Aghast at DP’s tightness at home

[Werusb]

I’ve moved in with my DP - had stayed plenty of times with no issue.

I am now seeing a different side of him, he is so so tight when it comes to energy usage, water etc.

He is constantly moaning about me using the oven, he has one bathroom and his latest thing is not flushing it too often regardless of use. So today for example, he used it at about 9.30. I freaked out when I went in and flushed then mentioned to him. He said that he read online about a new thing where it’s only flushed twice a day at 1pm and before bed. Just grim!

It is his flat but I can’t be expected to go along with this surely?!

If you had children together there would be more of you to build up the intensity of the toilet bowl contents! Also even if you can put up with it what would you do when you have guests round? It seems like he is living a bachelor lifestyle to me. Not only would this put me off but I would also wonder if he is going to introduce other limitations on what you are allowed to do which could get quite restrictive!

Possibly so he could split rent ?

disgusting

Yuk. He'll just be spending more on toilet cleaners then. I couldn't relax with someone like this. Bet you're having second thoughts.

Id be moving back out tbh.

Hes complaining about you putting the cooker on? I mean thats just nuts!

It's a Martin Lewis saying:
"If it's yellow, let it mellow.
If it's brown, flush it down".

Not true. Peeing on the compost heap is fine! The microbes/ other creatures will deal with the oestrogen. Think it would also be ok on soil, but imo it would be better to stick to using pee (men's and women's) as a compost activator, rather than pouring it (even diluted with water) directly onto the soil.

The real issue with using human pee as a fertiliser for plants is the risk of transmitting antibiotic resistance, but researchers a few years ago concluded that this was unlikely, as long as the urine had been "aged" (!)

But if you have a garden/ outdoor space, and a partner who claims to be motivated by ecological concerns, why not propose that he constructs a composting toilet system, that doesn't need any water at all to flush?! He could then use that, as often as he liked, without wasting any water. Alternatively, why not set up a system to collect/ store greywater (eg the stuff you've used in the shower) and use that to flush the toilet? Out-eco him!

Tell him to stop or you will be moving out.

It's just so unsexy apart from anything else, thing my lady parts would reseal in this situation

DUMP AND RUN!

When people show you who they are, believe them.

Turn Shylock into a distant memory. Time to pack up and ship out.

Two baths in one day is pretty self-indulgent! If he had got so dirty that he needed a second clean, it should have been a quick shower! Am with your DH.

Shylock?? Nooooooo 🙈 You can't say that in this day and age! Scrooge is better.

Teenage boys sweat a lot and are notoriously smelly.

It was former London mayor Ken Livingstone I think

He sounds like the type that would insist that you use both sides of the toilet roll.
😉😁.

Just because yellow rhymes with mellow, its no excuse to not flush the loo

Move back out op, its not going to work

It's not really manpiss when there's 4 boys. I have 3 loos so we keep the downstairs one unused and clean in case of visitors. The boys use the house bathroom DH uses ensuite .

The op indicated it might be that , but it’s utterly disgusting to have a bowl full of urine you all pee into, there are other ways to help the environment. Flush your toilet.

We don't flush at night, to avoid any noise disturbing other people in our flats. That is, unless it's a number 2 in which case we do flush.

I couldn't live with anyone who didn't flush after a number 2.

@EmeraldRoulette flush when necessary when anyone does flush is fine to me but we try not to because of the water shortage and I don't want the bastards who own my water getting any more than necessary. If I know someone is coming round I will flush. There are a lot of little wees going down the loo.

And I was agreeing with another poster about when it's yellow etc. I don't agree with OP having to put up with it. That's her prerogative. We just started by not flushing in the night or before we went to sleep.

Not flushing for pee is something some people do. If he’s leaving feaces in the bowl that’s a hygiene problem and disgusting.

Oh heck no. I would not want to live with someone who doesn't flush and complains about my flushing. I won't pee over someone elses pee. Apparently one flush costs 4p if you have an old toilet. I would pay the £15/month extra on utilities on both of us flushing. If it is about environment, then we would have too different values. If he can't let it go, then it would be a dealbreaker.

When my current and ex boyfriends pee/peed at night and didn’t flush, it made the toilet really hard to clean. Maybe because I have very hard water and it reacted with the pee or something. I don’t know but because of that I wouldn’t be doing the flushing twice a day thing. You can get a thing that takes up space in the cistern so it uses less water to fill if paying something like 3p really is a problem.

OP maybe you should go through finances together? If he is now only paying half the bills but can’t afford to flush the toilet then something has gone wrong?? Or he might see that he actually has more money than he thinks and that cooking a meal with the oven won’t bankrupt him

In Switzerland there is a law that prohibits people in apartment blocks from flushing the toilet - for any reason, 😲 - between 10 pm and 6 am…