imagine the smell.......
Cripes, I couldn't be living with someone like that. Just flush the loo and turn on the oven when you want, pay no heed to his silly ways and hopefully he'll stop whining! Does he only bathe on occasion too?

And to be honest, I cannot see that he'd save any great amount by not flushing the loo and any he did would need to spent on bleach. What is the point?

Are you paying your share? Because if so you absolutely also have a say.

I don’t like wastage (DP has a tendency to waste food) but the flushing would be absolutely non-negotiable. Yuck.

The not flushing thing is grim

So he wants to see your poo and blood and tampons in the toilet, reminds me of girl guide camp we were only allowed 2 squares of toilet paper,

Sure. But your comment and others directly quoted me rather than the op, and I only spoke of wee. You added in the shit yourself, and once you make up stuff, it weakens your point.

I'm not making shit up. We are discussing the OP's AIBU. Her original post says about shit.

Your post was about the cost of flushing the toilet, which you saw as an environmental not economic cost. The environmental cost of flushing a turd and a piss are the same.

But good for you if you want to live in a house with bowls of piss left around. Some of think that's fucking rank.

Same I have four sons and I cannot think of anything worse
(mind you I tumble dry all year long and will put the dishwasher in overnight even if only a couple plates and cups so can’t really attest to this scrimping mindset- wasting food however …

..Or clean their own toilets!

So, you’ve mentioned the loo and the oven. What else is there which would constitute ending a relationship over? Can’t you talk things through with him regarding the loo and say you’ll be flushing it after yourself no matter what.

You haven’t gone into detail re the oven so I don’t know what to comment there. Is this a long term relationship? Do you think you were ready to move in together?

Only men's wee is good for that. Too much oestrogen in women's wee. Not good for the plants.

Move back out! He’s shown you who he is - believe him.

Run for the hills OP 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

Not flushing the toilet?! I do not know any person that would live with that. Disgusting.

It’s not ‘his flat’ anymore if you’ve moved in. You can’t have that mindset forever. If you live there, you get a say as well. If he isn’t ok with that, you need your own space.

You must of heard the saying
you don’t really know someone till you live with them 😱

What did his toilet look like when you visited his flat before you moved in? If he did additional flushes to hide his disgustingness then he has been very sneaky.

You can't live like this, it will be miserable. I'd give him one chance to stop it (and start flushing the toilet!) and if he brings it up again, it's over.

It's really sensible to only flush every few wees, especially if you live alone or with children. Dilute, pale urine (if drinking plenty ) doesn't smell in the toilet. We should all be saving water.

Clearly there's a yuk factor in your scenario, with two unfamiliar adults and of course he can't force his ideals on you. If you contribute financially you can flush the toilet. As pp's have said, these things will make you both decide your compatibility.

Don't be ridiculous. How is flushing the toilet going to even affect the environment?

Years ago I had a friend marry her partner only to find out he went to Olympic standards of saving money on household bills.
Showered and pooed at work, at the weekend would use the gym facilities that came with said work to shower and poo.
Gathered rain water to flush their home toilet.

Although lately was very proud to pay for her Botox, breast enlargements and BBL. I find it very hard to still be friends with her but I live in hope one day I can help her leave.

In a flush, even. Agreed

Absolutely would have the ick and need to leave.

Also anyone on the mellow is yellow ride, urine sitting in a toilet starts to smell. Maybe you are immune to it but your visitors aren’t and a flush doesn’t dissipate the smell quickly. Blergh.