To be furious with DH for this?

[Coffeecherrymama]

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

Yes to this. I’m going to take the house.
Hmm, I’ll think about that.
Hmm, feeding a newborn baby at present.
etc
dont rise to it, dont shout, dont fight.
Its not good for you or the baby, & will really piss him off😉

What a pathetic man.

Speak to a solicitor.

Its just bricks and mortar. You will be entitled to your share

The law won't let him leave you and both your kids homeless. Seek legal advice. Don't move out.

Good job that financial settlements are decided by pathetic wastes of space. He'd happily see you and your DC homeless? Don't rise to it. Get your sister to come with you to a solicitor appointment to take notes and be another pair of ears.

Abuse tends to ramp up when you are at your most vulnerable, because they think you are powerless. He thinks that he can do what he likes. How are you going to stop him? He has shown you that he is unsupportive and abusive, However sad it feels at the moment, you and your children will be better off without him in the long run.

OP just say something bland and non reactive and carry on as you are.

Let him go to bloody Ibiza and enjoy the headspace while he is there, and make appointments for legal advice.

The courts wouldn't see a mum and two young children end up homeless. I'm so glad your sister is there for you. Keep posting here too and we can support you as well.

He's despicable. As if what he's already shown wasn't bad enough he's now threatening you (his post partum wife who is caring for his newborn and firstborn) with homelessness. 😡 It's a spineless, cruel and ridiculous threat.

You now know he’s not your friend. He is your adversary no matter how much you don’t want to believe it or how much it hurts! Treat him as such from now on because he will certainly treat you as one. Grey rock him and follow the advice of some of the PP’s. Don’t rise to his threats. As suggested, phrases such as ‘I’ll bear that in mind’ are really good advice. If you can text him and get his responses via text, even better. An emotionally healthy stable man would realise he’s f*cked up and do everything in his power to put things right.

He has as much chance of "taking" the house as I do! He could work and support and house himself, you are working when not on ML, paying the mortgage that he cant afford and you need to house you and two kids.

He will get something but it wont be much, and he will have to pay child support out of his benefits which will go up as soon as he gets a job.

He is fucked and he knows it, he cant threaten you with trying to get residency of the kids as he doesnt want them clearly, so the house is the only thing he can use. Nod smile and see a SHL (MN shorthand for Shit Hot Lawyer!).

can Mr Unemployed for many months afford the mortgage on his own, or will mummy and daddy be paying it for him ?

has he enough savings to afford a solicitor for a divorce or will mummy and daddy be paying that for him too

He hasn't a hope in hell. Please find a solicitor who can help you. You may be able to get Legal Aid.

thinking further, funny how all he cares about is something to do with money ie. not losing his free ride, not the kids. Shows where his priorities lie.

I am afraid that he has turned into a cocklodger.

Not threatening to take the kids or get a job then 🙄. So you’re to put up and shut up? honestly in the long run your life will be easier if you get rid. Get advice and get the ball rolling. Sorry you’re in this position at all, let alone after just having had a baby.

He’s in Ibiza but he keeps calling and messaging me when I’ve said I don’t want to hear from him x

“Cake and eat it” spring to mind…

Are you gonna take him back? Honestly a new born baby and he's in Ibiza that is beyond low

Don’t respond to him.

I’d bet any money that he’s taking drugs and sleeping with random girls whilst he’s out there. I’m so sorry to say.

Speak to a solicitor ASAP Take a family member with you.

Do NOT contact his parents.

Because he has (finally) realised that he has gone waaay too far and now almost certainly doesnt have a home to come back to.

He either has to live with his mother (which I suspect he would rather not do, I bet she is all over him with her smothering) or get a job and pay his way.

He crashed the gravy train and is now regretting it. I would send one message "I have asked you to not contact me and you are still doing that so let me be clear. I do not wish to have any contact with you whatsoever unless it is about the children, any other messages will be ignored and calls not answered. If it continues I will be logging them with the police as harassment".

If he wanted to make amends he wouldn’t have gone.

It reminds me of my younger years when unbeknown to me, a BF at the time used to follow me home to ensure that’s where I went, then he would go out clubbing etc from there. His mother ended up telling me..

your (former) partner is no prize. Out of work for so long, spending savings on himself when there’s a new baby coming into the home. He is trying to cause you anguish by threatening you into thinking you are going to be homeless.

please make an appointment with legal aid or a solicitor pronto and when you hear from the moron again give him their contact details.

I still think you should have a chat to your local community police too. They will have good contacts who can help and support you. Hinting that you are going to be homeless when you are just home with a new Bub is threatening behaviour.

sending hugs. 🤗

Wow, I'm lost for words. Please leave him. He can go live with his enabling mother. I don't think there's any coming back from this. A decent husband would be with you, supporting you. Not out partying like a single man. He doesn't seem to add positives to your life, just more drama which you don't need.

He really is an utter arsehole isn't he. I am so sorry you are in this position.

What an absolute peach. He’s got a newborn baby and a toddler at home and he’s off larging it up in Ibiza like a 16 year old that’s just finished his exams.

The best thing you can do right now is to block his number, and block him on any social media.

She (your mil) must be a useless drunk herself to think this is ok. No wonder he's a jerk.

You deserve much better, get his stupid mother to come clean up the vomit.

What the absolute hell is this situation? What an absolute bellend of a human being, I can’t even call him a man - I’m so sorry OP that you are married to this POS! Get out as soon as you can for the sake of you and the kids and don’t look back!

He’s an absolute cunt!!!!!!