AIBU for making a harsh comment to DH about our sex life?

[HungryJ]

DH and I have had issues with our sex life for a while now and I have to admit I resent him for it. He keeps promising to try and improve things but this lasts a couple of days at most.

We had yet another argument this morning, and were shopping this afternoon. On the way back to the car, a man passed us in a vest who’d clearly been to the gym.

DH made a sarky comment to me when we sat in the car about my eyeing him up.

I replied ‘yeah, need to make sure I remember him for when I use my toy tomorrow when you’re working’.

DH snapped that I was out of order. I told him I stand by what I said. I’m just feeling so fed up.

Unbelievably nasty - I don’t blame him for not wanting to have sex with you.

Do you have a partner @shuggles ?

Or maybe she is a man deliberately winding people up?

He clearly doesn't want to have to approach you more than once a week and with such a vingerary, bitter attitude who can blame him.

Maybe you could pay him from your wonderful salary, to gird his loins and force himself to approach you twice a week?

He's not that into you basically or he would make an effort, barring any medical reason.

Maybe he’s not that into you?

could he be having trouble with erections or seeing someone else?

@HungryJ i can’t believe the mean comments to your post. nothing wrong at all with what you said, you’re entitled to want and expect your husband to desire you

You sound deeply unpleasant, OP.

Of course I don’t. All I’m saying is consent should go both ways.

You'd really take half a mans pension or he have half of yours just because you're not getting ploughed?

Imagine a man saying on here "wife won't put out however she needs to give me sex because without my salary shed be in all sorts of trouble". He would be torn to shreds

Mean? Would you call these comments mean if it was a man saying they weren't getting enough sex or their partner won't leave them because they are the high earner? No they would be called a sex pest and torn a new one

Or a woman. Don't fall into a trap that only men can be on the wind up

Well the former yes

What a horrible thing to say OP, what makes you think you can speak to someone like that. Me and DH have sex much less than that but we are a partnership with two small kids. If he ever spoke to me like that, I wouldn’t be with him. And BTW saying he couldn’t leave you due to finance sounds abusive.

You sound really unpleasant. Or is this a reverse?

You know you were being unreasonable - that’s why you’ve posted on MN. Have you tried couples therapy - might help your relationship.

What you said didn't help and was actually rather revolting.
You and your husband are obviously not sexually compatible. It's nobody's fault.

The palpable dislike between spouses is quite something here.
🙁

He's very wise, you sound insufferably spiteful.

i hope he leaves you.

Maybe he's depressed?

Op does he ask these types of questions alot? Like accusing you of looking/eyeing ither people up?

I am trying to understand, I read it like you are at the end of your tether because he is accusatory?

Just a mismatch of expectations. But I think people are more likely to warm up to the idea of instigating if they feel accepted and cherished as they are whatever their baseline libido.